Monday, July 27, 2020

Ridiculous Greentext Story With Infuriating Ending


Why'd they have to do us like that? This greentext story's got the puns and the wordplay and just the kind of frustrating ending that inspires an instinctive, "god dang it." 

1.

Text - 00000 AT&T ? 11:05 AM 11% C boards.4chan.org Вoard lol - Auto v Settings Home : Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)10:45:48 No.13060246 ITT: Stupid relatives and their stupid cars doing stupid things. >Grandma is looking for a 578 KB JPG car >my grandfather has spoiled her sideways for years, always buying a bigger, softer car with each trade in >when he died, she was on a Buick Lacrosse >he also kept up with all the dealership visits, oil changes, and oh by the way he was the one who actually BOUGHT

2.

Text - 00000 AT&T ? 11:05 AM 11% C boards.4chan.org this, power that, moon roof, super dooper radio set) for 7k, two years ago >"barters" down to 5k >grandma what the fuck >then spends the money at the casino in a weekend >a few months later, highschool kid goes off to uni >Grandma sees this as an opportunity to get her car back >She goes on and on about how she misses her Buick that she sold a few months ago >she's genuinely surprised that she can't find a Lacrosse that isn't completely fucked

3.

Text - 00000 AT&T ? 11:05 AM 11% C boards.4chan.org >dealer has a traded in 2010 jetta wagon, says he'll work something out (with a cosignor) for 11.5k >grandma asks my dad to cosign, dad asks me (the "car expert") to weigh in on this, so 68 KB JPG I come along >right off the bat, I can tell this thing is the most basic vehicle that ever sailed to America >keep in mind, the Buick had DVD, navigation, power and heated seats, a moonroof, the works >this thing has exactly nothing >oh by the way did

4.

Text - 0000 AT&T ? 11:05 AM 11% C boards.4chan.org >dad tries to steer her towards an older but really nice looking Cooper (with all the extra shit she's used to) >nope.jpg >ends with her driving this Diesel jetta off while dad is the one making the payments >for a few weeks, things are quiet >l put a post-it note on the dashboard explaining to never put anything but diesel into the car Hang on, one more. : Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)10:50:20 No.13060274 >last week get the call I've been fearing >"a

5.

Text - 00000 AT&T ? 11:05 AM 6% boards.4chan.org gasoline >so she took the pump out of the tank, and literally poured diesel on the hood of her car >she thinks some of it leaked under the hood, because now the drivers side headlight is out >try to explain that maybe it just went out on its own >"anon I'm telling you it has to be that diesel you keep making me put in, it's melting the plastic!" >she's in near hysterics over how this diesel is horrible and she just wants to put normal gas in the c

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