Saturday, May 30, 2020

Stories of People's Unparalleled Dumbness


Sometimes we don't give people enough credit for how stupid they are all the time, but luckily we have some classic facepalm moments of incompetence to back it up. For more stories of unparalleled dumbness, here are some dumb things people did at stores, as well as some of the dumbest questions people have been asked.

1.

Text - FalseAlarmEveryone 75.8k points · 3 days ago @ Top Comment - 5/15/2020 Award & 10 More "There is a considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists." -Yosemite Park Ranger on why it's hard to design a bear-proof garbage can.

2.

Text - FlyingADesk 23.7k points · 2 days ago I used to work in Banff National Park. One day at the end of the tour I was driving some guests back to their hotel and a woman was adamant that Banff was clearly a very dangerous place to visit since we "just let wild animals run around everywhere! They should be in cages!" Had to fight the urge to throw her off the bus pretty hard. Some other gems that came up in the past include a guests insisting he needed to change money they got in BC to Alberta

3.

Text - rarias89 4.2k points · 2 days ago High school. History. Topic: Titanic. "So the iceberg was about the size of a...um Yes Ms.D "Dont icebergs fall out of the sky" To this day I picure a iceberg the size of a small island falling from the sky being seen for hundreds of miles away like a fuckin meteor.

4.

Text - CTeam19 3.6k points · 2 days ago My Dad is a pesticide investigator for the state and heard this on a complaint: "I set out all these bird feeders and bird baths but not one bird comes to my yard. I bet it is all those pesticides that crop duster is laying down in the field" -- local school board member, as they were standing in her 5 acre yard with 20 or more cats running around.

5.

Text - kattiko 2.6k points · 2 days ago Getting a misdialed call from a random person who gets mad at you because you're not the one he/she was looking for. Happens with me several times a year.

6.

Text - ByTortheman 2.4k points · 2 days ago I work at a restaurant We were low on tomatoes for our tomato soup, so one person grabbed potatoes to see if we could use those instead.

7.

Text - Nacho_7258 2.0k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago "Can I get a medium pizza?" "We actually only have large." "Oh okay. Let me get a small then." "We.... We only sell large pizzas..." "Oh, I see now. I'll go ahead and get the medium then."

8.

Text - Bclay85 42.8k points · 3 days ago I worked at a bank. Mobile depositing had just became a "thing". We received a picture of someones cash for deposit. Yea..

9.

Text - Hypersapien 34.6k points · 2 days ago A woman I used to work with who insisted that any animal could reproduce with any other animal. She believed that sperm from any animal was the same and that DNA was irrelevant. She believed this because she once saw some sickly, possibly deformed puppies and decided that they must have been half dog and half rat.

10.

Text - foolhardyass 25.3k points · 3 days ago The fact Florida had to tell people NOT to shoot at the hurricane. Spajdrastic 14.1k points · 2 days ago Even better, the fact that NOAA even has to have a section on their site explaining why using nuclear weapons against hurricanes is far worse than the worst idea you can possibly imagine.

11.

Text - Daniella42157 25.2k points · 2 days ago One of my nieces had a cold as a toddler and was breathing through her mouth. My ex BIL flipped out because he didn't want her to get carbon monoxide poisoning from breathing through her mouth instead of her nose (the "normal" way)....... O

12.

Text - 40yearoldnoob 21.9k points - 2 days ago On 9/11 the General Manager called his daughter who was attending ASU to wake her up and make sure she saw what was going on. The customer service MANAGER said.. "It won't be on her TV yet, Arizona is 2 hours behind us".

13.

Text - estrogyn 21.5k points · 2 days ago I teach 6th grade. One time a parent came to me after trying to help their child with math homework and asked, "What number is x worth? It feels like it changes with every problem!"

14.

Text - krabbiepatties795 21.1k points · 2 days ago I worked at Little Caesars and we were proofing the dough for pizza. My boss said (at 7pm) that the dough needed to rise for 12 hours, and took out her calculator to do the math. So I said ummm that's gonna be 7am. Then she said the dough will expire in 48 hours and started doing the math again. I told her it would expire two days from now, and she said "that's kinda weird how that works out huh?" I quit shortly after that.

15.

Text - Toadie9622 18.3k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago I'm an insurance claims adjuster. If you truly knew how many stupid drivers you're sharing the road with, you'd never drive again.

16.

Text - pauliep13 12.4k points · 2 days ago I work in highway safety, can confirm. I can no longer count on two hands the number of people I've stopped with in the middle lane of traffic on a freeway, with no bigger problem than a flat tire. When I question them as to why they stopped in the middle of a freeway, the typical answer is either the vehicle wouldn't go any further, or they don't want to damage their rim. I swear to whatever you want me to swear to, people will put the well being of th

17.

Text - sublime81 16.9k points · 2 days ago At the start of working from home due to Covid, I had a few users submit tickets for "connectivity issues". These tickets got through 2 lines of support before landing in my queue. Turns out that the corporate WiFi doesn't follow you home and you need home internet in order to connect to the VPN.

