Saturday, January 23, 2021

Most Obvious Lies People Were Ever Told


The thing about crossing paths with a pathological liar is that they're so caught up in the process of keeping up with their various lies that at some point they seem to start believing them, themselves. It's both a disheartening and vaguely humorous situation to come across. On the one hand you can feel that compulsion to snap them out of their obvious game of lying to everyone they cross paths with, but you also don't want to be the truth-telling straw that broke the camel's back. 

For some more juicy content on liars check out the triumphant times that liars got called out

1.

Text - lurkity_mclurkington · 21h 2 3 8 7 Awards When a co-worker told my own story back to me as his own. Twice. Reply 4 12.2k 3 ...

2.

Text - Monkey-Tamer · 22h When I was a public defender my dipshit client called up his victim from the jail phone the night before his trial. He said kill repeatedly in an attempt to intimidate her. When I was telling him how stupid this was his excuse was that he was watching Kill Bill and someone changed the channel on the cell block communal TV. That dumbass is now doing 28 years in prison. O QReply 1.6k 3 ...

3.

Text - fritzj • 22h When my friend was an infant, her mother put her 2- year-old sibling in her crib while the mom left the room briefly. When mom came back, my friend was crying and had teeth marks on her forehead. When mom asked the older sibling what happened, she calmly said, "She bit herself." Reply 1 1.8k 3 •..

4.

Yellow - Malzun • 23h S 8 15 Awards "We're not playing favorites." Reply 25.6k ...

5.

Text - LaLionneEcossaise · 21h 5 Awards I speak French, though l'm losing it from lack of use. But one of my college guy friends started dating a girl "from France." He was all excited because she could talk to me in her native language and I could help translate. So he brought her to a party at my sorority house and introduced us. I greeted her in French with a very simple, "bonjour, bienvenue, comment ça va" which is just hi, welcome, how are you. Blank stare and red face in response. She then

6.

Text - He looked at her and she just turned and left. He followed then returned a bit later and said he had caught up to her and she started screaming at him in perfect Midwestern accented English that he was a jerk for setting her up to look like a fool. He had genuinely been excited that he could introduce her to someone she could talk to so he was blown away by her accusations and then angry that she lied. She apparently felt faking an accent would make her more appealing or something. I woul

7.

Text - MeowthThatsRite · 23h 3 8 11 Awards In high school a buddy told me that he didn't steal our other buddies watch. He was wearing the watch when I asked him about it. Reply 41.6k ...

8.

Yellow - Apol_lopA • 22h F 20 Awards I can finish this CIV game tonight... | Reply 1 17.1k ...

9.

Text - reusethisname • 23h 2 Awards As a tax accountant, I'm told lies about how much money people actually made all the time during tax season. My favorite was a guy telling me he's broke because he only makes $35,000/year in NYC so my (very reasonable) fee is too much for him. He says this after he asks me if he can deduct the new BMW 5 series he just bought his son all cash. Reply 21.5k ...

10.

Text - ping500 · 1d 3 4 Awards "The company is in a great shape so don't pay any attention to rumours about financial trouble" # Q Reply 4 33.1k

11.

Text - Readordie5 • 22h 3 8 4 Awards A childhood friend and I met up for coffee one day after not meeting for a few years. He casually "let it slip" that ever since he earned a black belt he has had to register with the state as a "human weapon". Reply 8.4k ...

12.

Text - PancakeOnMyForehead · 1d 4 Awards When my little brother mixed like 50 condiments, including sprinkles, ketchup, cereal n stuff, into a bag of popcorn an ate it telling us it was delicious when his face looked like hed just ate 10 extremely sour warheads at once. He later admitted he just wanted us to eat it but we never did. Reply 1 17.9k 3 ...

13.

Text - Miskelaneous · 22h S 7 Awards My ex told me he was in a car accident, totaled his car, broke a few ribs. (He was trying to get sympathy so i would get back together with him.) Blaming the accident on me, since he was "Distracted" after the break up. He sent me a photo of his car smashed in, i google searched it. First pic of his make/model that was wrecked. He formulated the story after the picture. But here's the deal, the wheels didn't match. So i drove by his house that evening, car wa

14.

