Thursday, June 4, 2020

Weird, Hilarious, And Raunchy Tinder Gems


We're back it again with a fresh and fiery batch of Tinder users breaking out the very best, worst, and raunchiest of their pickup lines. Tinder is the home of people shamelessly dispensing the kind of pickup lines and banter that they'd never use in real life. It's like everyone is caught up in not taking the app too seriously. Oh well, every now and again a connection is formed. In the meanwhile, we can enjoy these. 

1.

Text - Do you like shopping? Yesterday 11:59 PM Depends what I'm shopping for Sent Today 7:58 AM Big sale in my bedroom going on. Clothes are 100% off!

2.

Text - So, you wear socks 99.9% of the time? Based on that percentage, if there are 1440 minutes in 1 day, 1438.56 minutes would be 99.9% of a day. Which means. Unless you take less than 1 minute and 44 seconds to shower, you have revealed to me that you, in fact, shower with your socks on. Is this true? Sent

3.

Text - 00000 Sprint ? 2:08 AM 96% YOU MATCHED WITH ON 9/20/17 please roast me Girl u look roasted enough amazing Today 1:36 AM Roast me back Today 2:05 AM What did the 2 say to the 9 "Please roast me" hahaha Sent

4.

Text - Tamisha YOU MATCHED WITH TAMISHA ON 6/3/20 Hey, I'm jimmy, it's nice "Tamisha." Sent

5.

Text - 00:01 & You swipe right We start chatting There's chemistry We go out We dance We kiss We're in love Life is good A year goes by I propose You say yes We get married We go on our honeymoon We're in Hawaii We go for a hike It's beautiful We've reached the top of a mountain It's actually a volcano I hug you I apologise You're confused "THE ANCIENT ONES DEMAND A SACRIFICE" | shout I throw you in Thunder and lightning fill the sky The ancient ones are happy Life is good.

6.

Text - Wednesday 10:29 PM Did it hurt when you fell out of the vending machine? ?? Because you're a snacc Does that actually work? A shockingly large amount of the time Interesting. Well it didn't work but you're also super cute so hi Windows XP Task failed successfully. OK

7.

Text - YOU MATCHED WITH ARIEL ON 5/22/20 Hii Today 6:11 PM hey whats up Today 8:39 PM Watching my neighbors kids hbu haha same I got new binoculars so its much easier from the window Sent Today 10:04 PM Type a message Send GIF

8.

Text - Наоyu YOU MATCHED WITH HAOYU ON 5/19/17 Hi Today 11:17 PM Hi haoyu doin'? Sent

9.

Text - Jess 22 û legal assistant 8 Bisexual Woman O 9 kilometres away Bis = abbrev for biscuit Exual = Latin for actually Bisexual = "actually a biscuit" In summary, I am a snack. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

10.

Text - ull Sprint LTE 9:57 PM 1 79% YOU MATCHED WITH VICTORIA ON 5/31/20 Yussss we matched I just needed to tell you That you remind me of Squishy from Monsters University

11.

Text - Diana You from here? yeah Nice. Know any good spots for a date? museums Is there one you prefer? art I bet I can guess you're favorite style of art go for it Minimalism Sent 000

12.

Text - Let's role play that we're old best friends who haven't seen eachother in 10 years and are talking for the first time since then You start Today 3:18 PM omfg kenzen?!! wtf i never expected to see you on here! it's been foreverrrr dude. i guess i haven't seen you since the whole Eiffel tower incident lol, how have you been? Who is this? (you're doing great) you don't remember me? olivia we had chem together sophomore year, i was always wearing black jeans and doc martens..ring a bell? ? (t

13.

Text - mils @camiler_h can u imagine how packed trails would be if everyone on tinder who said they liked hiking actually did it

14.

Text - Hi Hey! How are you tonight? Good That's great! You have a great smile Thanks How was your weekend? Boring I'm guessing you didn't have much to do? No Do you need something to do? No How about some anatomy to study? No Imao I mastered my anatomy P Report Because I need you to look at my back after carrying this conversation

15.

Text - Today 4:03 PM Do you know the equation x+u=15? Today 5:04 PM No I'm horrible at math Well I figured it out, and x has to equal 5 cause U is a 1O Today 5:35 PM That's definitely the best pick up line yet, you take the cake GIF Type a message... II

16.

Text - ah YOU MATCHED WITH ON 5/16/19 Did you know the pools on the Titanic still have water in them? Bc theyre underwater? Today 8:50 PM No it's science!!!! Your explanation is too easy Sorry e did i ruin it for ya? Haha No the Titanic is a bad icebreaker anyway... Sent

17.

Text - Anthony YOU MATCHED WITH ANTHONY ON 6/2/19 I have bad news Already? The doctor called Oh no He said I'm suffering from a lack of vitamin U Crazy. Mine just told me the same thing Only I think he said vitamin D

18.

Fun - PS Caroline 22 19 miles away Looking for someone to be my right hand man

19.

Text - Today 08:18 A romantic evening, we go out on a lovely boat ride far from the coast, and enjoy a bottle or two of wine and take in the sunset. I readjust to get more comfortable and my hand falls on yours. Our eyes meet, I lean in, your eyes close as your lips slightly part. Suddenly I hoist you up and toss you over the side. I fire up the boat and abandon you at sea. "There's a fire starting in my heart." I say under my breath as the sun finally sets. Sent

20.

Text - Did we just match?! Is this a moment?! I think it issssssss A moment utterly ruined by me somehow sending you a photo of yourself because I have no idea how to work tinder. Well nice meeting you. Your cat has Voldemort eyes. That's a compliment. Take care Sent

21.

Text - Today 9:01 PM So can I Smash S-ip unlimited soup, salad, and bread-sticks M-ake small talk while we are waiting on our food A-ppreciate the scenery of a fake Italian franchise S-speak like a dumb ass to the dog H-ug. ... naked Sent

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