Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Twitter Thread: Men Of Middle Earth As Bad Exes


Twitter user @AlexArrelia put together an extensive list that features the various men from middle earth as bad exes that "ruined your life." Did she do the dudes from Lord of the Ring justice, or is this just pure blasphemy? You be the judge. 

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Text - Alex Arrelia @AlexArrelia Fuck it. I'm doing it: Men of Middle Earth as bad ex boyfriends who ruined your life: 12:48 PM · 12 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone 16.8K Retweets 57.2K Likes

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Hair - 1:47 57% Thread Alex Arrelia @AlexArrelia Aragorn - has a trust fund, asks you to split dinner anyway because he's “broke" - bad boy aversion to responsi- bility used to be hot, now it's just getting annoying - "shampoo is bad for your hair" GIF ALT Tweet your reply II

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Text - 1:47 M 57% Thread Alex Arrelia @AlexArrelia Sam: - really affectionate, but if you don't text back he melts down - won't let you buy non-organic produce - his best friend is your best friend now, you're the third wheel on all your dates GIF ALT Samwise the Brave 12:54 PM 12 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone 273 Retweets 9,189 Likes Tweet your reply II

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Text - 1:47 M 么插三57% Thread Alex Arrelia @AlexArrelia Legolas: - will not tell anyone you're dating so he can keep his options open - steals your hair products - complains when he sees girls wearing Thrasher tees GIF ALT 12:56 PM 12 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone 349 Retweets 8,967 Likes Tweet your reply II

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Text - 1:47 列三57% Thread Alex Arrelia @AlexArrelia Gimli: - used to be fun but you never leave the house anymore - if you talk during a football game you're dead to him enormous family who won't stop asking when you're going to have kids Certainty of death... Small chance of success... GIF ALT 12:58 PM 12 May 20 Twitter for iPhone 158 Retweets 7,319 Likes Tweet your reply II

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Text - 1:47 Thread Alex Arrelia @AlexArrelia Eomer: - only drinks craft beer and he will not shut up about it - has confused brooding with having a personality - not so much a "boyfriend" as the hot mistake you keep making over and over and over... GIF ALT 1:00 PM 12 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone Tweet your reply II

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Text - 1:47 ON 3 E ll 57%| Thread Alex Arrelia @AlexArrelia Faramir: - more baggage than the overhead compartment of a 747 - really sweet but cannot get his shit together - all that vanilla sex is starting to get real boring GIF ALT 1:02 PM · 12 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone 243 Retweets 8,207 Likes Tweet your reply II

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Text - 1:47 刘三57% Thread Alex Arrelia @AlexArrelia Merry - complete burn out - banter is fun only until you realize your entire relationship is based on antagonism - he is going to get you into serious trouble one day GIF ALT THIS, MY FRIEND, IS A PINT. 1:05 PM · 12 May 20 Twitter for iPhone 149 Retweets 6,738 Likes Tweet your reply II

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Text - 1:48 Thread Alex Arrelia @AlexArrelia Pippin - secret artistic side kinda not making up for what a clown he is |- caves instantly to peer pressure - you can't leave him unsupervised for like a second GIF ALT 1:07 PM · 12 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone 207 Retweets 7,335 Likes Tweet your reply II

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Text - 1:48 ON 3 E ll 57%| Thread Alex Arrelia @AlexArrelia Boromir - horrible combination of inferiority complex and fragile ego - has never heard the word "no" - really, really thinks getting married will fix your relationship problems? GIF ALT 1:10 PM 12 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone 196 Retweets 7,163 Likes Tweet your reply II ४

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Text - 1:49 Thread Alex Arrelia @AlexArrelia The Witch King - despite obvious predilection for gender-bending, doesn't respect anyone else's pronouns - listens to screamo at ear splitting volumes - won't post photos of you together on Insta bc you're bad for his aesthetic GIF ALT 2:05 PM 12 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone Tweet your reply II

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Text - 1:50 然列场 * al 56% Thread Alex Arrelia @AlexArrelia Last by special request, Thorin: - historical figure he relates to most is Lord Byron - needs constant reassurance that he's hotter than your exes - won't just come out and call you a gold digger, but he's thinking it GIF ALT 'majestic gratitude 2:18 PM · 12 May 20 · Twitter for iPhone 263 Retweets 7.793 Likes Tweet your reply II

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