Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Hilarious And Random Tumblr Nuggets To Pass The Time


So many Tumblr rabbit holes to fall down, so little time. If there's one thing that the minds of Tumblr seem consistently able to deliver on, it's those strange, hilarious threads and fan theories that the rest of the world never saw coming. For instance, the thread where Tumblr went deep on The Incredibles analysis. Or, the thread about the dog that figured out how to herd a lawn roomba.  

1.

Text - pisshets If you add two pounds of sugar to literally one ton of concrete it will ruin the concrete and make it unable to set properly which is good to know if you wanna resist something being built, French anarchists used this to resist prison construction in the 80s run-up-the-sail I'm just gonna go ahead and reblog this for purely educational purposes.

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Text - a rustgoblin goblin trick for improving your mood get some small rocks in your hands (at least 3 but maybe more if u have big hands) close your hands together around all the small rocks shake (rocks will bounce on your hands nd on other rocks. there will be noises. they will be good noises.) profit

3.

Text - Among those interviewed were Merle Haggard's two ex-wives, Kris Kristofferson and Robert Duvall. This book is dedicated to my parents, Ayn Rand and God. Highlights of Peter Ustinov's global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector. Some examples of why the Oxford comma is generally a good idea trekkingwilbury Please don't let the Oxford comma die. If you were apathetic about it before, I think this will help you understand why it is necess

4.

Text - moistmailman Follow Everything l've learned about Elon Musk has been completely against my will. #elon musk 50,283 notes

5.

Text - animedads folks, I'm just gonna say it. I don't think it rains for long enough periods of time. it rains hard, it sounds good, I'm comfortable inside, but within 5 minutes the jig is up. the dream is over. I think it should rain for longer periods of time than it presently does casual-witchcraft a frog made this post i-draws-dinosaurs the frog is right

6.

Text - katie-kapulet: whatthefinnick: My pre-calc teacher got kicked out of the movies once for yelling out diving scores during Titanic as people jumped off the boat. Aol

7.

Text - momo-de-avis Georgia -11 -A A Ąd "What?" She was speak ess th confused, whiplashed by N I S -A:E·E• Estilos le rem your heart is in the right place, it's your head that's catching up. “I needed som her eyes turned to him: « you is well-intentioned this is THE FUNNIEST suggestion Word's grammar thing has ever given me Source: momo-de-avis 39,111 notes 7.

8.

Text - lonely-gfd-cutie So at one of my jobs I work with this really nice woman named Liz who has an equally nice boyfriend. Thing is, I don't know the boyfriends name because Liz only addresses him as boytoy. The term boytoy is used so frequently to describe him that not only does she have no problem using that term but neither do any of her coworkers including myself. One day Liz told me that he would be stopping by and when some dude with a beard came through the door I looked at him and said

9.

Text - S uselessgaywhovian what if instead of drops, rain fell all at once. like, a two inch thick sheet of water just goes thwap, and then it's sunny again drquantum Fun fact: This is what would happen if there was no air resistance, and it would actually come down so fast that it would kill us uselessgaywhovian oh.

10.

Text - thors-oh-so-jovial: thors-oh-so-jovial: thors-oh-so-jovial: There is a blind man here tuning my piano and he keeps making blind jokes quote “you know when people ring me up to ask if I can fix their piano I like to tell them i'm so good I can do it without looking" Sometimes people ask why i became a piano tuner and i tell them its because they wouldnt let me become a pilot

11.

Text - kelssiel aliens being confused by how humans deal with scents human: "gonna have to wash this blanket to get rid of that new smell," alien: *makes a note that humans prefer to mark objects with familiar scents* human: "gotta love that new car smell" alien: *scratches out previous note and replaces it with a question mark* human: "old books smell so good," alien: *increasingly frustrated note taking* human: "mmm love that new book smell," alien: "WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?" Source: kelssiel 56

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Text - frogworshipper frogaroni Follow ... cystemic there's a lady on the train knitting so aggressively and quickly that her needles clack like some sort of cartoon character and I am super intimidated cystemic she smashed out a shawl in like 35 minutes and now she's aggressively eating a sandwich. i cant cystemic that sandwich is gone. packet of chips? gone. fuel for the knitting machine that she is. she’s at it again Source: cystemic 20,938 notes > D E ♡

13.

Text - keatsgay-deactivated20200126 foreshadowing done well makes me go feral like there's NOTHING better than getting to the end a book or an important storyline moment and realising that the author laced information so intricately into their writing that weren't noticeable upon first read but when you read back sections they're light giant red flags like wow writing is amazing mockiato-deactivated20200315 My favorite moment is the split second where it clicks and you really didn't see it comin

14.

Text - e michaelmoonsbookshop just some of the the changes in design for the Penguin Symbol on old Penguin Paperbacks dinkywinks he did a little dance and for this crime he was imprisoned in a bubble

15.

Text - hogwartshousefriends My brother: "to his online friends" I gotta go. My pizza is here. One of his online friends: Where's my pizza? Everyone: "laughs* My brother: "logs out of chat" Me: You know. You could order them pizza. My brother: What? Me: You know his adress. My brother: We live in Canada. They are in the States. Me: So. You can order it online and pay with a credit card. -20 minutes later- Online friend: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET ME A PIZZA FROM CANADA? hogwartshousefriends I like

16.

Text - dankouu-blog If Zuko had a tumblr his blog title would be "Welcome to my twisted mind" kyoshi Choose a photo Show avatar Shape A willygurl68 I laughed way too hard at this

17.

Text - flamefriendsshipped So my boss once robbed a museum to prove a point and honestly, I think she is my new role model. flamefriendsshipped If this gets notes I'll tell the full story fandomlovingweirdo Storu flamefriendsshipped Many years ago, my boss was working at this museum and they had these original Churchill documents on display. These documents are worth millions of dollars. The only thing separating the public from these documents was a sheet of glass secured with 4 philips head sc

18.

Text - the-barn-rat real tired of hearing the vegan vs. omnivore arguments when the real superior diet in terms of both cruelty and ecosystem is locally sourced beef and pork from a farm 10 minutes away from you is more ethical and less detrimental to the environment than quinoa grown in ecuador. the future is food forests. the green revolution is food forests. if we manage to survive this apocalyptic hellscape all of your food, plant and animal, is going to come from within half an hour of wher

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Text - pizzaback I hate how the stereotype is that dolphins are good and sharks are evil, when dolphins are so smart that they have the capacity for evil but sharks are simple fish who can only be true neutral, so even if a minority of dolphins are evil there are still more evil dolphins than sharks rageclit quality marine philosophy discourse

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Text - S flanelltees Follow cinnapeaches -_- and :/ are irreplaceable emoticons that emojis will never be able to touch rudebiboy literally & sleepykirby if you think has the same power as :/ you are a blind fool Source: cinnapeaches 292,955 notes

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