Friday, May 1, 2020

Twitter Thread: Pressing Questions From A Six-Year-Old At Bedtime


Kate Bowler shared a thread on many of the ridiculous, burning questions that her six-year-old asks at bedtime. The mind of a kid is a curious thing, filled with wonder, and apt to ask the rest of the world the kinds of questions that we often don't have an answer for. Cause they're complete nonsense, as we know it. 

If you're looking for more hilariously strange moments from kids, check out these funny moments of kids being weird and stupid.

1.

Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Every night, in the sweetest voice, my six year old asks me a question in order to try and stall me from leaving. I commit to documenting these questions every night for the next 30 days because THAT KID HAS GAME.

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Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Tonight: Mom...mom...mom? Mom. Ok, mom. Have you ever eaten a pumpkin? COME BACK. Mom. Have you ever eaten pumpkin seeds? MOM WHAT DO THEY TASTE LIKE!!!!!!!

3.

Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Me: Goodnight sweetie. Him: Mom? Me: no. I love you but no. Him: Are raccoons awake right now? Mom. They can't kill you. MOM. They don't have sharp enough teeth. MOM COME BACK HAVE YOU SEEN THEM IT IS SAFE I AM NOT AFRAID

4.

Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler He just yelled "DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WITH ONE EYE?" into the darkness.

5.

Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Night 3 Boy: Okay mom. Goodnight. Mom, why do you have so much hair? Okay, night. Why is hair made of cylinders? MOM. I want to learn the a-cord-on. A-cordial? ACCORDION. IT GOES LIKE THIS [frantically mimes accordion playing] MOM COME BACK ACCORDIONS ARE MADE OF BEES

6.

Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler He might of said "bees" or "beets" or "beads." | couldn't make it out. He had already been tucked in three times.

7.

Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Night 2 (sorry!) Me: Goodnight sweetie. Him: Do you know any myths...any legends? Me: The legend of the boy who wouldn't go to bed. Goodnight. Him: Oh, oh, oh, do you know this legend? Mom. Come back. MOM. It's about a giant squid. MOM THE SQUID DESTROYED MANY MANY BOATS!

8.

Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Him: goodnight mom. Love you. Me: love you (leaves) Him: (next room) Mom? Is cheese funny? I think it is. I only like STRING cheese....Mom? Mom. MOM. IS GOOGLE A PERSON? AND WAS GOD EVER BORN?!???

9.

Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Me: Goodnight my love. Him: Goodnight mom. This is a good. Me: Yeah? Him: Yes. I'm going to sleep now. Me: Perfect. (leaves) .... Him: DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE LAST MEGALODON? .... Him: (quietly) I think he lives in the ocean. .... Him: THE BACIFIC OCEAN! MOMM. IN A COLD SPOT!

10.

Text - Kate Bowler ФKatecBowler Me: I love you so much. Goodnight sweetie. Him: does Dad have a job? Me: yes. Him: as a ghost pirate? Me: not exactly Him: right right right. That was a long time ago. When you were a kid. In the Civil Wars. Me: goodnight lovie Him: a long, long, long, long.. Me: GOODNIGHT

11.

Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Okay I can hear him in the next room. He is talking about Canada being separate from America as "The Civil Wars." .as a historian...I'm not sure what to say about my job performance.

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Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Him: Night! oh mom, I think this is a new tooth **shows molar. WHAT. Is that a wisdom tooth? hiding alarm** Me: oh dear. you are getting older. Him: OH! can I get my driver's license? Me: you are 6 Him: FINE! so can I stop the tooth from growing so I don't grow up?!

28.

Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Him: Mom, what can I trade you? (shows me my own coin collection) Me: No lovie. Not right now. Night. Him: I'm trading you for this. (hands me my own childhood bear) Me: You're giving me my own stuff back Him: A trade! Choose coin or bear Me: THIS IS A HOSTAGE NEGOTIATION

29.

Text - Kate Bowler @KatecBowler Me: Night love. Him: Can I listen to your heart? Me: Ok **quiet** Him: it's beating fast **quiet** Him: did you love someone so much that your heart stops beating? did you fall over? did you die? or did you just go to sleep? Me: no? Him: SO YOU DIDN'T LOVE SOMEONE?!

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