18.

Text - 1921Zeljo 16.8k points · 2 days ago In grade ten, we had a science test, and the teacher gave one point for putting a date on the paper, and one point for your name on the paper..and then there were 98 points for the rest of the test. A guy sitting in front of me got 0.5/100....didnt write the date and only wrote his first name..

19.

Text - replayii 16.1k points · 2 days ago O The woman that called into a radio station to complain about the deer crossing signs on a highway saying that the deer will see the sign and consider this place a safe place to cross the road.

20.

Text - LuckyPhoenix64 16.1k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago In the 80's, A&W attempted to compete with McDonald's "quarter-pounder" burger by selling a "third-pounder" for the same price. The operation failed tremendously, with virtually no one buying the burger. When they surveyed customers for an explanation, the majority of customers responded that they "didn't want to pay the same price for less meat." Their customers genuinely believed that one third was less than one fourth and ref

21.

Text - Sevv2102 14.2k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago Knew a kid who drank bleach to prove it wouldn't kill you. A week later he showed up at school after taking a shot. He said he "proved his point" when the teacher asked why he was bragging about it. Mr Hawk just said “But you cannot argue that without that medical treatment you'd have died though- you even said you have stomach damage and a burn esophagus yourself". This kid was bragging about that. He was not mentally disabled or oth

22.

Text - JMBolsonaro 13.4k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago S Myself, looking for my phone when it was in my hand all the time, then answering a call, and continuing looking for it during the call.

23.

Text - Mtbuhl 13.2k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago When I was in high school, we were reading a short story about what would have happened if the Japanese attacked us back with nuclear weapons after Hiroshima and Nagasaki. A girl in my class raised her hand and said something along the lines of "why does this matter? None of it is real any way". The teacher had to ask her to clarify, but this girl thought WWII and the bombing of Japan were just from a movie and didn't actually happen. T

24.

Text - TrumpHasDementia 12.3k points · 2 days ago A former coworker was talking about how she wanted to go back to school to get her masters' degree because she only had a "bachelorette" degree and wanted more job opportunities. I said, "Do you mean a bachelor's degree?" She INSISTED it was pronounced bachelorette when it was given to a woman. Then she led me back to her office and pointed at her diploma, to the word Baccalaureate, and said, "SEE?! Bachelorette!"

25.

Text - AdalovelaceKing 12.1k points · 2 days ago I once got into an argument with someone over my own name. There are two pronunciations German and English. And they just couldnt accept the fact that I use the english pronunciation despite the fact that we were speaking English and it's what I've used my whole life but nope I was lying to mess with them.

26.

Text - tsword5150 12.1k points · 2 days ago "You know the reason you bury a rattlesnake after you kill it is because bees will eat it, then bees can sting people with rattlesnake venom"- guy I heard constantly trying to pick up women on public transit.

27.

Text - 2112user 9.0k points · 2 days ago I worked with a lady who was remarking on how a friend of hers had lost a bunch of weight. She pondered, "I wonder how many diet cokes she had to drink to do that."

28.

Text - ThatVoiceDude 8.5k points · 2 days ago Customers arguing that their tattoo is backwards while their artist tries to explain that no, your tattoo is fine, it just looks backwards because that's how mirrors work

29.

Text - Chuck_Findlay 7.8k points · 2 days ago I once offered a girl a tuna sandwich, and made a comment about the tuna being dolphin friendly. She then said "I thought tuna fish came from dolphins?".

30.

Text - Geeseinfection 6.6k points · 2 days ago I worked in retail for a few years and it taught me that many people are either incapable or unwilling to read. I have had people walk up to me to ask me how much something is, only for the price tag to be featured prominently on the item. "It's $9.99, ma'am." "HOW DID YOU KNOW?" "It says so on the price tag, ma'am."

31.

Text - Toomanyplantfriends 6.2k points · 2 days ago I used to manage a retail store that sold teen clothing, so as expected, I primarily had teens working for me. One employee came to the back room while I was on break and asked what I was eating. Somehow the topic turned to how I should've brought chicken for lunch because she wanted chicken. I told her I was vegetarian and therefore don't eat meat.... She tells me chicken is NOT meat. It's "poultry", and vegetarians can eat poultry??? She said

32.

Text - WolfeS93 5.6k points · 2 days ago - edited 2 days ago One of my closest friends. Really good guy but well... I'm learning Spanish and I once told him I was reading this Don Quijote book. I complained about how difficult it was because it was written in 1605. And he said “Wait... Spanish existed back then?"

33.

Text - sweatycuntflaps 5.5k points · 2 days ago I had a bald man return a hairdryer because it burnt his head...

34.

Text - inthebathroom101 5.0k points · 2 days ago e Friend of mine showered in cold water for a year cause he never thought of turning the other tap to see what it would do.

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