Tuesday, September 29, 2020

Signs that Kids are Not Smart People


Human beings are amazingly intelligent creatures, but what comes before that is the absolute wildest period of trial and error. Kids are strange and dumb, and while it's not completely their fault, it's hard to ignore. They'll mess up couches, scream for no reason, and demand to touch the stove. There's too much proof that kids are dumb as rocks.

1.

Plant - LIFECYCLE OF A BUBBLE WAND - Purchase bubble wand for 3.99. - Blow bubbles using bubble wand to the magical delight of your child. - Child insists that it's their turn and that they 'can do it' themselves. - Hand bubble wand to child. - Child instantly pours all contents of bubble wand on to the floor. Everyone cries for an hour.

2.

Text - My Dad was tired or having to cut the crust off my bread when I was a kid, so one day he gives me my PB&J with the crust still on it. When I tell him that "it's wrong" because it has the crust, he responds "But don't you want to be a good whistler?" At the time I hadn't learned to whistle yet. He went on, "Think about it, you don't eat your crust and you can't whistle. I DO eat my crust and I CAN whistle." I gasp, "That's true!" and from that day on I ate my crust. (And yes, I am a good w

3.

Text - I was in a class Zoom call when there was a faint thud in the background, my teacher peered off screen for a sec, calmly remarked, "well, my daughter just ran straight into a wall" and continued to tell us about the structure of proteins.

4.

Text - My mother is a university instructor and when I was a kid at night she would tell me go to to bed because she had to do some "grading". I always assumed that she meant "grating" as in grating cheese so l would go to bed excited for all the cheese I would be getting in the morning. I pictured her in the kitchen with just mountains of cheese around her. I never got the grated cheese in the morning but I also never questioned the fact that it wasn't there.

5.

Text - 13m · : Just found out that my son has been telling people got "laid" instead of "laid-off". So there's that.

6.

Text - Justin @Justinkirby · 2h Replying to @side_questress As a father with a six-year-old in e-learning... This is real life. Teacher: "Does anyone have any questions?" - After a Language Arts class My son, promptly unmuting himself: "Why are giraffes so tall?" BRUH. Damn. 1 27 3 41 missionzero0000 @MissionZero0000 2h Your sons asking the real questions 1 27 12

7.

Text - Сосоа Мama @SeauxCocoa Almost 2yr old for sale. Been crying for 10 mins cuz he cant get in the oven with the cornbread. Entertaining all offers. 5/30/18, 6:04 PM 21.1K Retweets 85.9K Likes >

8.

Paper - "I DROPPED THE TOILET PAPER IN THE TOILET BUT THEN I WASHED IT"

9.

Child - Sean said the word...green

10.

Text - 08:59 & ing sky Q% 令all 97% news 21:26 / TODAY Had to text you this as you'd get a laugh out of it. Ivy is upset. She's on the verge of tears. She's sad because she can't watch TV whilst eating her breakfast. "The TV is on!" I tell her. She starts crying. "It's spongebob! You put it on!" I continue. No luck. "I! Can't! See it!" She sobs. "Then look at it??" I suggest. It works. "Oh! There's spongebob! Thank you Daddy" She smiles. She was sat sideways at her table and wasn't turning her he

11.

Text - Dear Willow Meow Me ow meaw Meow Meow Meow Meow MeOWMeon Meow MeoWMeow Meow Meow MOw Meow LOve, Jackson My friend's son wrote their cat a letter from summer camp

12.

Text - Sarah Z @marysuewriter when i was 12 i was obsessively into wicked and i told a girl in my class reading the wizard of oz that it was 'propaganda' 8:51 PM · 10 Sep 20 · Twitter Web App

13.

Text - 5ive @5ive_zw i love how my 7year old nephew spells words. cum in her it is Fun

14.

Text - heythisisbecky: little kids are so creepy example: i have a student who kisses me on the arm every day and whispers, "there, now you'll live until tomorrow" and one day he didn't kiss me and when he came to school the next morning he looked genuinely surprised to see me alive Source: heythisisbecky

15.

Text - • 5 months ago When I was 11, I put rocks in the microwave because I thought it would melt the rocks into lava 686 E 45 ...

16.

Adaptation - h @gothamsbatman Atlantis Dolphin Bay Instructor: "Gently kiss the dolphin" My nephew: ATLANTIS ANTIS i 36.9K 11:58 AM - Jul 28, 2016

17.

Face - I want to be a football. Во

18.

Text - When I was about 3yo, my family moved across the country. They had movers come to pack everything into the truck and, when they were done, my mom found me crying in my bedroom. She asked what was wrong and, through my heavy weeping, I pointed out to her that they forgot to pack my walls.

19.

Text - 100! By I want 100 20llers but not 10O

20.

Text - My kid is crying because he wants 7 to be part of the alphabet. 9:33 PM 9/24/20 · Twitter for iPhone

21.

Comfort food

22.

Text - G Why is bubble bath straberry flavor if you cant drink it - Google Search www.google.com 9:06 AM G I drank bubble bath - Google Search www.google.com 9:05 AM G My toenal hurts - Google Search www.google.com 9:05 AM G what happens if you drink bubble bath - Google Search www.google.com 9:04 AM 9:04 AM G can you drink bubble bath - Google Search www.google.com

23.

Text - Name each of the following shapes. 1) 2) Lulu Maxwell 3) 4) Olivia Quinton

24.

Land vehicle

25.

Exercise machine - MEALTH

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