Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Absurd People Who Didn't Understand Satire


You'd think that in this day and age people would be aware that joke news sites exist, or at least have enough sense to look at the source of a headline. But no, your aunt will still seriously respond to an article from "The Not Real News Times" about how sea world has taught its dolphins to drown children who aren't having enough fun. Anyway here are more absurd individuals who didn't get satire.

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Text - The Onion O @TheOnion - 3m Report: 80% Of Subway Track Repairmen Run Over Each Day bit.ly/ 3ibtkkp O11 t720 153 Chris Replying to @TheOnion That % seems a bit high.

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Job - NASA i THEONION.COM NASA Announces Plans To Launch Chimpanzee Into Sun Haha Comment Share We all should get nuked we r destroying nature like this fuck NASA and fuck whoever supports them 1 35 m Like Reply You sir, just ate The Onion.

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Water - THEONION.COM WHO Warns Covid-19 Could Mean End To Blowing Water Through Pool Noodle Into Friends' Faces O Like Comment A Share ib 3 Very sad that this what they use their "brilliant" minds for 3h Like Reply

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Font - Idiocracy Celebrities Show Solidarity With Protesters By Burning Their Own Homes To The Ground babylonbee.com 6:17 AM - 6/6/20 · Twitter Web App

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Snack - O Like Comment Share Wednesday at 5:07 PM · : Seriously? FRESH OUARANTEED CUNTIL PRINTED DATEO O SEP 2 3E 233 17 1 The Original Caucasian Jack PRIZ INSIDE CARAMEL COATED POPCORN & PEANUTS BABYLONBEE.COM Cracker Jack Changes Name To More Politically Correct Caucasian Jack 4 3 Comments 1 Share O Like Comment A Share

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Photo caption - VACCINE TRUTH MOVEMENT Saturday at 20:42 Is this real? My brother sent it to me. What should we do?? BREAKING NEWS Bill Gates has developed a facial recognition system that can detect unvaccinated individuals. Only way to block is to wear face coverings.

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Text - The Onion O @TheOnion · 2d Toddler Scientists Finally Determine Number Of Peas That Fit Into Ear Canal bit.ly/30sja8N 39 27 497 5,122 Replying to @TheOnion Why would they do this. They're hurting the kid!!

8.

Sky - ... 12 hrs. I Am So Done With 2020.God Has Us! THEONION.COM BREAKING: Millions Of Americans Sucked Out Into Space After NASA Accidentally Open Airlock Above... 4 Comments 1 Share O Like Comment Share

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Media - The Onion O @TheOnion 19h New Environmentally Friendly Burial Involves Having Your Dead Body Eaten By Wealthy German Man With Taste For The Exotic bit.ly/ 2CIKEgj 79 17 571 3,800 Replying to @TheOnion This is AWFUL!! The radical left has agiain ruined a beautiful ceremony. This time it's the ceremony of a burial 18:25 · 29 Jun 20 - Twitter for iPhone >

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Product - 6:03 "0• LTE+ 4 É 81% Tweet The Onion O @TheOnion · 48m Recipe Calls For Banana As If Man Has Access To Fucking Caribbean Street Market bit.ly/2UGİFEN 14 26 27 274 2,411 Alexander @Alexand27506822 Replying to @TheOnion Thats a stupid statement, bananas are accessed wherever there's a supermarket, its globally transported wtf, i aint reading the rest of it... 5:33 p.m. · 14 Jun. 20 · Twitter for Android Tweet your reply

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Dish - How To Make Slow-Cooked Russet Potatoes That Fall Right Off The Bone youtube.com/watch?.. C How To Make Slow-Cooked Russet Potatoes That Fall R. Watch later Share yticecaps Score hidden - 2 minutes ago Potatoes don't even have bones dude. They aren't even animals lol. Reply Give Award Share Report Save

12.

Web page - The Onion ... 43 mins · 0 "The cherub came out perfect this year! Look how tender that cheek meat is." Pope Francis Carves Roast Cherub For Vatican Christmas Dinner VATICAN CITY-After pulling a probe thermometer from its thigh and tasting a piece of crispy golden-brown skin, Pope Francis began carving a... THEONION.COM Like Comment Share and 1.6K others Top Comments - 365 Shares Write a comment... Cherubs aren't real and even if they were Pope Francis wouldn't carve one up. Pretty sur

13.

