Thursday, February 18, 2021

Ridiculous, Random and Stupendous Tumblr Gems


Get a bunch of people spewing words at each other and you're bound to catch some verbal lighting in a bottle. Whether it's people trying to remember the weirdest parts of their childhoods or complete strangers attempting to bond over extremely specific references, tumblr hits hard with the shiny tumblr gems.

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Font - BAD JOKES badjokesbyjeff BY JEFF TIL Albert Einstein was a real person. I had always thought he was only a theoretical physicist. buttergin Follow Jeff please we're begging you to change your url

2.

Font - bardstard u lie down and its like (•) () and thats just how it is ryanthedemiboy You lie on your side and it's just (•)(•) freudiandip what kind of eyes do y'all have

3.

Font - beachdeath speaking of it's been a minute since i spelunked in the baby names discussion facebook group skypevevo the admins of that group banned me because someone asked "good middle names for a kid named saint?" and i answered "bernard" 30,182 notes

4.

Font - panicmoon15 the 7 y/o boy who lives next door doesn't want to go in the house to bed and i just heard his dad use the old "you live under my roof, you live by my rules" and the kid just shouted back "im not under your roof im under the sky and thats god's roof and he wants me to play out for longer!" i can't stop laughing. panicmoon15 update: now he's scootering down the street singing 'we didn't start the fire' while his dad chases him kernelatorsblog chaotic neutral Source: panicmoon15

5.

Font - powerburial would u rather fight a buff nerd or a jock who listens to jazz things to remember: nerd has a lot of pent-up anger, might pretend you are his dad because of the jock's exposure to jazz music, his attack patterns and movements are a lot less predictable sourdoughnibblers Posts That Changed The World

6.

Font - adhd-or-nah Does anyone else do that thing while reading where your eyes are like 3 lines ahead of where your brain is? pommerelates Do you mean skipping to the next paragraph and not being able to stop yourself from reading a few lines but then you have to go back to where you were before and try really hard to read in a linear fashion but it's boring now that you know what happens next? Yes adhd-or-nah oh you are me.

7.

World - adambuffett Follow when the sun hits your laptop screen just right

8.

Product - bamsara Follow you know when you're overwhelmed and you just stand in the middle of your room like this 3. yeah

9.

Product - akiralazuli So I am sitting here playing solitaire on the Linkin Park website, and the computer LOST THE FOUR OF CLUBS! It literally is missing a card! Games - Soutaire CLOse Undo Hint Force Win Restart score 5a5 II TERMS & CONDITIONS // PRIVACV POLICY // AD CHOICES // COOKIE POLICY 9:35 PM S start 10/24/2000 There is nowhere it could be hiding! The four of clubs is just not there! hombredeflorida "WHY ARE YOU PLAYING SOLITAIRE ON THE LINKIN PARK WEBSITE?"

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Product - peniswakt Follow apparently a Tetris battle royale came out, and in addition to that just being funny on its own, we've also got twitch streamers getting pwned by like, retirees who have been playing tetris for the last three and a half decades thetyrannosaur Follow they're getting blown up live by people with handles like 'eileen' and 'lovemykids72' roughkiss Follow That is so incredible. Thank you for this news. 104,634 notes

11.

Font - "If he writes her a few sonnets, he loves her. If he writes her 300 sonnets, he loves sonnets" - my english professor pervocracy I think about this quote all the time and I feel like it explains a lot of things about human behavior

12.

Furniture - wildbeardedbrownmanontheinternet: thegr8stever: S-u-b-u-r-b-a-n-W-a-r: thegrastever: that bench turned into a snow sofa THIS WAS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO SAY SNOWFA AND YOU MISSED IT I regret everything.

13.

Organism - Frequently bought together do not separate them..... overlyactivepingpongball Follow Starter Pokémon in Ohio

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Font - robotsatthedisco you can never lose an argument if you say "shut up nerd" at the end puppytierjade yes you can robotsatthedisco shut up nerd

15.

Rectangle - villneuve open rp Hey can I get seven large cokes and a bbq sauce taahko is pepsi ok villneuve i guess' i said sulking, my amber hued orbs peering down because of gravity taahko "ok.'i hand you seven large cokes and a pepsi

16.

Font - reallyreallyreallytrying "average person eats 3 spiders a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats O spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted Pdominateeye World Heritage Post 250,698 notes A

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Font - grimeclown 3 grimeclown I dont think the joker chemicals really did all that when he fell in. I think he just wanted an excuse to be like that grimeclown Batman pushed him into the joker chemicals by mistake and the chemicals washed off a cool temporary tattoo he'd managed to preserve for a couple weeks by not showering and now hes on a warpath to revenge and chaos 4,037 notes

18.

Font - beyoncescock Follow Jah @Jah2Solid Police got behind me and my next left was the cemetery i turned in that cemetery and he turned in too i went to somebody named Jerry grave & broke down crying l'm sorry Jerry i was in a jam putaqrofthisonmygrave Follow I give anyone reading this permission to use my grave to lie to cops

19.

Water - dailytechnologynews Follow OCEANBIRD This wind powered cargo ship is set to change the way we ship the goods across oceans. The model is very practical and is looking at a possible launch in 2024. https://ift.tt/2MKA9Pb guabirudropout2 Follow Wind powered ships!? What a time to be alive! daco-bromanian Follow we really are in the future

20.

Font - ruinedchildhood s hand Follow Special Instructions: send your cutest delivery boyl twinque ordering pizza so-super-fucking-skinny this is what i do everytime and then last time i did it i got a call from an old chinese man saying "i'm the only one working is it ok if i come" he got a $20 tip

21.

Font - ocbr yesterday this girl in my academic writing class sits down next to me and puts 3 bananas on the desk (which was jarring by itself) and i had two bananas in my backpack so i wanted to see if she would notice if i added those to her banana pile when she wasn't looking and when she finally looked back at the bananas she sighed and said really quietly to herself "oh my god..i have so many..." and put all five of them in her backpack ocbr ok its not that funny classicmeevs It is that f ki

22.

Font - thecheesyllama So in my 3D class there's another kid named Roy, which is my name. Also in 3D class, we aren't allowed to listen to music. So I was talking to our professor and Roy walked by with earbuds in and the professor said "Roy, take those things out of your ears" and I took my hearing aids out of my ears and said "sorry". That is the greatest joke I have ever told and no one laughed and I honestly feel so under appreciated rn. Honestly that joke made being deaf completely worth it

23.

Font - your scribbles. Wow!" yelled Jimmy. "I get to use a calculator on the SAT! I'm going to ace this test!" Jimmy assumed he could get by on the math section of the SAT with only a calculator, blew off all his math classes, and didn't bother to study at all. When test time came, Jimmy realized that there was a lot more to the test than calculators. Jimmy now walks the streets wearing only a garbage bag and bowling shoes. theunofficialunitedstates My SAT prep book is gold tymorrowland i'm jimm

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Font - brainwolves my sister has apparently had to stop playing Skyrim because she stole every book in the game to stock her house so now her house is full of books to the point where it almost breaks the game and every time she tries to read one guards teleport into her home and arrest her aminoasinine Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451 (1953) Source: felwinter 135,491 notes A

25.

Font - napoleonchingon The second best pun l've ever encountered in the wild was when I was walking down the street in a "hip" part of Seattle and saw a couple of Budweiser cans thrown into a bush. And I said to a random stranger walking nearby "damn, the local beer harvest is really poor this year". And the random stranger responded "give it time, they're only buds". theawkwardpincushion why is this the second what the fk could top that

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