Thursday, October 29, 2020

Humbling Times People Doubted Their Intelligence


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the humbling times that people were forced to confront the grim reality that their brain activity could be at an all-time low. We've all been there at one point or another. Sometimes, it's as simple as those spontaneous moments that the brain just goes on autopilot, and we do something that makes zero sense at all. 

1.

Text - voice_of_craisin • 23h Me: "Hey, have you seen my glasses?" Her: "Did you check the fridge?" And there they are just like the 100 other times I can't find my glasses. Why do I put them in the fridge? Reply 623 ...

2.

Text - SaucySweatpants • 22h 1 Award My dad is a prankster. When I was about 18 he tried to convince me that Kenny Rogers owned Kroger. And it was really convincing. It didn't help that we called it Krogers with an "s" and not Kroger, which is correct. He kept saying, "He even named it after himself! Kenny Rogers, K. Rogers, Krogers!" It made sense, but knowing my dad my bullshit detector was going off so I announce that l'll find out once and for all and call the local Kroger and ask. I called,

3.

Text - Yukfoot • 1d 1 Award In the army I was learning how Humvees worked. You have to lock the doors from the inside by slamming down a bar. It's called combat locking the door, then you put a padlock on the driver door to secure the Humvee. My squad leader taught me a trick to reach through the window and slam down the bar instead of having to crawl through and reach the bar for each door. Then you just push the window up and you are done. I thought I was high speed when I learned this so the

4.

Text - fantsukissa • 1d 3 Awards I was talking on the phone with my mom. After a while I got frustrated because I couldn't find my phone any where. I told my mom about it and she replied: "wait a second, l'll hang up and then call it so you can find it". I figured out how dumb I was as I was staring the ringing phone in my hand. We had a good laugh about it. But apple really doesn't fall far from the tree. Reply 2.6k ...

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Text - ksinvaSinnekloas • 23h 3 1 Award Found a lost smartphone when walking somewhere. It was the exact same model as my own phone. Dropped it off at the nearest police station so they could contact the owner. Found out later that i had dropped off my own phone in stead of the one i found. Reply 8.1k ...

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Text - theoriginalelmo • 23h 1 Award When after summer vacation i didn't remember how to write a k Edit: wow, thanks for the award!!! Reply 327 ...

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Text - 2 Awards In my kitchen I have one cabinet for bowls and plates and another one for cups. This hasn't changed since moving into the house four years ago. About 75% of the time, I open the wrong cabinet to get what I need. Even when I try really hard to focus on opening the right cabinet, I still regularly get it wrong. That was the final straw that validated my stupidity. Reply 1 2.4k

8.

Text - killmenowplsz • 23h 6 Awards When someone told me they had the same name as me; I said "Really? What's your name?" Needless to say, I felt like dying Reply 10.8k ...

9.

Text - cleanandcozy • 23h During a dental appointment, my dentist asked me to bite down on this little strip of like sand paper? Not sure what it's called exactly, but she says okay now "tap, tap, tap" but while she said it, she motioned with her hands like this: S .. what she meant was tap my teeth down on the sand paper a few times... I took it as okay I'll tap my fingers together - and just mimicked her gesture. She was trying so hard not to laugh at me when I realized what I had done Reply 7

10.

Text - lainelect • 1d 3 Awards One particularly hazy morning I went to the cafe, paid for a cup of coffee, then promptly turned around and walked about a half mile down the block before realizing I never got my coffee. Reply 5.4k ...

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Text - x3Sheets2daWind • 1d F 1 Award I put my phone in the freezer to charge. I remember having the thought that it would actually work. Several hours later, I couldn't find my phone. When someone called me, my brain refused to put together that the reason why my fridge was playing music was that my phone was in it. I just thought it was a feature I had missed. Reply 1 2.9k ...

12.

Text - MHSPres • 23h I was preparing to run a 10K race. It was cool so I was wearing my running suit. Right before I go to the starting line, I'm about to take off the pants and I realize I'm not wearing any shorts underneath. Just Under Armour. I forgot to put them on. Somehow I managed to | set a PR. It's become a running joke (no pun intended) that I make sure l'm wearing shorts. Reply 465 ...

13.

Text - cheezybreazy • 20h I'm from the south and dated a girl when I was younger. First time meeting her mom, in a heavy New York accent, she asked me, "you like dogs?" I said, "no thanks, I'm not hungry." It took me way too long to realize she was talking about the two giant pets they had, which were literally in between us, and not fucking hot dogs. Reply 226 ...

14.

Text - greffedufois • 1d Forgot to check the oven before preheating. Set a forgotten pizza box on fire. Husband will never let me live it down. It was several years ago. Reply 1.6k ...

15.

Text - Moar_Wattz • 1d Went to the store to buy coffee. Got home with pasta, lettuce and milk. I forgot the coffee. Reply 3.4k ...

16.

Text - littleredhoodlum • 1d 1 Award I had swapped a different engine into my car. Got around to the point where I was ready to do start up. Go to fire it up and nothing. Not getting any fuel pressure. Fuel pump was priming, wasn't a leak anywhere. Tear the fuel cell apart. Pull the pump out. Rig up a bucket of fuel test the pump. Seems to be working fine. Put the fuel cell back together. Must be a plugged filter. Pull the filter can blow through it fine shouldn't be stopping the fuel. Finally d

17.