Text - The Onion @TheOnion · 3h God Recalls Getting Start As Backup Dancer Before Making It Big As Deity bit.ly/2XZdfGi 29 L] 206 1.8K §Sara Rock (not my name..) yet @yT44147231 Replying to @TheOnion That's not god 11:22 AM · Jun 14, 2020 · Twitter Web App

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Cartoon - wait, are they serious??? how does this stem to dangerous anime??? maaaaan if y'all don't sit tf down... THEHARDTIMES.NET Study Warns That 'Avatar: The Last Airbender' Is Gateway Into Harder, More Dangerous Anime 3 Comments 1 Share O Like Comment A Share

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Text - History MetallicA OTOP FLIGHT 1 S COLLEGE THEHARDTIMES.NET i Metallica Sues 8th Grader Over Hand-Drawn Logo on Notebook O Like Comment Share Wow they should be proud an 8th grader liked their music not sue the kid. 15m Like Reply

16.

Text - Tweet The Onion O @TheOnion · 5h Man Can't Wait For Quarantine To End So He Can Finally Take Shower Again bit.ly/37AL4XZ 43 27219 2,595 Replying to @TheOnion Does he suffer from something? He obviously doesnt need the quarentine to end to take a god damn shower. Tweet your reply

17.

Media - un 12 at 9:56 AM • 6 R.i.p my homie curious george NASA i THEONION.COM NASA Announces Plans To Launch Chimpanzee Into Sun 11 1 Comment Like לן Comment Share

18.

Text - Disney announces revolutionary new idea of 4D movies were the actors perform live right in front of you. Hate to break your bubble Disney, but that's been a thing since LONG before movies even existed. 4d 1 like Reply

19.

Text - The Onion O @TheOnion - 1d Manipulative Stepmom Only Married Dad So She Could Take Care Of Him Into Old Age bit.ly/30UgOuu 35 t3 100 O 1.495 Sarah Jefferson @1987sjk Replying to @TheOnion And a son complains about this? Fool. She should get all the inheritance money for having to do this. I would leave that son stranded. 21:59 - 17.06.20 · Twitter for Android THE GR8 NERD @Da_GR8_NERD 1d Replying to @1987sjk and @TheOnion How's that onion taste? I could hear the crunch from here.

20.

Vehicle - October 29 at 3:21 PM · 1 ARE YOU SHITTING ME. always macho 8nr HOTECTION 32 32 PADS SERVIETTES • TOALLAS BABYLONBEE.COM Always Appeals To Men With Pads Featuring Pictures Of Monster Trucks, Pro Wrestlers

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Text - The Onion @TheOnion 1h Study Finds Majority Of Times Either Too Early Or Too Late bit.ly/3eL2RYB 27 101 O 964 Replying to @TheOnion Thats how time works you idiots 1:39 PM · 6/1/20 Twitter for Android

22.

Photo caption - 3h · A Um Nope and NOPE! i THEONION.COM New Environmentally Friendly Burial Involves Having Your Dead Body Eaten By Wealthy Ger.. 13 23 Comments Like ל Comment

23.

Text - ClickHole O @ClickHole · 55m CLICK HOLE An Incredible Prodigy: This 4-Year-Old Wine Taster Just Became The Youngest Person Ever To Pass The Master Sommelier Exam clckhl.co/cHzniB8 27 49 361 Replying to @ClickHole Disgusting. Who allowed this? 9:12 PM · Aug 16, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone

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Text - ClickHole O @ClickHole 16h CLICK HOLE Heartbreaking: When This Man's Wife Gave Birth To A Baby That Looked Exactly Like Him, He Realized That She Had Been Having An Affair With His Twin Brother clckhl.co/Zpric1W O 12 27 167 O 1,652 Replying to @ClickHole and @TheOnion I don't get it, if it looks like him why do they automatically assume it's his brother's baby?

25.

Text - 27 mins i THEONION.COM Chuck E. Cheese's Announces New Lower Prices, But The Restaurants Will Be Dirtier O Like O Comment A Share Is this a real article?????? 11m Like Reply Write a reply... Write a comment... (GIF

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