Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Twitter Thread: Twenty Things To Consider Before Marriage


Saag Jaan's Twitter thread about the crucial things to consider before marriage went viral, and it's no wonder. So many folks can fall prey to the pain of realizations about their partners, that simply came too late into the game. You'd never want to find yourself married to someone, only to realize that if you'd had a few more eye-opening conversations about the heavier topics that really matter in the long run, you'd both have realized things just weren't going to work out. Maybe this list will help couples avoid those unfortunate moments. 

1.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry DONT GET MARRIED BEFORE: a thread

2.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 1. Talk about DEBT

3.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 2. FULLY and WILLINGLY committing to one another. No "im not sure" and "what if's" and "its not the right time." you are either in or you're OUT.

4.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 3. When/how many kids yall want (adoption? are one of you infertile? etc.)

5.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 4. Talking about STDS. Get checked. Seek medical help/informed professional knowledge. Keep those tests up to date and find ways to do so even within the marriage.

6.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 5. Talk about your 5-10 year timeline regarding career/education. Can you move? Willingness to relocate? etc.

7.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 6. Levels of religiosity. Openness to growth? Lack Thereof? Do you share fundamental CORE beliefs about life? VERY important.

8.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 7. Anger managements issues: do one of you struggle? Are you in therapy for it/taking it out on others? Seek help, bc it will destruct you and the future and the children....

9.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 8. Energy. Does it match? you decide. Follow your gut

10.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 9. CLOTHING: it may seem like a small problem but small things eventually ADD up. Make sure your expectations MATCH one another to full comfort.

11.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 10. Sexual compatibility. Not going to go into details, but yall need to be on the same playing field. Consent wise, willingness to try things, traumas, etc... figure it out.

12.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 11. Finances: how do you intend on splitting bills? Gender roles? Taking the parents in during old age? etc.

13.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 12. Age doesn't matter too much. In my experience it's about the person & what their world views are. If you are young, make sure the person you're with will allow you to keep growing at your own pace and in your own way. It's called respect.

14.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 13. Opposite gender boundaries. Set what's okay. What's not okay. Hugs/handshakes/etc. I know it sounds tribal & trust should be there but you'd be surprised what people's boundaries are. Better to know than not know

15.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 14. Social media: believe it or not, people WILL break up over this. Some prefer privacy. Some not. Get on the same page or you'll be clowning on one another.

16.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 15. I mentioned this before, but SAVINGS. How much do y'all have earned & combined? How much is your intended salaries? Is it sustainable? Apartment? House? Condos? Etc. speak futuristically if it's not smthing u can afford right now. Get on the same page.

17.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 16. What is cheating? Entanglements? Define your breaks? Breakups? Etc.

18.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 17. Physical and verbal abuse: what is and isn't considered abusive language and decorum? Seek help, please. Professionals can always step in.

19.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 18. What are your dying wishes? Burial proceedings? What if one of you becomes paralyzed? God parents? Uncertain events? Death? Speak it. Speak on all of it.

20.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 19. Importantly, LOVE is not what keeps relationships going. An active commitment to LOVE, despite the downfalls, keeps it going. Get out the princess-king happily ever after mindset and you'll be fine

21.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry 20. I want everyone to notice how I failed to mention level of education, family or tribal background, ethnicity, job level, & all. It's because none of this matters in the long run. Trust. you ain't a good person based off superficial attributes.

22.

Text - im famous dont talk to me @cxkenobxkerry i never said this would save your marriage. shit happens. life happens. all im saying is to know these things BEFORE you marry or go into a more serious chapter otherwise yo ass gonna look hella bent/ stupid at some point. prevent it lol

Submitted by:

No comments:

Post a Comment