Tuesday, September 29, 2020

Precious Gems From The World Of Scottish Twitter


Ah, yes, good old Scottish Twitter. It's a world rich in culture, and more than half the time we honestly can't understand what they're trying to say. That doesn't mean that Scottish tweets aren't mad fun to try and read out loud. If you enjoyed this batch of precious gems from the world of Scottish Twitter, we recommend checking out more funnies from Scottish Twitter over here.

1.

Text - Harlot @sharpbyname8 Told my dad I had a missus yesterday and it went Me-dad am with someone. Da- right is he local? M- am with a girl D- sound is she local?

2.

Product - Beth Chisholm @bethchissi They treat their staff like shite, give u 15 min of a break for 9 hours work and if someone drives away withoot paying then it comes off yer wages PrettyLittleThing O @OfficialPLT · 2d OMG There's a service station in Scotland that does all these Slushies NISO TUBBEES

3.

Technology - Сосо @nicole_kennedyy MY DAD IS CANCER FREE !!! Congratul ou icked it Here 4ucking go

4.

Skin - spivs @spivs0 when yer da hears a packet of maltesers open in the back of the car 16:21 · 25/09/2020 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - John Stewart @john_stewart4 If we go back into lockdown does that mean we aw need to start running 5K's again?

6.

Text - Lauryn @LaurynDow Does anyone else only get out eh bed in multiples of 0 or 5, like it gets to 07:21 n am like nah av missed it al get up at 07:25 or am a mad

7.

Text - James Bowes @bowesyy101 Why do I (18) have to pay £1400 a year car insurance on a 1.0 litre can of shite when partially blind Dianne (72) pays £160 a year for a 4.0 litre Volvo tank? Followed her to Tesco's today and 70% of the journey she was on the curb... but I'm the one who is more of a danger?

8.

Text - Daniel Leonard @Daniel_Leonard It's no even a hangover a get anymore it's more lit being a bawhair away fae becoming extinct. Solid 12 hours lying in bed trying to communicate wae god to see if he'll do me a favour n either wipe me out or square me up

9.

Text - jstaunt @JohnnyStaunt Had an absolute reggie blinker, bought Jane a north face jacket, thought it was a bargain at £70 , thought I was buying an 8-10 women's, turns out it was an ages 8-10. Told the girl in shop it was a bday present for my girlfriend too.

10.

Text - DEAN HALLIDAY. @INDYCAMP261115 Just laughed my head off. Seemingly there has been mass cancellation of TV licenses in Scotland and someone said if they come to your door tell them there are 6 people there already... brilliant 16:53 · 17/09/2020 · Twitter Web App 216 Retweets 10 Quote Tweets 608 Likes

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