Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Totally Radical Tumblr Gems That Enrich Existence


Ah, yes, more Tumblr gems that are totally random, occasionally hilarious, often bizarre, and generally able to take any willing mind down deep rabbit holes. Seriously, the minds of Tumblr never fail to offer up new perspectives on popular movies, shows, the realities of life, etc. It's a good time. 

1.

Clip art - airydisc have you guys seen this site where you can craft your own emojis out of other emoji bits (within reason) existentialterror I call this one BE NOT AFRAID kryptonians this emoji was present during the writing of Revelation in the bible

2.

Face - fluent-in-lesbianism While feeding my fish I made a comment to my mom how one is getting a lil chubby and she suggested that maybe the fish was pregnant, but I had to break the news to her that both fish in the tank were boys and she goes "well maybe they're gay, Natalie, did you think about that?" and I swear her tone was so perfectly condescending and KnowingT that for a split second I actually felt bad for judging my fish's relationship before I was like

3.

Text - shinobujacobs people who act like they're too mature for pokemon go honestly all sound like this dril tweet wint Follow @dril mean while, while you were "Gaming ", i tasted 100 different wines in a cave behind a waterfall and cried into a shaman's arms

4.

Text - picsthatmakeyougohmm bbc.co.uk 9. First publication 10. How to be polite and show respect * In the old days of feudal Japan, a samurai warrior would shout You are trying to view Flash content, but you have no Flash plugin installed. hmmm perkeleet-paassani truly ahead of their time

5.

Text - pansexualjamestkirk Can you imagine Pirate King Elizabeth killing people on the high seas and her final words to them are "Say hello to my husband captainlordauditor #the pirate queen kills you and you meet davy jones and he's eagerly like ʻdid elizabeth have a message for me?!' #you flash back to your bewildered last moment #...she said jack is teaching your son to shoot' #'oh god no’ says davy jones Source: pansexualjamestkirk #i love it #i need a whole movie of just that #pirates of th

6.

Text - batmanisagatewaydrug can't wait for the final boss battle of duolingo when you fight the 50 foot owl armed with nothing but your wits, a sword, and your shaky grasp of verb conjugations batmanisagatewaydrug oh my god... duel lingo #duolingo #puns #nice.

7.

Text - generalgrievousdatingsim booty shorts that say "my eyes are down here" on the ass generalgrievousdatingsim full outfit of clothing that all says "my eyes are down here" so you keep looking down until you reach my feet which are wearing these bad boys

8.

Green

9.

Text - generalgrievousdatingsim & then i kick you in the head to make sure i give you a headache even if the shoes don't already and trip and eat shit on the concrete while running away from the cops generalgrievousdatingsim rip to everyone asking me "who hurt you" and telling me "your mind scares me sometimes", but congratulations to the one person who sent me the ask "call that an eyesore", you are the only bitch in this universe i respect Source : generalgrievousdatingsim

10.

Text - stimpoweredgiraffe ok do you guys remember those Capri Sun "RESPECT THE POoUCH, RESPECT IT!" ads where children would deface a Capri Sun pouch in some way and then suffer some karmic punishment thematically connected to the way they disrespected pouch then there were Airheads commercials where eating an airhead would turn your head into a balloon and there were Fruit Gusher ads similar to that except your head turned into an enormous piece of fruit what happened where for this brief perio

11.

Text - azawrites Writing siblings here are actual things that sibling do: -make fun of their parents together -make fun of their other siblings -take each other's clothes -fight over chores -gossip about cousins -watch tv or movies that are appropriate to the youngest sibling -watch tv or movies that are NOT appropriate to the youngest siblings -help with mean teachers -help cheat on assignments for school -BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, WE DO NOT CALL EACH OTHER “BRO" OR “SIS"

12.

Text - bilanzarev so i work at a retirement home and one of the residents heard me saying "mood" all the time and she asked what it meant and now she won't stop saying it another resident fell over and she was just like "mood" spacedijks op you are adding invasive elements to a fragile ecosystem, society is going to collapse because of this doujinshi mood

13.

Text - ABCDEFGHIJKLMN OPQRSTU V V X Y Z the alphabet has been saying "hi" to you all these years. and i bet you didnt even say it back once you piece of shit squirrelgirlv3 Why did you have to draw in the O and P fartgallery to distract everyone from the W

14.

Text - shorthalt if my friend told me they believed they were stuck in a time loop i would simply believe them shorthalt friend: i know this sounds insane i KNOW but i'm TELLING you i've lived this day already SO MANY times and...i think i'm in a time loop me: okay friend: i need you to trust m-okay? me: okay. walk me through the entire day, and everything you've done during the time loop. let me help you break it. dutchbaggery this is why i have a time loop code, which i thought of and have nev

15.

Face - exeggcute about to get on a company-wide zoom call dressed like this because they told us to "dress up in whatever costumes we have lying around." wish me luck

16.

Text - exeggcute Alexa Disney Bluck Panther Dard The Netflix The lfice N the person below me is our HR manager. only like five out of seventy people here are dressed up. having some regrets exeggcute head of our company joined the call extremely late and was like "IS THAT SNAKE?? FROM METAL GEAR???" and played the mgs1 encounter theme through his phone speaker so actually this was the best idea l've ever had in my life

17.

Text - the-swift-tricker twitter: omg Billie Eilish doesn't know who Van Halen is! how can she not know Van Halen? what is wrong with her?! me: what the hell is a Van Halen? the-swift-tricker Smash Mouth @smashmouth We grew up listening to #VanHalen and we're old as fck so why would @billieeilish know who they are? #NoDiss 7:58 AM - Dec 2, 2019 - Twitter Web App 608 Retweets 5.6K Likes once again Smash Mouth proves themselves the true defenders of Generation Z

18.

Text - lieutenant-sapphic shakespeare is not pretentious. fans of shakespeare are pretentious. shakespeare is twelve hundred dirty jokes strung together by increasingly ridiculous plotlines and increasingly homosexual characters. don't let the archaic language fool you QUEER prismatic-bell I had a college professor who took this exact tack. In class we were required to refer to him not as Shakespeare but as "Willy Shakes" and instructed to view him as the bastard love child of Jay-Z and Tim Burt

19.

Text - Weezy. I got to hear stuff like the plotline of Macbeth being described as "so Macbeth was promised to be king by these witches but he was actually a pretty nice guy, and then Lady Macbeth went 'just murder the king, don't be a pussy' and then he just went all Saw on everybody." (Which is actuall...not a bad summary of Macbeth.) I got to introduce the whole class to my theory that Hamlet is actually a black comedy, not a tragedy, and for the first time ever GOT A PROFESSOR TO AGREE WITH M

20.

Text - And I walked out of that class with a far greater understanding and appreciation of Shakespeare than when I went in. Putting him on par with modern-day celebrities and artists somehow made him come alive in a way l'd never seen before even though we were reading the original texts with all the thees and thous. superlucky777boy This is so cool!!! Remember: Shakespeare didn't write for the future, he wrote for the poor masses of his present to keep them entertained and drunk lol Source:azir

21.

Text - possessive-suggestions ..They did what... to you? No. I will make them pay. You're fucking mine. And nobody, nobody, lays a goddamn finger on you. trainthief Me when I get my car back from the mechanics and the adjustment on my seat is all wrong

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