Sunday, April 5, 2020

People's Favorite Jokes That No One Likes


Everyone has a slightly different sense of humor. Sometimes we get hung up on a certain jokes for seemingly no reason, even if they're puns that we can't tell if we love or hate. Some of us are just into Dad jokes because they're stupid an no amount of people hating them will ever make us stop. Here are jokes that people love, despite them never ever getting a laugh.

1.

Text - civilesk 83 points · 15 hours ago What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck Never gets a laugh, only groans and the occasional "I don't get it" but I love it

2.

Text - Gritch 51 points · 13 hours ago What did Spock find in the toilet? The Captain's Log.

3.

Text - thestonez 4.7k points · 17 hours ago Guy yells to a stranger across the river, "I need to get to the other side". Stranger yells back... "You are on the other side".

4.

Text - papahet1 3.9k points · 15 hours ago 3 look up at the ceiling That's a pretty good ceiling. It's not the best, but it's up there.

5.

Text - imabadassinmymind 3.9k points · 16 hours ago S my favourite time on the clock is 6:30. Hands down. SO under appreciated by my husband, family, and friends.

6.

Text - LambentEnigma 2.6k points · 16 hours ago S Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Does everyone want a beer?" The first logician says, "I don't know." The second logician says, "I don't know." The third logician says, "Yes!"

7.

Text - memeorcry 2.3k points · 17 hours ago e Everytime they bleep out someone's last name on tv for anonymity I go "omg I can't believe his name is [insert first name here - Insert any swear word here]" No one else finds it the least bit funny, but I laugh every single time so that's okay

8.

Text - Not_Fission_Chips 2.3k points · 14 hours ago 3 What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Phillipe Floppe.

9.

Text - slekrons 2.3k points · 18 hours ago When musicians perform on stage, the sound bounces around the room off the walls. When a pigeon performs on stage, the sound does not bounce. This is because a coo sticks.

10.

Text - WatchTheBoom 1.9k points · 16 hours ago Why do you never see pigs hiding in trees? Because they're pretty good at it.

11.

Text - TheBalowskiFamily 1.7k points · 16 hours ago Two monkeys are taking a bath and one monkey says "ooh-ooh aah-aah-aah" and the other replies, "just add a little cold water" ha ha ha. My wife HATES this joke.

12.

Text - paulcosmith 1.3k points · 16 hours ago One of my best friends is seven days younger than me. Whenever we disagree on something, I tell her she'll understand when she's my age. She never finds that funny.

13.

Text - A-Sloppy-Shit 963 points 16 hours ago Just blurt out in a group of people "I'm so glad they are back together after all that shit." When someone takes the bait and asks who, you answer My buttcheeks

14.

Text - FrolicWithWombats 784 points · 14 hours ago S A Christmas joke that my parents didn't appreciate: One day an old man and an old woman are walking along when the woman feels something land on her head. "Oh, it's raining." says the woman. The man looks up. "That's not rain, it's snow." he says. They look across the street and see a man walking along. The woman says, "Look, there's OIf the communist. We should ask him what he thinks." So the woman calls to Olf: "Do you think it's raining or

15.

Text - PuddingStomach 711 points · 16 hours ago · edited 8 hours ago When I do an accidental rhyme, I say "I'm a poet and I didn't realise it!" Only I have ever laughed at this..

16.

Text - Algum 644 points · 17 hours ago What's green and smells like red paint? Green paint.

17.

Text - Ultravioletgray 555 points · 16 hours ago I once read a psychology book by that Rorschach guy. What a perv! It was nothing but pictures of my father's penis from cover to cover.

18.

Text - Notyetyeet 527 points · 12 hours ago S I handed my father his 50th birthday card He looks back at me tears in his eyes and says "One was enough"|

19.

Text - pain_in_your_ass 499 points · 15 hours ago Why does an Irish chef only add 239 beans to his soup? [In a thick Irish brogue] Because one more would be too farty! I just get stares, but when I first heard it I laughed so hard I spit out my soup.

20.

Text - VirginiaMitsu 259 points · 15 hours ago "Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms." Follow it up with this knock knock joke: "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "NOT SALLY!"

21.

Text - DiabeticDogMom 233 points · 11 hours ago Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan. My absolute favorite.

22.

Text - Queen_Sun 191 points · 17 hours ago You hear about the constipated accountant? He had to work it out with a pencil

23.

Text - mayor123asdf 116 points · 13 hours ago What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?

24.

Text - THECobaltAzul 110 points · 15 hours ago There were 2 women sitting on a porch one day. The first was explaining all the gifts her husband have her when her kids were born. The first child she got a car. The second, the house they sat on the porch of. The third, a blood diamond necklace. With each explanation the second would reply, "Isn't that nice." The first asked the second what she got when her firstborn was born. The second replied with "Etiquette classes. That way I'd say 'Isnt that

25.

Text - Loki_ofAsgard 86 points · 11 hours ago What do you get when you cross a lion and an octopus? A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funding

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