Monday, October 12, 2020

Bellyflops, Wins, And Plain Awkward Tinder Moments


You never know what lurks behind that next right swipe. You might run right into an extra cheesy pickup line, or maybe someone who has forfeited all their social decency while using the app. Yes, intentional immaturity and crude one liners would seem to be a common pattern amongst Tinder users. Every now and again people take it seriously and actually get somewhere. Or, even better their cheesy pickup lines actually end up working. 

1.

Text - duck Today 1:17 AM quack quack Quack Quack quack .... Quacki quack quack quack Quack quack quack quack quack quack Honk that's a goose quack quack My cover is blown honk. S.W.A.N. Compromised honk Sent

2.

Eyewear - Jason 28 O TV Legal Coordinator O 2 miles away 6'3 Thats it. Thats my entire personality. Im just 6'3. Am I into sports? 6'3. Whats my favorite movie? 6'3. Do I prefer staying in or going out? 6'3. Favorite Bette Middler movie? First Wives Club, AND 6'3.Am I looking for love or a hookup? Who knows, but what we do know is, 6'3

3.

Text - Hey, so do you think crabs look at humans and think we walk sideways? Today 12:23 Defo not Did you know that their visual field is so complex that it's an inspiration for future robot design? That's pretty fuckin cool, what makes it so complex? Today 12:54 https://www.sciencealert.com Iscientists-map-crabs-vision Today 13:17 Ngl I didn't expect to get actual facts from that opener, so thanks for that . How come you have this crab knowledge? I fucking love crabs, man Type a message.. GIF

4.

Text - ll Vodafone.de G 23 * Ô Game Design Lilemeties dway The great white shark has a mating call that can be heard 40 km away. I have a Tinder profile with a range of 100km. Suck on that you stupid shark and your million years of evolution. Мe: 1 Great White Shark: 0 kinky, Ir em ca'

5.

Text - Today 6:23 PM Lmao. It would have to be an adventure to the beach and boardwalk Today 9:32 PM Sounds lovely. What qualifies as an adventure to u? Honestly if its over half an hour outside doing something in my free time, thats an adventure Today 10:47 PM Valid Valid What qualifies as an adventure to you? At least 2 casualties Sent

6.

Text - Where were you born tho England 0o which part wdym which part??? whole body was born in England

7.

Text - Why did sin and tan not go to the party? Because Cos said no Yep You figured it out in a secant Lmaooooo Wait That was the answer ? Basically, I was gonna say "just cos" but you were close enough Lmaooo That wasn't even close to what I said I wanted to keep the jokes going, not go off on a tangent

8.

Text - What are you looking for on here? Today 11:31 PM Someone to Venmo me For what? School haha Why don't you get a job? Sent

9.

Text - 4:53 1 Dakota Today Hey O what's up? P Report Honestly l'm trying to figure out which state you were named after Do you think it was north dakota Or do you think it was south dakota Or do you think your parents are strong advocates for Dakota reunification Delivered

10.

Text - Sarah Elizabeth Today 5:09 PM Hi Sarah! How are you? Hey! I'm good how are you? I gotta say, i like your name a lot Thanks! You've got a pretty great name too! What's your middle name? Elizabeth If it's Elizabeth, I think we're destined for each other! Well then I think we are! I agree. Let's go to Vegas and make it official!

11.

Text - YOU MATCHED WITH SARAH ON 7/16/20 Dry sense of humor huh? I'll get you some water, you sound a little horse. A Oh man that was bad... I'm sorry haha Wow How could you do something so amazing I knew I needed to give you something you haven't herd before so you'd foal in love. I think these are going to keep getting worse so saddle up. I think you're my soulmate Is that too soon Nah l'll start contacting wedding planners. We can always rein it in if we're having doubts.

12.

Text - Justin YOU MATCHED WITH JUSTIN ON 12/15/17 Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea So tell me, what's it like being colorblind? Sent

13.

Text - 6:45 1 ul LTE Blair Today Not gonna lie, I mostly swiped for your dog P Report I totally understand. I swiped for your hot friends. Deliverec ...

14.

Text - Tuesday 19:34 Roses are red, your name is Ainslie.. My lack of creative pickup lines fkn pains me Today 09:08 Hahaha this actually made me laugh! 95 points for trying when Ainslie rhymes with nothing ahaha. How are you? Your waterfall picture is super cool! Where is that?

15.

Text - Wanna get matching tattoos? Yeah What you wanna get? Wait hear me out. An avocado but cut in half, one of us has the pit the other doesn't. Who gets the pit We can flip a coin or let the artist decide. Sent that's very fair l'm in

16.

Text - YOU MATCHED WITH MIMI ON 9/16/17 if you were a vegetable, you'd be a cutecumber e If I was a vegetable l'd ask you to pull the plug and end my misery Sent Today 8:11 PM omg

17.

Text - Today 17:12 Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Today 17:27 I've already seen your profile Jamie GIF Type a message.

18.

Text - Wednesday 10:24 PM I know this is rly cheesy but l'm just Diana meet you! Wednesday 10:56 PM Haha I actually havent heard that one before Wednesday 11:32 PM So do you not have a bio cause you know we're gonna have chemistry Exactlyyyy. No but I liked your math themed bio Love math Rlyy!? So 10sin^2x+10cos^2x=u U are a 10 Never been hit on with trig identities You've set the standard too high now

19.

Product - Julie Today That's my best opener anyways P Report ((沒溫 =

20.

Product - Hey Hi How are you sexy I'm sure it has to do with my parents. They're pretty good looking. Sent

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