Text - justbringmetacos • 20h I was working with my deaf coworker and the store we worked at was having a sale on airpod pros. I FORGOT he wouldn't be able to use them and was miming to him that he should buy some. He just pointed to his ears and shook his head. Then to make it worse, I kept trying to sign to him that I was sorry and kept signing thank you instead. He at least got a good laugh out of it. Reply 346 ...

18.

Text - therealborkas • 19h I was friends with some twins. I said happy birthday to one of them. The other asked "What about me?" My dumbass: "Oh shit is it your birthday too?" "Yes." "Damn thats crazy yall even have the same birth-oh damn, I am actually stupid." Reply 139 ...

19.

Text - lOughtToBeThrownAway • 1d Since being concussed. I won't say I wasn't stupid before the concussion but I know for sure l'm stupider now and it's a strange sense of loss. Reply 626 ...

20.

Text - moonrakernw • 18h 1 Award I was out clothes shopping when I spotted someone I recognised. We made eye contact and smiled at each other. It was just then I realised I was walking towards a full length mirror. Reply 112 ...

21.

Text - Samaki_Ni_Meli • 1d 1 Award This one time I was asked to ref a football match, was gonna flip a coin to decide which team would start. I asked for a rep from each team, asked the first guy whether he was picking heads or tails. He picked heads. I asked the other guy what he was going to pick. Reply 3.6k

22.

Text - CDC_ • 1d My divorce finalized in early 2017. In late 2017, I got back together with my ex-wife. Sitting across from my ex-wife in a Mexican restaurant in late 2019 after our thousandth argument, I very calmly, but firmly, said "we're the stupidest people on the fucking planet." She agreed. A couple days later she moved out. Reply 1 2.5k ...

23.

Text - cinnapear • 22h 2 Awards I was in my late 30's before I realized you can raise the lever on the toaster to lift up the toast and easily grip it... instead of playing Operation with your fingers and the toaster slots. Reply 1.2k ...

24.

Text - RightHandLeftSide • 1d 1 Award VOTE I once talked to my gf about the impressive records of Cristiano Ronaldo in football; literally in her next sentence she asked: how old is Ronaldo? To which I stupidly replied: who's Ron Aldo?

25.

Text - BOBfrkinSAGET • 1d 1 Award It would've been the mid to late 90's. Hanging out at a friends, listening to records and smoking pot. Friend puts on his new Green Day Dookie album. I definitely know the the lyrics to the song Basket Case and have no issue with singing them with gusto. Me: "Sometimes I give myself the crrreeeps! Sometimes my mom plays tricks oooon me!" My friend: "did you just say 'mom'?" Me: ...yeah Reply 427 ...

26.

Text - Tychillyst • 1d Deployed, heard word of an unidentified drone flying relatively close to our area, so I'm just sitting there staring up at the night sky. I really have never seen a drone during the night time, so I didn't really know what altitude to expect them to be flying at, or if they had lights on, so I was pretty clueless. This dim light catches my eyes as l'm scanning the sky and I focus in on it. The light seems to be getting bigger and bigger, and I couldn't figure out what it w

27.

Text - RevolutionaryPasta • 22h Not me, but my sister. One time, she went to go put a glass of water in the microwave to help keep her food moist, but the glass was too tall. Instead of getting a smaller glass out of the cabinet, she poured half the water out into the sink. The glass still wouldn't fit in the microwave, and she realized after what she had done. Reply 355 ...

28.

Text - Alka1001 • 1d Drove to school in the morning as I was running late but took the bus home. Didn't realise what l'd done until about 5 hours later. Reply 53 ...

29.

Text - kaichoublue • 18h I found a spoon in my freezer and while thinking "hmm why is this spoon in the freezer" | licked it. My tongue got stuck and I pulled the spoon fast off my tongue. I then bled for a while after as I had torn my tongue in several spots. Reply 1 56 ...

30.

Text - Diplodocus114• 19h When I was 15 and my deodorant spray can was blocked. I squinted into the little hole after unblocking and pressed. It worked. I couldnt see from 1 eye for 2 days. Height of stupidity lol, but taught me a valuable lesson. Reply 1 95 ...

31.

Text - ATransposeA • 23h I was 10, at a basketball tournament out of the city. I told my mother I was going to a friends room at the hotel we were staying at. He was 3 floors below the room we were staying in. I got in the elevator, and pressed floor 6. The doors closed and nothing happened. I pressed floor 6 again. Instant panic shot through my body. Pure sweat dripping down my forehead. I was stuck in an elevator. Instantly, I had to shit. I sat on the floor for 10 minutes, accepting that this

32.

Text - Silver_Tongue64 • 22h 1 Award I used to work at a lovely deli around two, three (?) Years ago. Some of the beverages we offered was fresh, hot coffee. A gentleman walked in and asked for a coffee with lots of cream. Not a problem, says I. I pull out the cream, take the lid off, and my boss reminds me to shake it first. Not a problem, I think again, and shake the (open, lidless carton of light cream) sending cream all over the floor, counter, fridge, etc. Everyone in the deli just stopped

33.

Text - tinkrman • 23h This conversation with my boss. "I will be in late tomorrow. T have a doctor's appointment." "Is everything ok?" "Yes, why do you ask?" Reply 1.2k ...

34.

Text - msierk76 • 1d I was shocked to learn that hearts and diamonds are always red cards and spade and clubs are always black in a deck of cards. I was told last night and felt so dumb. I'VE PLAYED POKER! Reply 663

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