Sunday, October 11, 2020

Terrific Tumblr Gems From The World's Tumblin Minds


Ah yes, we're back at it again with a fresh collection of Tumblr gems. If there's one thing that we can always count on, it's Tumblr's ability to give us fantastic rabbit holes and strange observations and genuinely humorous insights that we'd otherwise never come across. If you enjoyed this batch of Tumblr gems, check out another gem from Tumblr with this thread about how horse sizes are ridiculous.

1.

Text - catsi.tumblr.com a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her, for some fucking reason "damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp" and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently > D 2 ♡

2.

Text - bloodbending Seguir peter parker in the 2002 movie is fuckin.. incredible. he gets bitten by a fuckin jacked red blue spider and he doesnt say “hey someone should take me to the hospital mayhaps?" he just goes home. then the bite swells to the size of a fuckin jawbreaker but he's like “nah i just need a nap." then he wakes up the next day and discovers that he DOESN'T NEED HIS GLASSES ANYMORE and he has a fuckin six pack. does he flip his entire Fuck? no. he says, “cool." iconic. laughing

3.

Text - maxofs2d Follow you ever think about how “mountain dew" is a really poetic name and how, if someone didn't know what it was, they'd probably guess “some herbal tea made from the finest leaves of the Alps". but instead, it's just, radioactive gamer soda 88,268 notes

4.

Text - malignantlyuselesss dethchilada Bones Malone and the spooky boys. jooshbag "RATTLE 'EM, BOYS!" *the unsettling rattling noises of three skeletons*

5.

Text - REI tilthat Follow TIL that until the mid-twentieth century, golf clubs were not numbered, but had wonderfully funny names: brassies, niblicks, baffies, mashies, jiggers, spoons, and cleeks. via reddit.com thyrell Follow hey guys wanna hear the seven new slurs for british people i just came up with

6.

Text - * HORRORBEEST @flashember i begin typing on an old typewriter, "a werewolf is steering a submarine" but then stop. i crunch up the paper and throw it in the fire. the world isn't ready yet for Captain Harry McHowls, the submarine pilot who is secretly a werewolf hiding from the moon 12:47 PM Oct 13, 2019 Twitter for Android spiderine yes it is a headspace-hotel The world would be so much better if people would just unironically write stuff like this. I'm tired of books that Take Themselve

7.

Text - REI A tilthat TIL on the set of The Princess Bride, André the Giant once "let out a 16 second fart and brought production to a standstill." Nobody. said anything except director Rob Reiner, who said "Are you OK, André?" to which André replied, "I am now boss." via reddit.com lizardsister legends only asexualbrittaperry im crying the lack of a comma meant that for a full minute I interpreted this as him declaring himself the new boss

8.

Text - the-irken-pony Follow Sans is like Perry the Platypus at this point thestarsave44 Follow "A skeleton?" one pupil glows blue SANS THE SKELETON?!?!

9.

Text - ball-e life hack: if someone insults you, just say 'no, l'm not' with a serious face example: 'you're ugly' 'no, I'm not' *walks away*

10.

Text - lesbwian Follow "we're ruining the planet" i'm sorry who is this we i don't recall myself running a billion dollar oil business hardleywhelmed Follow Sometimes I use the keurig and I feel bad but then I remember Just 100 companies responsible for 71% of global emissions

11.

Text - catswithbenefits volleyball is just a more intense version of "don't let the balloon touch the floor isweartotellthetruther I'm sorry but nothing is more intense than "don't let the balloon touch the floor" winnieportleyrind My sister and I used to mix "Don't let the baloon touch the floor" with "the floor is lava" and let me tell you that's a little bit more intense.

12.

Dish - Pizza place at my university offers a "stoner pie" complete with pepperoni, bacon, extra cheese, mozzarella sticks, and French fries. bigwetnose god that sounds so awful give me like 5

13.

Text - afloweroutofstone I wish there was a way to tell companies that I dislike an ad so much that I will actively avoid buying anything from them because of it botprince So slightly unrelated but still relevant, generally when I come across an ad that just really fuckin annoys me for whatever reason l'll go into Google and just type different variations of "I hate 'x' product" like 5 times until googles algorithm picks it up an I never see an ad for that product again. It's amazing. corsont44

14.

Text - 3 chefpyro Want to hear a hot take? chefpyro Despite what modern core nihilism will tell you, the accidental nature and inherent meaninglessness of life as a biological phenomenon does not mean that our efforts are pointless but instead allows us all to determine what we personally desire out of life. It means we are free to pursue what our hearts desire, and so enables each of us to find our own unique meaning. Also love is real. And the majority of people in the world are inherently goo

15.

Text - a-very-large-pile-of-hats i think online class should be like among us, there's an impostor that's not actually a student and tries to sabatoge the rest of the class exel-bobbie that's already how it is a-very-large-pile-of-hats ??elaborate?? official-lucifers-child teachers cgbk10 Correct

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