Monday, August 24, 2020

Dumb Junk People Believed as Kids


If you're new on the planet, it's extremely easy to mishear something once and have an extremely skewed idea of the world for a few years. Kids are dumb and weird, but usually the grow up into less dumb adults. Sometimes they don't, and people end of hearing the dumbest things ever.

1.

Text - squeakypower 253 points · 2 days ago That since Denver was called the mile high city and airplanes flew a mile up in the air, that the airplane would just land in Denver up in the sky or could run into Denver if they weren't careful

2.

Text - Hysterymystery 17.0k points · 2 days ago 2 2 e2 & 2 More I was just thinking about this today actually. I don't know what reminded me but I'm even a little embarrassed today at how dumb I was. When I was like 7 or 8 I was on a competitive swim team. I was pretty bad at it. I got a lot of participation ribbons, I'll put it that way. One dayI dove in the water and thought "I should try swimming fast today!" So I did and when I poked my head out of the water my coach was standing there looki

3.

Text - juicehouse 15.1k points · 2 days ago i That drinking and driving meant any kind of drinking. WouldLoveToTalk 5.1k points · 2 days ago I would get so nervous when my dad and I would get fast food that a cop would see him drinking his soda and arrest him.

4.

Text - likahduhthehoni 13.9k points · 2 days ago · edited 1 day ago An island was a giant piece of land floating in the осean

5.

Text - rceg 10.5k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago I thought my TV was too small to see adults in shows like Tom and Jerry and the Powerpuff girls.

6.

Text - MiJohan 7.1k points · 2 days ago I had a friend tell me about her sister's birth. She said "her butt was shaved" and for the longest time I thought babies were born with very hairy butts. I didn't realized her mom probably had to be shaved until I was older. I also thought parents had to have sex regularly during a pregnancy to keep the baby fertilized or it would die. I grew up Catholic - we did not speak of The Sex.

7.

Text - Master-Weather-9898 6.9k points · 2 days ago Being fired at work meant you were actually incinerated

8.

Text - Pgwdgn 6.6k points · 2 days ago I thought Barbara Bush was Eve from the Bible. The news said she was the first lady, and I didn't know what else that could mean. And she did look pretty old from my perspective.

9.

Text - thinknu 6.0k points · 2 days ago · edited 1 day ago When I was a little kid and my parents were driving I would see the car in front of us have these rear blinking lights and generally speaking, they always lit up pointing in the direction our car would be turning. How did it always know? I didn't understand what they were for so I thought they were there to give instructions on where to go to the car behind it (us). After all how did my dad always know which road to take get to McDonalds

10.

Text - seesnawsnappy 5.8k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago Escalators would consume me if I didn't step off fast enough

11.

Text - QuarantineTitans 5.6k points · 2 days ago I went to a Catholic elementary school. I was giving a presentation in front of my second grade class regarding how God created the heavens, the earth, the mountains...I never really understood how the timeline worked around all that, I just knew the basic bullet points of the creation story. But then I go on some tangent about how upon the creation of Earth (remember, I didn't understand the timing around it and just winged it), God must have bee

12.

Text - LateEstimate6 4.3k points · 2 days ago My brother is quite a few years older than me and liked to tell me little fibs all the time. Some of the more memorable ones include him telling me that our uncle invented hamburgers, and that lemonade has a little bit of pig pee in it.

13.

Text - thats-my-plan 4.2k points · 2 days ago My parents used to say they worked to make money, so I thought their job was actually printing money.

14.

Text - Porcelain_Peony 3.8k points · 2 days ago That I was the only one in the world with actual thoughts and feelings and everyone else was just part of my reality.

15.

Text - kelsi_rain 2.8k points · 2 days ago 9 The moon was following me...

16.

Text - GeezItsJesus 2.7k points · 2 days ago I thought the term "wind chill factor" was "windshield factor." Like the weatherman was letting you know if you needed to scrape your windshield in the morning.

17.

Text - FluffyTeddid 2.5k points · 2 days ago I used to think germaphobes were just people scared of Germans or Germany

18.

Text - KeyserUnderwood 2.4k points · 2 days ago When I was like 4 or 5, I used to think that when a toy commercial said “batteries not included", it meant batteries not required. I'd often use it as a selling point to convince my mom to but it for me, "Mom! It even says batteries not included!"

19.

Text - Imadvanced 2.4k points · 2 days ago That people would come in the night and cut off any appendages not covered by blankets. I conveniently convinced myself heads didn't count (because that would be too gross).

20.

Text - UwUthanizeMeDaddy 2.4k points · 2 days ago To microwave something you had to put in a code that corresponded with the time. I was really confused when I found out you just entered the time.

21.

Text - UWYO-Agent-7 2.3k points · 2 days ago That when I turned 10, I would be able to see Pokémon in the world. My tenth birthday was a little disappointing

22.

Text - retropomme 1.7k points · 2 days ago i was around 4 or 5, and from my understanding humans were monkeys in the very beginning. i got into a huge argument with a classmate because i was convinced we developed as monkeys in our mother's womb and eventually grew into humans before being born.

23.

Text - cheesiestcake17 1.7k points · 2 days ago I didn't know turn signals were manual, I thought the car just knew where we were going.

24.

Text - Poorly-Drawn-Beagle 1.7k points · 2 days ago After 9/11 I thought we were going to have to invite al-Qaeda over to America for the fight, and they were going to invite us over there to fight, and all the civilians would have to hide in basements while the fighting went on.

25.

Text - EliasDontHurtEm 1.5k points · 2 days ago I thought foie gras was the fake grass they put in Easter baskets. I thought this even when I went into high school. I thought people hated it because it was a messy and useless waste. Like, I honestly just thought vegans were assholes who hated Easter.

26.

Text - Barry_Boots 1.0k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago Erasers, made of rubber, rubber comes from trees. roots=rubber. Pencil lead (graphite) can be converted to diamonds. under intense heat and pressure. Because of this I assumed you would never find diamonds in the dirt near trees because the roots rubber would have erased them.

27.

Text - ResponsibleState4 786 points · 2 days ago I thought salt and pepper cancelled each other out. That is, if you over salted something, adding pepper would return it to normal.

28.

Text - ManaToast 648 points · 2 days ago For a few seconds after you spit you can taste what it lands on.

29.

Text - sunobee 624 points · 2 days ago That Feliz Navidad was a Hanukkah song.

30.

Text - jmglor 612 points · 2 days ago I thought a salad bar was like a candy bar. Like all of the ingredients of a salad smashed into a bar that you held in your hand and ate.

31.

Text - bobhwantstoknow 374 points · 2 days ago I thought that if we had a larger TV I would be able to see more of the scene, but I also understood that if I saw more I would see the edge of the set, light rigging, etc.

32.

Text - kalooboo 366 points · 2 days ago I didn't know the difference between pedestrian and Presbyterian so I thought you had to go to a different church if you didn't have a car.

33.

Text - krizkat 352 points · 2 days ago I thought up until like 3rd grade that we were only learning about one side of the earth and we'd learn about the other half in later grades. I didn't make the connection between the big flat roller map my teacher would pull down across the chalkboard and the round earth everyone kept talking about.

34.

Text - Captain_Coco_Koala 296 points · 2 days ago I thought that a local anesthetic was one made on the premise (hence the name 'local') and it wasn't until I was nearly 20 when I found out the truth. I honestly thought that all hospitals had basements where they made some of the anesthetics.

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