Sunday, April 5, 2020

Bride Gets Left At Altar, Expects Sister To Delay Her Own Wedding


So, one bride gets left at the altar, and as a result the bride expects her sister to delay her own wedding that she had planned. Apparently, the parents pile in on the whole thing at one point, and a whole guilt trip is fueled as a result. Should one wedding be delayed like that just because another, totally separate wedding didn't go as planned? People seem to think, absolutely no delay is necessary. They are independent events. 

1.

Text - AITA for not wanting to "tone down" my wedding? My fiance and I wanted to do something small from the off. We made bookings and placed deposits about 4 months ago. We don't plan on doing anything ridiculous, just a short ceremony then food and dancing. Guest list is around 60 people, which covers both families, a handful of friends and plus ones. Very lowkey, pretty small, and I don't think it's extravagant at all.

2.

Text - Here's the problem: last December, so within weeks of us placing deposits/making plans, my sister was left at the altar. She found out she wasn't getting married when the groom showed up to the church late, asked her to go into another room with him in full view of everyone already seated, and a few minutes later she left the church while he announced that the wedding was off. Her wedding was significantly larger, with almost everyone on my part of my guest list also being included on her

3.

Text - I had a phone call with my sister last week, and after about 5 minutes she asked if my wedding was still going ahead. I said of course it was, why wouldn't it be? She said "no reason" and then said she had to go.

4.

Text - I called mum today and she asked why I was talking about my wedding with my sister, said I upset her and need to tone the wedding down. I thought she meant talking about the wedding and responded that my sister was the one who asked, but then mum said she meant the actual wedding. I asked what that meant and mum began to remind me that she and dad got married in their work clothes in the registrar's office with 2 witnesses. I said that we will not be doing that.

5.

Text - She then asked me how I thought it felt for my sister to see me getting married so soon after her wedding day. She wants me to bring it all the way down to me, my husband, my son, and my husband's parents in the registrar's office. When I asked why she and dad weren't listed she said they'd need to be with my sister. I know this was juvenile but I told her to put dad on. I then asked him what he thought, and I admit I was fully expecting him to side with me. He then said if we couldn't ge

6.

Text - Texted my sister saying what they'd just told me, asking if she actually felt like that, and she confirmed it, and went on to say I was insensitive/ cruel for going ahead with my wedding after what happened with hers and that our weddings should never have been so close together, anyway. My fiance says we shouldn't let her wedding affect ours, and while I do want to be sensitive to her, I kind of agree with him. The plans were made and deposits placed before my sister's wedding, there's a

7.

Text - However, I still have this guilt in the pit of my stomach and I feel really bad at upsetting my sister. I don't want to lose her over this but I feel she's being unreasonable. AITA?

8.

Text - Info: to clarify, everything is currently planned for late November, and a few vendors have sent out mass emails assuring clients that they'll get what they paid for even if that means pushing it back, and we're not doing any of the extra bits - bridal shower, engagement party, stag/hen do, so it's literally just the wedding day and then it's over. We've also said we're going to reevaluate closer to the time and if we do have to push it back it will probably be to November 2021 so we can

9.

Text - ExceptionalPerson • 16h NTA. It's sad, but your sister needs to get the fuck over herself. The world isn't gonna stop for her. She needs to get therapy or whatever because I'm sure that was shocking and deeply upsetting. But that doesn't mean she gets to grieve the loss of her relationship at your expense. If need be, she can sit your wedding out and join the party at the reception. NTA, OP. Enjoy your wedding, congratulations, I hope it's perfect and everything goes on without a hitch.

10.

Text - Jendi2016 • 16h • Asshole Aficionado [14] NTA Your sister wants to ruin your dream wedding because she didn't get hers. It is beyond selfish what she and your parents are asking.

11.

Text - lilbriizy • 15h • Partassipant [1] NTA NTA NTA. I'm honestly floored by this. Your sister got left at the alter and now fully expects YOU to not have YOUR wedding to YOUR wishes and standards? And your family is taking HER side? l'm just... It's okay to be upset, but to try and ruin your day is just childish (And her childish emotions are possibly why she got left at the alter to begin with, just staying).

12.

Text - italy2986 • 16h • Partassipant [4] NTA- Your parents sound like major AH. It sad that your sister got left at the alter bit her bad experience shouldn't have anything to do with your happy day. I say go through with your wedding and if your parents can't be supportive of you that's there fault for missing out. As it doesn't sound like they planned to be there anyway even if you did get married at the register. You deserve a happy wedding day just about you and your spouse and your sister

13.

Text - DarthFartus • 16h NTA 100% your sister is just being petty because she is emotional and trying to take it out on you

14.

Text - ambolefum • 9h • Partassipant [2] NTA - I can't believe your parents expect you to basically give up your wedding because it will hurt your sister. I think in all of this I would be more upset at their blatant favouritism! And to top it all off, the three of them wouldn't even come to the one they are demanding you "tone down" Is this a common theme for your parents? Favouring your sister I mean? This reminds me of the post about the parents that expected expected their daughter to give h

15.

Text - jackiee_the_ripper • 16h NTA. This is so unreasonable I can't even get my mind around it. They can't just...be happy for you? Your own PARENTS don't want to be there for your WEDDING? That's cold man. Real cold. Everyone else in your family sounds like a narcissist. This is definitely worth going no contact over

16.

Text - wwynterrstorm • 7h NTA Part of me wants to tell you you should post to everyone in your family and friends exactly why you cant have the wedding. Flat our explain that mommy had to tell you your sisters feelings were hurt because she got left at the alter and now YOU cant have your wedding because it hurts her fee fees so much. I bet everyone else would love to hear about how your wedding is about your sisters feelings. Should you share your birthday now too? Last question: was she they t

17.

Text - 18rfaz • 16h NTA she should be happy for your wedding and get over her own issues. It's sad she got left at the altar but it's still your special day and she shouldn't have any say on how you have it.

18.

Text - Geekrock84 • 15h • Partassipant [1] NTA- I get your sister is hurting but what right does that give her to hint that her sister shouldnt get married or needs ro tone her wedding down to spare her feelings? Hint, it doesnt. Your sister needs to put on her big girl britches, stop being selfish and be happy for you despite what hasnt worked out in her life.

19.

Text - bibidibobby • 15h NTA. Lol you guys are adults. Why's she behaving like a teenager. The world doesn't revolve around her, and 11 months is not that close. Please don't feel guilty about pushing through with your wedding. I get that your sister is grieving, but as a decent sibling, she should be happy or if not, put on a mask for you. Congratulations in advance, OP! Hope you have a beautiful, memorable wedding :)

20.

Text - Labiatae_ • 7h NTA - Even if she was left at the altar ONE MONTH before your wedding, there would be no reason to alter your plans in any way. Your parents are definitely being unreasonable. They don't want to see their own daughter get married? also- i would ask your older brother to walk you down the aisle

21.

Text - misstiff1971 • 15h • Colo-rectal Surgeon [30] NTA, your sister is being obnoxiously selfish and your parents are enabling her. If they want to coddle her, maybe they should all stay home with her the day of your celebration. The world does not revolve around your sister, nor does it stop for her. You need to live your life to the fullest. Do not let them suck one moment of joy out of it for you. (Know that she likely wouldn't have changed a thing for you.)

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