Monday, November 16, 2020

Employee Battles Demerit System with Creepy Plant Hunger


Working in an environment with stupid rules is a real bummer. Demerits for having an uncovered coffee? Sounds like the kind of place where you'd want to start eating people's plants. For another bit of workplace revenge, here's a worker who deployed petty revenge on an elevator rule stickler.

1.

Text - r/MaliciousCompliance · Posted by u/MontezMahal 6 days ago 3 4 e 3 3 05 3 May I Suck Your Succulent... oc M So, I worked for this torturous company that was killing me slowly, sort of like a Venus Fly Trap, but worse. The company gave out demerit points for rules that were broken. For instance, if you forgot to put a cover on your coffee mug-2 demerit points. If you forget your gate card 1 demerit.

2.

Text - If you exceeded 5- you attended an hour long video explaining the company's demerit system while sitting next to a F*ckster from HR. Demerits were erased every year on your hiring date, giving you back your squeaky clean slate. No doubt these rules where originally intended for the penal system-aptly named (Penal). Let's say you where getting 6 months of weekly allergy shots. You would be required to bring in ( individual) Doctors's notes, one per visit. I made the horrific mistake of thi

3.

Text - Newt was a dumb ole thing, who was reluctantly placed in HR as a last resort. Newt collected medical notes, and kept track of demerits, earning him the name Demerit Dong. Dong had it out for me, ever since I came up with his nick name, but he hated me more for dodging demerits, and pushing the envelope as far up his but crack as possible. The only thing that pleased Dong more than Demerit's was his nutty office plant collection. Dong would tell you all about his beloved Juniper Bonsai as

4.

Text - He accepted the note and went back to massaging his spider plant. The very next week Dong notifies me I have 3 demerits. WT! I storm into Dong's office, he was tending to his mini cactus trio. I wave a copy of my note. The bastard opens the rule book and points to a line stating that an individual note must be presented for EACH medical visit. Dong finally got me-and that was the end of that....or was it? Dong asked me what I was allergic to. He chuckles, gets up and starts fingering his

5.

Text - "Pica" was my latest affliction. Pica ( an abnormal desire to eat substances, such as DIRT chalk or ash ) not normally eaten. Fast Forward I get a promotion, however due to lack of office space during renovations I get to share a temporary space with Dong, and all his plant children for the next 9 cozy months. No options, no other place to move to, and I was ready! Dong's day would start by finding strategically placed spoons in the dirt of random potted plants. I would say things to Dong

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Text - Some days I would ask him these questions through a dirt stained upper lip. Finale Although it was easy, I got Dong to admit he could have cleared my demerits by resubmitting paper work back to HR, but Dong chose not to do so, instead he told me to go prove it! Sounds easy enough.... I simply explained to the Head of HR... Newt was a great office mate, but I had allergies and a special condition aggravated by any plant that required dirt. All my medical notes were on file to “prove it". D

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Tagged: plants , job , revenge , work , coworkers , lol , funny , weird
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