Monday, July 27, 2020

People's Jobs Described as Crimes


With just one or two small details left out, just about any job, even incredibly helpful ones like Librarian or EMT can be described in a criminal light. In a similar vain, here are bad stock photos of people's jobs getting roasted. That's not to say all jobs are super legit, there are definitely some sketchy secrets of various industries.

1.

Text - decembertember 9.7k points · 2 days ago I drive fast and disregard the rules of the road on my way to break into peoples homes and cause immense water damage. Afterwards I tear down their ceilings and drywall, and leave without cleaning anything up. Antwan_Valentino 3.4k points · 2 days ago I will never look at firefighters the same

2.

Text - AnGabhaDubh 3.9k points · 2 days ago I spend somebody else's money.

3.

Text - TriscuitCracker 45.2k points · 2 days ago 7 o & 18 More I work for Comcast. DeathSpiral321 8.9k points · 2 days ago If you're as good at avoiding the cops as Comcast is at avoiding their customers, you'll be just fine.

4.

Text - Danielliam10 22.5k points - 2 days ago I go to people's houses, cover our faces, strap them down, put them in a big truck, then bring them to this large building with lots of diseases and make them go in

5.

Text - tealcandtrip 20.6k points · 2 days ago 2 3 I help people circumvent copyright. I get them loads of free dvds, books, cds, games, and even help them get into parks, zoos, and other venues for free. Don't pay to go to that museum or baseball park. Come see me first. All you have to do is ask and I can probably hook you up with any media that's come out in the last 100 years for free within a couple days. What to look up something you don't want your mom to see? Come and see me. Trying to su

6.

Text - primordialpoop817 19.8k points · 2 days ago & I carefully go into peoples backyards and remove bits of their natural setting while attempting to leave no evidence that anything ever happened.

7.

Text - killi_manja_roo 15.6k points · 2 days ago 3 I heavily drug and paralyze people while wearing pajamas. Fyrrys 4.9k points · 2 days ago Anesthesiologist?

8.

Text - Nihlwi 270 points · 2 days ago S I take people's money to give them a slow and painful death. Job: McDonald's cashier.

9.

Text - Anne-Marith 15.4k points · 2 days ago Prepare and hand instruments to someone to cut into a unconscious person

10.

Text - hBoBh 15.0k points · 2 days ago I hold pets hostage and poke them with needles and only return them if the owner pays me.

11.

Text - very_big_books 12.3k points · 2 days ago I hold children captive while I force them to listen to my annoying voice for hours every day.

12.

Text - throwaway37157941313 12.1k points · 2 days ago I forcibly hold animals down and stab them with sharp objects filled with drugs

13.

Text - rocketsnail1000 7.1k points · 2 days ago Pretending I care about people's day so I can peddle them useless products

14.

Text - young_riddle 6.5k points · 2 days ago Bribe people to teach me information useful to my plans for making a hefty profit in the future. NeoRyu777 2.5k points · 2 days ago College student?

15.

Text - ThePlayfulPython 6.3k points · 2 days ago I help other criminals avoid jail.

16.

Text - Sajivarsson 5.8k points · 2 days ago I'm making sure that the thousands of dead bodies stays in the ground without anyone complaining about their placement.

17.

Text - AnGabhaDubh 3.9k points · 2 days ago I spend somebody else's money. defenselaywer 2.0k points · 2 days ago My ex?

18.

Text - pullingsneakies 3.1k points · 2 days ago I force people to eat and make them strip so I can wash them TalkWolf1200 1.2k points · 2 days ago elderly caretaker? or lotion applyer of the dark wells?

19.

Text - draculabakula 1.7k points · 2 days ago Force children to stay in a small room to do paperwork without paying them

20.

Text - GrumpyOik 1.6k points · 2 days ago First, I spy on things - using lenses and optics to get the best view. Then I try and grow what I've seen, , Once I've got them to grow, I experiment on them, see what is best to kill them. When I know how best to kill them alI, I dispose of the others by burning or steaming them to death.

21.

Text - MarkF6 1.5k points · 2 days ago I sneak in to people hotel rooms while they're not there

22.

Text - MOck_duck 1.4k points · 2 days ago Dismember bodies and sell the meat for consumption

23.

Text - fighting-water 1.0k points · 2 days ago Not me, but someone I know sells drugs.

24.

Text - nickeypants 655 points 2 days ago I calculate the exact bare minimum amount of material that is required to build a bridge so contractors can maximize profits while they make a structure that barely doesn't fall down killing hundreds.

25.

Text - 12yir 440 points · 2 days ago I get paid to visit people's houses at night without waking them up. Rockpup5 293 points · 2 days ago Santa?

26.

Text - 2clumsy 365 points · 2 days ago Make profit off other people's savings

27.

Text - outofthrowaways7 330 points · 2 days ago Take large amounts of children from their homes to a central location to be brainwashed "educated"

28.

Text - gtatz 308 points · 2 days ago I forcefully drag needles along peoples skin with ink so I can put my art on them and they have to live with it forever. Even if they're in pain, I don't stop!

29.

Text - TheBrontosaurus 297 points · 2 days ago A take children away from their parents and give them back when I'm paid.

30.

Text - NarwhalAnusLicker00 280 points · 2 days ago I am involved in a money laundering scheme in which I funnel tens of thousands of my money through a legitimate institution. After a 4 (hopefully not longer) year process, I get a piece of paper with my name on it.

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Tagged: jobs , job , work , creative , crime , lol , funny

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