Thursday, October 22, 2020

Tumblr Thread: Humans Will Pack Bond With Anything


This fun Tumblr thread escalates quickly after a few folks share their hilarious experiences with befriending some of the hard working, earnest Roombas of the world. It considers what it'd look like if there were a knife-wielding Roomba on board a human starship, and all the kinds of chaos that would inevitably ensue. For some more gold from Tumblr check out this Tumblr thread about how humans are weird, durable space orcs.

1.

Text - voidspacer My roomba is scared of thunderstorms I was sitting at my desk just a few minutes ago, drawing, and a really loud crack of thunder went off-no power surges or anything, just thunder-and my roomba fled from its dock and started spinning in circles I currently now have an active roomba sitting quietly on my lap systlin Humans will pack bond with anything. Source: voidspacer

2.

Text - A you-only-liberate-once my host mom in Japan referred to her Roomba as "Roomba-san" and when it would get stuck she would just look over it and softly say “ganbatte, Roomba- san.ganbatte" as it made distressed beeping noises at her whoopsrobots "Ganbatte: Cheer up, Be courageous, Do your best" Source: you-only-liberate-once 151,556 notes

3.

Text - plsdonttakemyadvice Man human imprinting is crazy. My friend's roomba zoomed by me and I got this intense urge to reach down and pat it. Like it's just a machine? But it's a good boy? It spends all day cleaning and sleeping and exploring the house and never complains and it's just so good little robot? Pet robot?? Pet the robot????? Why am I like this??? polysymphonic When I bought my roomba the lady at the store told me that if it breaks within warranty and I send it back to the manufact

4.

Text - sepulchritude on the topic of humans being the intergalactic “hold my beer" species: imagine an alien stepping onto a human starship and seeing a space roomba with a knife duct taped onto it, just wandering around the ship it doesn't have any special intelligence. it's just a normal space roomba. there are other space roombas on the ship and they don't have knives. it's just this one. knife space roomba has full clearance to every room in the ship. occasionally crew members will be talkin

5.

Text - "it doesn't stab very hard, it gets us more than it gets our enemies, and no, but that sounds cool – someone write that down." "but then what is its purpose?" "I don't know," the captain says, leaning down to give the space roomba an affectionate pat. "it just seemed cool" aethersea this is the dumbest idea l've ever heard but I thought about it for five seconds and realized that if I were, say, a random communications officer onboard this ship and someone taped a knife to a roomba it wou

6.

Text - or a truly terrible knock-knock joke every time he managed to nick someone. somethingninga Omg so the ting I typed up might actually happen this is gold petralemaitre I am suddenly astonished that Stabby isn't Farscape canon. 1812 was weird enough. A dearthoughthenightisgone Tre (with Stabby's little charging dock would start accruing cuddly toys and commemorative holo-vids of Stabby's greatest stabs. Its insignia would start off at a fairly low rank, but soon, without anyone every discus

7.

Text - jumpingjacktrash why am i proud of stabby this is irrational roachpatrol like if you're proud of stabby reblog to tape another knife on him

8.

Text - "Yup. Don't leave your humans unsupervised." "I'l uh, take that under advisement." "Seriously. Get a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond with or they will make their own. I mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway, but without any permanent pets they can get... creative. Don't even get me started on the time one of them taped a knife to one of our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby. Three weeks in and when we finally caught the wretched thing, half the hum

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