Sunday, September 27, 2020

Tumblr Thread: The Extremely Suspicious Not-Mob Guy


Tumblr kicks around concepts like nobody's business and this looks totally like a show we'd want to watch. And as it turns out, there actually is a hilarious story that's based on a similar concept. For more off-the-wall spinnings of the mind, here are some random funny Tumblr gems to fill those pockets.

1.

Text - urbanfantasyinspiration Follow Ilike the idea of a cop character who looks and acts like he's in the Mob. >He acts SUPER Italian >He always has some cousin that can help them out on a case (either as an informant or they can fix up a car or whatever) and they're all different people, but they're all named Tony >Whenever he's interrogating a suspect he always does borderline mob shit like "it sure would be a shame if something were to happen". >Hair and fashion sense are 10/10 >Slugger >Hi

2.

Text - urbanfantasyinspiration Follow Exactly. And he himself doesn't do anything illegal, he's a good cop, but he still has the same rhythms and mannerisms of a Mafia enforcer. Like, he only listens to Sinatra on stakeouts, he has connections out the wazoo in Little Italy, he's super intimidating and he postures constantly. He has regular dinners with his family, his dad is the patriarch who runs a / completely legitimate/ pizza joint. And the jokes always come from him saying and doing things

3.

Text - urbanfantasyinspiration Follow They bust some punk kid for something like vandalism but the kid is clearly just a good kid who made a mistake, and since the owner isn't pressing charges they let him off with a warning. Vinny gives him a card and puts a hand on his shoulder and goes "Go to this address, ask for Uncle Marco. Tell him Vinny sent you. He'll take care of ya." And his partner is like "did you just recruit him???" But then they go to that address and find out "Uncle Marco" runs

4.

Text - urbanfantasyinspiration Follow I feel I should stress that Vinny never pushes the metaphor. He doesn't act up to mess with people. As far as he's concerned he's just a normal dude. It genuinely doesn't occur to him that people think he's a crook. urbanfantasyinspiration Follow I also like the idea that his vocabulary is stuck in the 1930's. He still calls cars flivvers. He calls baseball Stickball for crying out loud. urbanfantasyinspiration Follow "Hey Vinny, what do you do with your fre

5.

Cartoon - urbanfantasyinspiration Follow soup time Actual photo of Vinny the Mangler urb antasyinspir. ion Follow He's been on the force for years and still nobody knows how many siblings he has urbanfantasyinspiration Follow Also GOD HELP YOU if you call him "Vincent". Only his Nona gets away with calling him that.

6.

Text - doncarlosi Follow "You wanna go sleeping with the fishes tonight? ... My daughter's school is having a sleepover at the aquarium, but they need a couple of extra chaperones.' urbanfantasyinspiration Follow Brilliant addition grimsecret333 Follow I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse... injuries-in-dust Follow Dinner, tonight, with my family. My grandmothers linguini is something you just can't say "no" to. I mean, look at this picture of her. *takes a family photo out of wallet and

7.

Text - injuries-in-dust Follow He visits a newly opened store in the neighbourhood. "Nice place you got here. Would be a real shame if something bad happened to it." Everyone is sweating bullets for five minutes as Vinny walks around the place, slowly, looking at seemingly random things, very closely. Then Vinny hands the owner a report on all the weak points where a potential intruder could gain entry, where a little wiring may not be fully up to code so its a fire hazard, blind spots where sho

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