Sunday, May 17, 2020

Woman's Family Criticizes Fiancé's Income


This woman asked the people of Reddit whether or not she was in the wrong for threatening to ban her family from the wedding. Sounds like the family was being all kinds of toxic, and they were trashing her fiancé's income. 

1.

Text - Text - AITA for telling my family to stay out of me and my fiancé's financial agreement and that if they keep bothering me they can't come to the wedding Not the A-hole So my fiancé and I have a large wealth discrepancy. My grandparents gave me and my sister a large amount of money when they died, and I have a much higher paying job than him. He works just as hard as me, he just gets paid less.

2.

Text - Text - The way our finances work right now is I pay most of our day to day expenses but he gets me nice birthday and Christmas presents. Last Christmas he got me a really beautiful necklace that he wouldn't have been able to afford if I made him pay rent on the apartment. So he contributes just as much as he normally would if he paid rent, but this makes me feel better. The rent doesn't suddenly cost more because he lives here, I was paying it by myself anyway. My parents pestered me and

3.

Text - Text - I called them over Mother's Day, and they spent the whole time asking if I have started making my fiancé pay rent. I finally got sick of it and told them no, to butt out and if they kept pestering me about our personal finances that they couldn't come to the wedding. They had another meltdown and said that I was horrible for even bringing up the possibility that I wouldn't invite them to the wedding. Was that threat too far? My mom called me crying today apologizing and basically g

4.

Text - Text - QueenyVicky • 22h • Asshole Enthusiast [5] NTA why do they think it's okay for them to say things like you should break up with him but it's not okay for you to tell them they won't be invited to a wedding they clearly disapprove of? I wouldn't want someone who clearly isn't happy for me to be at my wedding either. If you're happy in that arrangement, they have absolutely NOTHING to say. horrible

5.

Text - Text - Slutty_Squirrel • 15h If you make so much more... have you thought about a percent system? If you make 80% of the income - you pay 80% of the bills.

6.

Text - Text - Remindme2000 • 20h Just the fact you believe a prenup means lack of trust concerns me. It actually protects you both. I somehow feel like your family may have mentioned them as well. I would sign a prenuptial agreement in a heartbeat. Anyone who would balk at one would make me very concerned.

7.

Text - Text - grumpierolddog • 16h |(f 50) was just divorced and I sure do wish I had a pre nup. I made more than him, in the end. We paid off his student loans, mine were done, I owned a house pre- marriage, he was renting. When divorcing, he got fifty percent of my cal strs teachers retirement and half of our 403 B's even though I put in 60 per cent. He was unemployed numerous times, and quit a job that would have given him the same type of retirement I had. I never saw what a drain he was. I

8.

Text - Text - Remindme2000 • 22h They are afraid you are being used for your money. Of course it isn't any of their business what you do with your money but I am sure you don't want to be blind to someone taking advantage of you either. Love CAN be blind. It maybe prudent to consider a prenup.

9.

Text - Text - ForgottenTroll • 22h • Partassipant [4] NTA. You spoke in anger, but your parents also did not butt out when you told them to.

10.

Text - Text - Rey16 • 22h • Asshole Enthusiast [8] NTA. Your financial arrangement isn't their business. Your fiancé contributes in other ways and that's what works for you. And to be honest, it sounds like part of you being much more well off than him is luck, you just happened to have grandparents that were well-off enough to leave you a large sum of money when they passed. That's something that could have easily been reversed.

11.

Text - Text - this_is_an_alaia• 20h • Asshole Aficionado [15] NAH your parents are concerned about you. From your comments you're not interested in signing anything that protects yourself so your family want to protect you. They're being pushy but it probably comes from a good place

12.

Text - Text - androidis4lyf • 15h • Partassipant [1] NAH. You're upset because, rightfully so, it is your business and it is your choice. However, I am imagining that your parents are coming from a place of love and fear for their daughter, which is a normal parental reaction. Your man is on a good wicket. He doesn't have to pay to live at that level of lifestyle. To be fair, I would consider a prenup, because love can be blind and partnerships can turn sour.

13.

Text - Text - ColorfulToes • 20h NTA It's NBD that you make more than him and cover most of the expenses, regardless of what your family thinks A prenup is a good idea, and it has nothing to do with trust. It's just planning, and it can be fair to both parties. More than half of marriages end in divorce, so you will be against the odds if you stay together. Debt is a big factor. In my state, debt is marital debt no matter who has it, so a spouse can rack up hundreds of thousands in secret debt,

14.

Text - Squish_the_android • 10h • Asshole Enthusiast [9] NAH. They're worried about you and I have a feeling that thier fears are legitimate. Don't be naive. Get a prenup.

15.

Text - Text - theshebeast2050 • 14h • Asshole Enthusiast [6] ESH Contributions arent always monetary. But you invited them into this by telling about about your finances. And his. I'm sure you're fiance doesn't feel good about this right now.

16.

Text - LayleyBean • 14h • Partassipant [1] NAH Family didn't realized realize/listen to your HARD BOUNDARY. You communicated in a way that made it clear it was a hard boundary. They apologized Problem solved. Well done.

17.

Text - Text - ErikaNaumann • 20h NAH They are worried your fiancé is using you for your money. In a previous comment you said you are 100% sure he isn't. Well this is a red flag itself. Never trust anyone 100%. Have you seen the divorce rates and how the usually end up for the person with more money? Yeah not good. No one gets married thinking about divorce and gold diggers, until shit hits the fan. I strongly suggest you read about prenups. I know you won't, and we are all just wasting time. Yo

18.

Text - Text - Horangi1987 • 20h NTA - And, I bet if we flipped the scenario and it was the man paying all the rent, no one would question it at all! I'm in the same scenario, I make 2x what my boyfriend does, and I pay our rent - we're a very happy couple, and I feel very secure knowing that heaven forbid something changed between us, I'm perfectly financially independent. It's Don't let your parents get to you - that is unnecessary stress and strife, and not the way you want to start your new l

19.

Text - andwhatofmywrath • 22h NTA!!! They did not respect your privacy and wishes until you brought up them possibly being unwelcome at your wedding.

20.

Text - Text - brazentory • 17h NTA. Financial arrangements are between the two of you. As long as you both are happy is all that matters. It's none of their business.

21.

Text - Text - 1999falcon • 16h NTA . I would be worried that if they come to the wedding they will be ungracious to your partner and his family but cross that bridge later. My wife earns more than me by multiples , we both work hard , she's smarter than me hence more money. We have been married 30 plus years , love each other and get along great . If it works for you your parents need to suck it up and let's face it if the genders were reversed it would not be such an issue.

22.

Text - Text - cirena • 16h NTA. If you give them this inch, they'll take the whole mile. If they want to come, they can behave like civilized adults and not the town gossip.

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