Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Awkward Moments Caught on Tweet


Sometimes we're not so good at making our intentions clear. Awkward moments happen, but that doesn't make it much easier to forgive ourselves for walking into a Subway and confidently asking for a Meatlab FruitLoop. For some more funny stuff, here are funny tweets to give tat day a boost.

1.

Text - I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between "I have to pay a fine" and "I have to pay a fee" and I walked in and firmly stated "I have to pee" and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents), and walked out. This was like three years ago and I still haven't been back,

2.

Text - Just finished a NCAA drug test. I asked Mr. pee pee watcher what the largest penis he has seen at his job. He looked me up and down and said "a lot bigger than that". I did not wake up at 5am to be humiliated like this

3.

Text - R @RyanLangdon_ The elevator doors opened up and a guy walked in the elevator. It was just me and him in there and he said "I love you." And I'm not rude so I said "I love you too". He gave me a weird look and pointed at his Bluetooth.

4.

Text - Lucas @OFLaCar Meant to say "hold on for a second" and "give me a minute" to a customer and it came out as "hold me for a second" what a monday

5.

Text - gym leader khy @KlondikeBrat yesterday at target the cashier said "your receipt is in the bag" andI responded with "you too" so l've been dealing with that for the past 18 hours but I'm slowly coming to terms with it which is cool

6.

Text - rachel @Rachel Bonacci i seriously need a job where i don't have to interact with people. I just asked a table if they were celebrating anything and when they said their dad's bday i brought them a bday table decoration and THEN they decide to tell me he's not coming because he's dead..

7.

Text - maskulla @MakVest I work at a bank and this lady came in with a $150,000 check and to make conversation I was like "oh wow I wish I had one of these" then she deadass was like "it's a life insurance check. I would rather have the person."

8.

Text - Calen @calen Iam at a food truck and this guy walks up and says "I'll have my usual" and the guy working says "I don't know who the hell you are."

9.

Text - xine @xineliza dude at pacsun asked for my number while i was cashing out and i was like oh sorry i'm not really interested hahah and this man looks at me and goes "i meant for the rewards program." why am i the dumbest human being alive 6/27/18, 11:40 AM

10.

Text - mirrortraffic: NEW DEVELOPMENTS apparently my mom is not even home and the person i hear puttering around the house is the carpet cleaning service I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR 20 MINUTES

11.

Text - Just been down Tesco getting a sandwich and some crisps and the lad at the checkout asked if I wanted to go for a drink. I toldhim I've got a fella So was flattered but I couldn't. He said "no, it's part of the meal deal." Never leaving the fucking house again.

12.

Text - Kayne not Kanye @kaynecaraway I blanked when l got to the counter at Starbucks and said "vodka soda" and she said "huh" and I said "huh" and then we stared at each other until I remembered I was there for coffee.

13.

Text - B @BenedictBridget My bf met my family for the first time & we we're playing catch phrase & his word was boner. Instead of skipping it like a normal person he said "something that Bridget gives me" right infront of my father

14.

Text - sav @s_rumer18 at Dick's, it is a habit of mine to ask customers if they want their items in a bag after they check out. today, a woman came up to the register with 2 kayaks to buy. after ringing them up, i looked her dead in the eye and said "would you like these in a bag?"

15.

Text - I was at the airport and the TSA agent told me to scan my license face down, but I just heard "Scan your face down" soI put my face on the scanner and waited. I wish this was a joke but no, it happened and the TSA guy could not stop laughing and now I have to go into witsec.

16.

Text - unclewhiskysrevenge So, I MEANT to say "oh crap, I left my phone in my car," but what I ALMOST said was "oh no, I left my cone in my phar," and damn, wouldn't that have been embarrassing, but I caught myself, and what I ACTUALLY said was "Ah, my fart cone." So anyway

17.

Font - My teacher gave me back some papers and I thought it said "Salsa" and I asked the person next to me why my teacher wrote salsa on my paper and then the person next to me was like "Uhm that says 59/59 not salsa" IM SO FUCKING DUMB Titizenshi Athens and F /hich Was the Be

18.

Text - Sooz @CruisinSoozan While I was out walking the dog, I noticed a neighbour waving at me through their living room window. How nice! Sol waved back rather enthusiastically. She was washing her window.

19.

Text - envyadams: today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said "thanks" and half of me tried to say “you're welcome" and the other half tried to say "no problem" and i ended up saying "your problem"

20.

Text - FinalBawse 194 points · 5 years ago + I once walked into SubWay, asked for a "mootball feetlong", said "shit" directly afterwards, then walked out. I can never go back. Give Award Share Report Save

21.

Text - dr. echo @2earsandaheart Replying to @TheBloggess In college I went to a therapist for the first time & he asked me to tell him about my childhood. I got to "and then my parents got a divorce" & he nodded, writing in his notebook, & echoed "your parents got you a horse." He felt so bad but I couldn't stop laughing for 10 minutes

22.

Text - TechnicallyRon O @TechnicallyRon Went to get a haircut today. Barber: What do you do for a living? Me: I'm a writer, what about you? Barber: . .'m a barber We didn't speak for the rest of the haircut. I am happy to announce that I shall never be interacting with another human being again.

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