Sunday, April 26, 2020

Adult Life Equivalents Of Calling A Teacher "Mom"


Sometimes brains fart. Yes, sometimes we get caught up in the middle of a moment where our intentions don't align with the words falling out of our mouths. A severe form of miscommunication where things in the brain are misfiring, and we're just basically speaking a ton of nonsense. It's wonderful. At the very least, it'll inspire some laughter as people realize you had no idea what you were saying for a moment. 

1.

Text - [deleted] • 1y 3 6 Awards This happened to a coworker years and years ago. We were tellers at a local bank. Every Christmas we had tiny candy canes to give to the kids of customers. One guy came through with his. With his transactions he had cash back. Teller 1 was helping him. She proceeds to give him his cash in a 100 bill and the candy cane for his kid. He looks at her and says, "Can I have that broken up?" She then proceeds to bash the candy cane to a pulp with my stapler and gives it

2.

Text - Bennnnettttt • 1y Not me, but my mom. She was in a meeting and not paying attention for whatever reason. Then someone asked her a question and she responded with "What's that honey?". Made me crack up for so long.

3.

Text - [deleted] • 1y I've worked in restaurants since I was 16. When I bring someone to a table I say "enjoy." After any drink or plate of food I put down at a table I do the same. Well I guess it was just inevitable that when a man asked me where the washroom was and I directed him that I told him to "enjoy!"

4.

Text - ver03255 • 1y I once called an older female coworker "mom" because she kinda looks (and gives off a vibe) like my mom.

5.

Text - SaysShowUsYourDick • 1y I'm one of those "never save numbers in my phone" kinda guys. When I was in the Army, I was stationed somewhere with a different area code than mine, and got to talking to a local girl. Things were getting heated one night over text, so we were sending raunchy things back and forth. I wasn't paying attention for a moment and sent a message to the wrong person by mistake. My sergeant replied, "Alright, I'm not really into all that, but make sure you show up to forma

6.

Text - TurnAroundUrMyATeam • 1y I once saw a flustered young lawyer address a judge as "Oh Lord." He was a big church person and had kind of fallen into a prayer cadence as he nervously argued. Everyone pretended it had not happened.

7.

Text - ImemokidGtav • 1y 3 1 Award I work in a prison where I have occasionally have a inmate say" alright officer emokid have a good night drive home safe" hit him with the thanks you too... multiple life sentences. My first silver :) thanks ya

8.

Text - ally12321 • 1y 3 1 Award At Dollar Tree the other day my boyfriend walked up to the cashier and she said almost immediately "How was your meal?" and then "Oh! wrong job!"

9.

Text - KnivesForward • 1y 3 1 Award These days I rarely talk on the phone to anyone who isn't family so "love you, bye " is a standard phone call ending. We had some issues at our house last year and I'm pretty sure I told 2 contractors and the insurance adjuster I loved them.

10.

Text - dbrianmorgan • 1y Mixing up text messages between your wife and boss.

11.

Text - mssDMA • 1y 3 1 Award I'm a teacher. I unthinkingly scolded my dog the other day with, "Follow the directions!" We kinda just stared at each other for a second while I realized how ridiculous I sounded.

12.

Text - alison_bee • 1y 3 4 Awards I'm a dental hygienist. my patient was a man who had just turned 91 the day before. instead of saying "happy late birthday!" like a normal fucking human being, I accidentally (and very loudly) said "HAPPY LAST BIRTHDAY!!!!" the look on his face... y'all. this was also my second day at my new job.

13.

Text - MBH2013 • 1y I had a coworker who would jokingly call our chief "big daddy" behind his back. We were all working a little late one night and she let "hey big daddy!" slip as he walked in. To her credit she owned it and now calls him that in regular conversation. Still weird though.

14.

Text - parentaccount1143 • ly My old boss, and my husband's names were one letter apart. (I worked in a daycare, so the owner and all the staff often texted one another to update each other on kids, any issues parents had, and general questions.) My husband was working 3rd, and I was working 1st. We didn't get to see each other much, and most of our conversation was done via text. On my very first week, I was in a rush after getting into work, and texted my husband the same thing I always texted

15.

Text - nice_strada • 1y 3 1 Award Walking up to the wrong car and freaking out when you can't unlock it

16.

Text - SoapyRibnaut • 1y 3 1 Award I was given a lift home by a colleague from work once, and when he stopped to let me out of the car I leaned in for a kiss as it was what I would do to my wife. Thankfully he was looking the other way at the time.

17.

Text - Kutzelberg • 1y 3 2 Awards Once I was in the airport and I went to get a sandwich. I stood at the counter to tell the worker to give me a turkey sandwich, which he prepared. He handed it to me and his co-worker noticed he didn't microwave it, so he extended his hand to me over those glass container thingies,which have food displayed in them, so he can take it to microwave it. I didn't understand why he was extending his hand so I smiled and shook it. He laughed and pointed at my food and

18.

Text - CandacelsHungry • 1y 3 1 Award I alled my housekeeper Daddy instead of Darcy. It was an autocorrect mistake in a text but I didn't notice for 24 hours when I realized she never texted me back. I was absolutely mortified but she thought it was hilarious. When she texted me two weeks later her opening line was "who's your daddy?! 9" - | actually lost my mind in a meeting reading that. She's the sweetest older lady and now my nickname for her is Daddy.

19.

Text - bingobanggo • 1y 1 Award My boss is old enough to be my dad although his kids are younger than me. Sometimes he reminds me of my dad and I have almost told him "oh okay Chip (my Dad's name)" in a sarcastic I don't agree with you tone. Once when we were having a we don't agree about something conversation that had to do with our other leader he slipped and called me his daughters name while giving me advice. He wasn't telling me I had to do what he was saying but was sharing why he thought

20.

Text - Oocanada • 1y 1 Award Handed a 20 to the officer instead of my license last night.

21.

Text - hollymir • 1y 3 1 Award When talking with family we always end our calls with " love you." So l'm on a call with my long time assistant and as the call ends without thinking I say "I lo..." and stop horrified as I couldn't think of how to finish it. Thank God she had a sense of humor. She said, " Aww, come on now, you can say it, go ahead, tell me you love me. So I did and we laughed about for years. п

22.

Text - gazzaskebab • 1y S 2 Awards I have accidentally said "love you" when hanging up on a work call.

23.

Text - amoutoujou • 1y My husband has mixed up my and his sister's name more than once. Also, calling your kids the pet's name.

24.

Text - HHS2019 • 1y Easy: Calling your boss "daddy".

25.

Text - ilovejackiebot • ly 3 1 Award On the way back from a client meeting with one of the partners, he wasn't paying attention when the light turned green and I said "Hey, babe, you gotta go." And then I died.

26.

Text - sofia6664 • 1y 3 1 Award My friend was on a toilet, someone knocked and she said: , Come in!"

27.

Text - Charleroy26 • 1y Calling your wife "Mom" is pretty bad. I did that once almost 20 years ago and the cringe hasn't lessened over time.

28.

Text - [deleted] • 1y 1 Award Does putting vegies in the washing machine instead of the fridge count?

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