Sunday, October 18, 2020

Dumb and Bad Life Pro Tips to Not Do


There's a lot of good advice in the form of life pro tips, and that just means that there's gonna be a whole lot more hilariously dumb and bad advice. Whether it's incorrect, dangerous or straight up dumb, there's a lot of bad life tips with zero shame. So if you like being eaten by wild animals and alienating everyone around you, go for it.

1.

Text - Natalie Larson @Natalie_Larson2 Shark week is actually the safest time to go to the beach because all the sharks are busy being on TV >

2.

Text - LifeAdviceLamp @life_lamp If you're being chased by an animal, just lay on the ground for 5 seconds. The 5 second rule will prevent the animal from eating you.

3.

Text - Kyle Y @KylePlantEmoji The cool thing about lying is that if someone says "hey, you lied" you can just lie again and say "no I didn't" Problem solved e 13:34 · 09 Sep 20 · Twitter for Android 28 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 610 Likes Kyle Y @KylePlantEmoji · 2h Replying to @KylePlantEmoji What's their comeback? "That's a lie too"? No it isn't. Boom. I stay winning 4 27 5 223 >

4.

Text - Roxi Horror @roxiqt I don't know if anyone else gets anxious about phone calls but a little tip l've learned is: if there is a phone call that I don't want to make, before I start dialing the number, I carefully hold the phone in my hand & toss it gently into a lake. I hope this advice helps others.

5.

Text - Eden Dranger @Eden_Eats Hey men: Do you dry off your face after a shower with the same towel you use to dry your balls, or do you have a separate ball towel? 8:55 PM 09 Jan 19 Twitter for iPhone 103 Retweets 1,221 Likes latest internet reference Replying to @Eden_Eats You start with the face then head on down. The towel forgets everything by tomorrow.

6.

Hand - Pro Tip: How to avoid hitting your thumb with a hammer

7.

Product - pamcake @banterpapi69_ I put my gum inside this pill bottle so people think I'm taking medications and don't ask for gum. LINE-UP. TYLENOL Extra Strongth

8.

Text - Max Dylan Ash @mynameisntdave you want your dog to take a pill: 1. Get a piece of cheese 2. Eat the cheese for energy 3. Get ready to wrestle your dog

9.

Text - karanbir singh @karanbirtinna If someone tells you that they're fighting depression, be sure to tel them to "cheer up". Maybe they haven't thought of that yet.

10.

Signage - PREVENT LOCK YOUR CAR P TAKE YOUR KEYS HIDE YOUR BELONGINGS E FILL A DECOY PURSE WITH THOUSANDS OF ANGRY, POISONOUS BEES It takes <30 seconds San Francisco Police for thieves to rob your car Departmont

11.

Text - The downstairs neighbor just installed a stripper pole. 6O 169 69 Comm O Like Comment Jay Tautkus Hook a car battery to it

12.

Text - For extra cash consider robbing sex offenders.. their address is easy to find, and.. they can't own guns.. ESTC Modern problems require modern solutions

13.

Text - Borrow money from a pessimist-- they don't expect it back.

14.

Text - we faked a proposal just to get dessert ngertulitan.

15.

Comfort food - Dr. Badvice @BadHealthAdvice Dip your foods in hot oil to lubricate them before you eat. Makes digestion much smoother. GIF

16.

Facial expression - u can't disappoint ur family if you've never made them proud in the first place OPER Open Man Tue-Th M-Sa Sunda

17.

Photo caption - Joe Hendry 20m ·O If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it. #entrepreneur Lyf Haks

18.

Text - S Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween. It's terrible for the environment. Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly.

19.

Text - Sir Michael @Michael1979 Tech tip for people who aren't as tech-savvy as me: When you press the h button on your keyboard, you get a lower-case h. But what if you want an upper-case h? Easy! Just go to the wikipedia page on horses, copy the upper-case h and paste it into your document. Problem solved W Article Talk Horse WIKIPEDIA The Free Encyclopedia Fi Сopy Ctrl+C Search Google for "H" Main page Print... Ctrl+P tion). Contents 3:10 PM Dec 18, 2019 · Twitter Web App 30.9K Retweets 1.4K

20.

Ring - SAVE MONEYONARING BYDATING ONLY MARRIED WOMEN

21.

Text - Jerps @JerpsBerps Life Hack: If you drink nothing but seawater, your body water is now international waters and you can't be charged with a crime. Sure, you'll die of dehydration. But you'll die FREE! 1:19 PM · 07/07/20 · Twitter Web App

22.

Motor vehicle - ... And Local Area Buy Sell Trade Yesterday at 8:00 PM · A 1988 Chevrolet Fire Truck $8,500 When my wife and I matched on Tinder, I knew she was way out of my league. So I took the obvious next step. I bought this 1988 Chevy C7, set her garage on fire, and ran over to play the hero. We're married now so I no longer have a use for it. Is Becky in accounting not noticing your glances? Lady in the coffee shop doesn't flirt back? Let me help with that for only $8500. With only 16,000

23.

Text - Eat a bag of popcorn kernels right before death so your family can eat popcorn after you're creamated.

24.

Text - For anybody with pest issues in their home, I found a solution: Just simply lock your doors. Bugs can't open locked doors because they're dumb as rocks

25.

Food - I was today years old when I found out how broccoli is made.

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