Saturday, July 25, 2020

Completely Random, Hilarious, And Strange Tumblr Gems


Oh boy, we're back at it again with a fresh collection of totally random and hilarious Tumblr gems. These will help occupy your existence. You haven't really lived till you've fallen down a Tumblr rabbit hole. 

1.

Text - Ing education technology, overwrought fears about technology have proven equally exaggerated. Those apprehensive about computer-assisted tutoring or online instruction would do well to keep in mind that such concerns have greeted almost any new learning tool. Dave Thornburg and David Dwyer, for instance, offer up a list of past complaints in their book Rethinking Education En the Age of Technology: The Digital Revolution and Schooling in America. From today's vantage point, some of the co

2.

Text - a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy Took a nap and had a dream that l'd gotten a hyperrealistic tattoo of a Band Aid, just so that I could cover it with a real Band Aid. When people would ask what happened, I'd say, "It's kind of weird. Are you sure you wanna' see?" and then I'd dramatically rip the Band Aid off to reveal my tattoo of a Band Aid. Classic Astral Plane Me. insomination Don't tempt me like this.

3.

Text - O onward-to-victuuri are you an "arrr" pirate or a “yo ho ho" pirate xromanticalityx I'm an "I'm not paying $600 for Photoshop" pirate 216,750 notes

4.

Text - hyrude ive eaten shrimp exactly 5 times in my life, always with gusto and an utter lack of self-restaint, and each time has ingrained itself in my memory as distinctly nightmarish when they ended with me ralphing it all back up within the hour. i thought this was reflective of my hubris and insufficient fear of god, but it is only as i write this post now, crumpled to my knees on the floor of this eresto's bathroom after eating half a baja taco and recalling that my dad is allergic to she

5.

Text - O cactus-spirit Me: "I need some serotonin." Husband: Stands up. Husband: Sits back down. Hisband: "I didn't remember what serotonin was until after I stood up so I was deadass about to go get you some." feenyxblue Hes a little confused, but hes got the spirit Source: cactus-spirit

6.

Text - notchicken Kids are interesting. I'm babysitting a 9 year old boy right now who's homework is to write a fictional story and he wrote about how in millions of years the sun will expand killing everything and one man fell asleep at the beach and missed all the official an- nouncements about the world ending but he managed to be the only survivor of the solar flares because he applied SPF 100 sunscreen. Source: notchicken 169,547 notes

7.

Text - elmify I discovered a nice little coffee shop near my apartment, and instead of thinking "this is very convenient," my first thought was my life's coffee shop au is about to begin elmify Update: I was at the aforementioned coffee shop and this guy sat down next to me near the window. A pretty barista came over with his drink, and she said to him: "This isn't right. You're supposed to sit at the counter! You're supposed to tell me stories!" And the guy laughed, and they both looked at the

8.

Text - shittymoviedetails Follow release of cats movie things going to shit dec 2019 the universe decides to punished humanity 87,067 notes

9.

Text - gods-little-punk There should really be a 'nevermind' option on Netflix. Sometimes I start a movie or a series and ten minutes or an episode in,I decide I don't like it. I don't want to see it in my 'continue watching' category, and I certainly don't want to see 'because you watched this thing' either. I made a mistake. Please stop reminding me. Source: gods-little-punk 15,021 notes

10.

Text - worthyironman i think the best thing about gen z is their dedication to self care and by this i mean when john mulaney performed at a college and he took a sip of water the crowd would start applauding and someone yelled at him "hydrate before you die-drate" therefor confusing an already confused man even more

11.

Text - theroguefeminist: gooberascendant: gorgoon: Today I was talking to my dad and I referred to myself as his son(I'm genderfluid btw) and he said "Today's a Son day huh?" And I was like "yeah" And he was like "huh, I thought today was a Saturday, not a Sunday" And I just laughed for like 5 minutes Diversity only makes dads stronger. More powerful. the dad jokes are evolving Source: brycelarkin-notanaccountant

12.

Text - myriadsubtletiess The worst part about having mental health issues is that you're seemingly required to have a breakdown in order for people to understand how hard you were trying to hold yourself together. thingsididntknowwereerotic I have never seen it explained so well. Source: myriadsubtletiess

13.

Text - aykeceratops my wife is constantly mocking me for how lightly done I like my toast. "your hot bread is done," she says to me. disgusting twerkyvulture i don't say that. "hot" would imply it's been in the toaster for more than fifteen seconds lol "your lightly warmed bread is done" i tell u twerkyvulture one of these days i'm not even gonna put it in the toaster, just gonna breathe real hard on the bread for a minute and you'll be like "wow this is perfectly done" dykeceratops "thank you s

14.

Text - dust-n-roses Follow An astrophysicist, a biologist, an electrician and an graphic artist walk into a bar... It's Queen. They're there to play a gig. lickthemagaindeacy Follow On the flip side of that... A guitarist, a bassist, a drummer, and a pianist walk into a bar... It's Queen, and they're there to hang a star chart, fix your lighting, check the fermentation on your beer, and repaint your logo on your window. Those guys are really widely talented. incorrectborhapquotes it got better

15.

Text - m4ge i hate the term "spinal fluid" it conjures up horrible imagery in my mind m4ge (lightly taps a spigot i have attached to my spinal column) come get y'all juice gemineyyes We've never met and I hope it stays that way m4ge this is the most powerful reply ive ever received

16.

Text - REI tilthat TIL scientists created a sound so loud that it can instantly boil water via reddit.com apesoformythoughts Oh, haven't you heard? *gets vaporized*

17.

Text - detrea The premise of minimum wage, when it was introduced, was that a single wage earner should be able to own a home and support a family. That was what it was based on; a full time job, any job, should be able to accomplish this. The fact people scoff at this idea if presented nowadays, as though the people that ring up your groceries or hand you your burgers don't deserve the luxury of a home and a family, is disgusting. femoids Also if a livable wage breaks the system then the system

18.

Cartoon - Bert, have you seen my waste-paper basket? Ask me that again and look into my eyes. alicesadventuresintherye: Sometimes I'm Ernie. Sometimes I'm Bert.

19.

Text - weaver-z Follow The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to "Buzz Aldrin and his husband" going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he'd misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise. rockshitty Follow The moon landing was fake: tired, passé, heard

20.

Text - patricide69 Follow Why are bugs so obsessed with looking like plants be yourself magecock Follow A bird wrote this

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