Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Witty Jokes and Moments that are Technically Accurate


If you don't know the answer to something, why not see if you can get points for just being a smart ass about it? Being technically correct won't make you actually right, and it might make people think you're even dumber than before, but it's still worth a shot. When in doubt, be clever and literal.

1.

Text - Dame @DameCagz YOU CANT BUY HOT POCKETS YOU CAN ONLY BUY COLD POCKETS YOU ARE EXPECTED TO SUPPLY THE HEAT YOURSELF. DONT BELIEVE THE LIES 4:25 AM 3/5/19 · Twitter for iPhone

2.

Product - Hi. Are you still selling that truck? Yes Can you send a picture? Of the truck Dumbass Sorry

3.

Comics - Is this good for wasps? No, it kills them. Can you perform under pressure? No, but I can try Bohemian Rhapsody OPunHubOnline coffee or tea? coffee wrong it's tea My wife is going into labour what should i do? Is this her first child? PunubOreine No, this is her husband What's upstairs? SADANDUSELESS.COM Unfortunately the stairs don't talk. What is your favourite month? July Why july? I didn't lie

4.

Text - hawk @hawktherapper if both basketball teams just worked together they could score so many more points 3,166 2:29 AM - Apr 21, 2014 1,938 people are talking about this <>

5.

Text - luca @Lu_c_a01 serious question here; has anyone ever found a friend through twitter and actually met up with them? 20:41 · 14 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone 4,252 Retweets 76.6K Likes Bonk's Mullet @BonksMullet 1d Replying to @l_u_c_a01 Does my wife count 8 27 8 983 Kevin @AZWildcats9 · 11h If she can do basic math, then I'm sure she counts O 17 17 37 2,124

6.

Chocolate - Michael Barros @BarrosMichael21 My fiancé just asked me to come into the kitchen to see what they made. "It's a couch potato." 4:28 PM · 2020-05-15 · Twitter for iPhone 26K Retweets 132K Likes

7.

Terrestrial animal - Nature Is Scary @Thescarynature_ Komodo Dragon attacks poor goat The Don @JackedYoTweets Did you just assume the goat's economic status? >

8.

Font - Jlon2K @Jlonwavves Three bullets colliding Niall @niallmoran_· 1d These bullets collided in Gallipoli in 1916. The chances of this happening were one in a billion. Name something more unlikely to happen... Show this thread 7:38 pm · 07 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone 3,388 Retweets 37.2K Likes >

9.

Text - (((Sigourney Beaver))) @sigourneybeaver What a terrible gift. John Cena surprises 7-year-old boy with cancer on his birthday winnipegsun.com

10.

Text - MOUNT RUSHMORE, BEFORE IT WAS CARVED ITS NATURAL BEAUTY WAS UNPRESIDENTED

11.

Text - Google translate google ALL NEWS VIDEOS ВОOKS IMAGES English - detected birth control pills Edit Antibabypillen German Feedback

12.

Photo caption - Let this be the hour when we draw swords together. ER TFRONS O reddit Posted in r/nextfuckinglevel

13.

Vehicle - Me: I hit an animal and my car is totalled. Am I covered? Insurance: Yes. What did you hit? Ме: A fish.

14.

Blue - G5 G6 CTRL control now there was a spider on my desk but it's under

15.

Text - Did u know I have atsgama 18:30 Atsmah 18:30 Ahma 18:30 Attsma 18:30 Breathn't 18:30

16.

Cat - CEYO CE AYAK ANAT CAT ALANN UYGUR

17.

Cartoon - Your alarm sound is technically your theme song since it plays at rhe start of every episode AVATAR

18.

Face - Gauri Khan No Hair !!! No makeup !!! Just my photography!!!! Ayeshw V @aw_e_shw Am I the only one who can see her hair?

19.

Text - Sister Derby @Derby30255691 Would you take a bullet for your partner? MOCH A E0 @Mickzo taking things that are not yours is theft > >

20.

Text - Marion I gaymer girl @bardsonly Replying to @2Taurean2U and @coffeespoonie One time a girl i was teaching informed me that lions were her favorite animal, upon being asked why she liked them, she responded with full confidence "they're not hippos" 11:05 AM 5/22/20 · Twitter for Android 90 Retweets 2,815 Likes

21.

Text - Todd Alcott @toddalcott PLANTS: imma wave my genitals in the air HUMANS: mmm fragrant Traducir Tweet 01:21 · 8/5/20 · Twitter Web App

22.

Photo caption - Friend: sorry the juice is a bit warm I didn't put it in the fridge Ме: Be a lot cooler if you did

23.

Furniture - Almost Four Chairs $15 Listed 2 days ago in Brisbane, QLD

24.

Text - mother (i Today 22:09 can you come out? yeah gimme a minute mom, i'm gay i know that silly.come out to the car. car, i'm gay

25.

Text - iris @irispompeii some earrings i ordered on aliexpress never arrived and they asked for photo evidence??? Retake Done

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