Sunday, May 24, 2020

Random Tumblr Jewels To Occupy Existence With


Tumblr continues to churn up all kinds of silly, hilarious, strange, and just plain old random thoughts. We love it. It seems to be a wonderful place that reflects how strange us human beings, and all of our thoughts are. And the people that frequent Tumblr share those thoughts with a reckless abandon. So, we're left with steady streams of hilariously bizarre thoughts, fandoms, conspiracies, etc. 

If this collection of Tumblr gems got you going, then check out this fun Tumblr thread about how magenta isn't a real color, after all.

1.

Cartoon - bryko-deactivated20170127 NICKELODEON watch his hair blatantly intersect with the lockers radiant-array my college animation professor worked on jimmy neutron and he was just like "listen yeah we knew and we just didn't have the time or money to care". the power would go out at the studio at least once a week and they would just have to leave until it came on the next day. jimmy neutron's production team saw some shit sealand-gov I had a guest speaker come to my class that worked on Ji

2.

Text - mydearestmonster Werewolf: *transforming* You have to go, now! I don't want you to see me like this... Human s/o: Don't push me away! I'm not afraid of you! Werewolf: No no l'm just really dumb as a wolf and I don't want you to see me bark at a mirror for two hours dirtymonsterconfessions #monster imagine #DON'T LOOK AT ME IM A MONSTER this does not spark joy #IF YOU RECORD ME SCREAMING IN THE BATHTUB AGAIN IM GONNA CRY this sparks joy How could you hide this beautiful thing in the tags?

3.

Text - gayspaceagenda GAY r/Jokes · 5h u/OneChrononOfPlancks Since Vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don't just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why so many Vampires are from Europe... Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa 1 448 27 Share red-faced-wolf I hate it. Bad post. Horrible. Have a terrible day scienceandfandoms I love it. Great post. Fantastic. Have a wonderful day banjo-gk I read it. Re

4.

Text - skywitchmaja when you're out at a restaurant or a coffee shop or a target or whatever with your friends and you overhearleavesdrop the same snippet of some stranger's conversation, and you look at each other for a second to check that you both heard this stranger say the same weird/funny/baffling thing and just break out in knowing grins and quiet laughter... that's a love language blooming-conifers I was eating alone at a mexican restaurant once and a group of college kids were chatting

5.

Text - castlestark: I can't wait until our generation becomes teachers that actually know how to make a video full screen and get the god damn cursor out of the way Lol *cut to 15 years later* "Miss, you have to make the hologram 3D." "What? Hold on, I'm trying to full screen this. Where's the cursor?" "There is no cursor, Miss. Flick your wrist to make the hologram 3D." "And that'll fullscreen it?" *entire class sighs*

6.

Text - humble-rose Just because l treat you right doesn't mean l'm the one. I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do. will-x-vi Fuck. This is the realest shit l've read today. Like it's ok to feel special to be treated nice but you have to remember that you deserve that. You SHOULD be treated well. Don't latch onto someone just because they're doing what should be required. Acknowledge it and keep it flowing

7.

Text - moistmailman Follow Everything l've learned about Elon Musk has been completely against my will. #elon musk 50,283 notes

8.

Text - vangoghismyboyfriend: until i was like 12 i was vegan bc my parents were too and one time in like my fifth grade science class we had to draw pictures of carnivores, omnivores, herbivores, etc and like 5 kids drew a picture of me for herbivore and that was the moment i realized i hated public school

9.

Cartoon - Ishould have prayed to the ancestors for luck. How lucky can they be? They're dead. That grandma took none of the shit. Team Grandma

10.

Text - bagleopard: the lady at the sandwich shop today was like "that'll be 4.20 luv, would you like it toasted?" and i nodded and said “blaze it" and the guy working the sandwich toaster lost it

11.

Text - O deaddogsoup i think the crux of human misery stems from the fact that our skeleton just wants to sit around and accumulate dust in an ancient barrow (that is the innate imperative of all skeletal remains in-case you didn't know) but our meat has its own agenda which creates this fundamental conflict of interests sonypraystation my organs keep whining about self preservation , my bones? playing the waiting game jeremiahdogsbreath There is comfort in knowing the bones will win

12.

Text - infinite-chump The best visual gag in any piece of media was the giant vault door concealing a normal-sized door in Portal 2 infinite-chump Actually the best joke of all time period was also in Portal 2 and it's when Glados says "Well, this is the part where he kills us" and Wheatley follows up "Hello, this is the part where I kill you!" and the chapter card pops up reading "Chapter 9: The Part Where He Kills You" and then you unlock the achievement "The part where he kills you" and the a

13.

Text - burger king is offering a 1 cent whopper through their mobile app if you unlock the coupon while at a mcdonald's all cricket LTE 9:02 AM @ 1 100% BURGER KING THE WHOPPER DETOUR Order a Whopper for 1¢ Unlock by going near a McDonald's Mobile Order Only gayvian why does the burger king app have quests

14.

Text - YOU WILL LIVE TO SEE MAN MADE HORRORS BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION -Tesla- A quote made by Nikola Tesla shortly before his death in 1943. turnipfritters 38 years later the McRib was introduced snaxattacks Booty shorts with this on the ass??

15.

Text - fandomstuck: do you ever get so frustrated with a video game that you are no longer rational and you start literally jumping into pits because maybe thats the fucking solution to this bullshit of a dungeon puzzle

16.

Text - andrastesflamingace s frompawntoqueen Follow Peter Alexander Yesterday at 6:16 AM 2 1960 with a high-school diploma: "Here's your job, which is totally capable of supporting a 5 person family and owning a home" 1960 with a college degree: "Here's a giant bag of money and a cadre of people to jerk you off for the rest of your life, congratulations!" 2017 with two bachelors degrees, a masters, a trade and experience: "You might have to just work at Walmart for a while, at least you don't li

17.

Text - * babyitaliano My blog policy is If you see something, say something babyitaliano |T-Mobile Wi-Fi 10:05 PM @ 1 29% 1 note smackmydickup i saw a frog on the sidewalk today Outstanding. This is what l'm talking about people. 94,418 notes

18.

Text - fan-art-ic My art history teacher is like "there were ZERO women artists during the renaissance well there was Sofonisba but that's it" and I'm STEAMING bc there WERE more female artists during the Renaissance and I KNOW this bc I spent hours researching women artists in the Renaissance so I could figure out what to name my girl ninja turtle oc when I was 11

19.

Text - curemofumofu plankton built his computer wife so he's also the one who programmed her personality. plankton made a wife who would belittle and mock him. plankton has a humiliation fetish luvuv Sometimes we have thoughts but we don't have to share them with everyone and put them out into the world. Just a suggestion.

20.

Text - tredlocity we all laugh at guy fieri, smash mouth and the shrek movie series, but we also all collectively agree that their existence makes the world a better place steakplissken The king laughs at the jester, but values his wit and honesty Source: tredlocity 4,788 notes

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