Text - sunset117 · 20h O 8 2 Awards My first watch was an omega and I saved up on high school to get it. One of my good friends back then asked to wear it for 1 period and would give it back at lunch. He begged and begged so as a hs kid I gave in or couldn't keep saying no I guess, weak on me, obviously. WelI, He smashed it (apparently smashed the glass to test it) gave it back and said it was a fake and that's why the glass cracked and said he didn't do it and it just fell apart. Asshole became

15.

Text - Beemermann • 1d 7 Awards Any Lieutenant saying that the platoon can go home early on a friday if you work hard right now Reply 10.8k ...

16.

Text - ChristOnABike122 · 22h 2 Awards My brother told me I was a dragon and I totally believed him. Man I was a dumb kid, but now l'm a dumb Adult Reply 2.1k ...

17.

Text - barto5 · 22h I used to work with a guy that was a serial liar. Couldn't tell the truth if his life depended on it. So many lies, but this is my personal fave: • background - Keep in mind that at the NFL combine the 40 yard dash is the standard for speed. 4.5 seconds is great. 4.4 is elite. And the fastest time ever recorded - by a prospect is, I believe 4.24 seconds. This yutz I worked with claimed that back in his army days, he ran a 4.2 flat - in combat boots. Let's just say Il'm skepti

18.

Text - Underbash • 23h Used to play D&D with a pathological liar. (Side note, he had the most INCREDIBLE luck with natural 20 rolls.) Another thing about this guy is he always tried to act like a macho tough guy too who had been in serious scrapes and such. So one time, unprompted, he said under his breath, but obviously wanting us to hear, "I've got to get this shrapnel out of me." We were just like, "sure man, whatever you need to do."

19.

Text - thescrounger · 23h I had a friend in college who was a serial lair. Just all kinds of crazy things, that must've satisfied some psychological need, all of it harmless. He told me he developed a theory on how to bend light passing through air and pitched the idea to the physics department, which set up and experiment and proved his theory to be true. He was a general studies major. I kept pressing him "Well which professor was it? How did the experiment work?" Etc. Just kept digging deeper

20.

Yellow - GuidingLightPony · 23h 3 21 Awards "Your call is important to us." Reply 4 41.8k ...

21.

Text - Knight_Owls · 21h 1 Award When I was a kid, the internet wasn't a thing so, my friends were whoever happened to live in the neighborhood. One kid was a well known liar and exaggerator. We were maybe 14 years old at this time. This kid could play guitar and was always talking himself up about it and talking about "his band." He actually could play, but "his band" did not exist. One day, I called him at his house, from my house. I don't remember what it was about, but a few minutes into the

22.

Text - Phishstyxnkorn • 1d 3 6 Awards "I did brush my teeth, I swear." Reply 13.2k ...

23.

Text - LL112 · 1d 4 Awards Loyalty to a company would be repaid Reply 12.2k ...

24.

Text - CaptValentine • 21h "I feel good enough today." For flight training, anytime you fly you have to sign off that you are physically and mentally fit to fly. This means you have eaten in the past 6 hours, had a 10 hour rest period including 6-8 hours of sleep no longer than 16 hours ago and that you do not have any excessive outside stresses. People lie about this all the time. Reply 205 5 ...

25.

Text - lickyoursisterstoes · 23h 3 Awards My mom after 11-year-old me accidentally destroyed her favourite vase by throwing my brothers stuffed animals around the living room: I'm not mad. Reply 1 3.3k 3 ...

26.

Text - Daikataro • 22h 3 29 Awards "We cannot give you a raise right now, but we will compensate you as soon as the budget allows". Turns out "when the budget allows" is "when you already have another job offer and put in your two weeks notice". Reply 50.6k ...

27.

Text - ImpaledLuck · 23h 3 11 Awards "We will keep your resume on hand, and let you know if any other positions open up." As a recent graduate job searching, it hurts Reply 24.5k ...

28.

Text - Itsrandomness014 • 1d 3 2 Awards Yeah I did all my homework in like 5 minutes I promise Holy SHIT this comment blew up. Thanks lol A Q Reply 19.6k ...

29.

Text - Beautiful_Yoghurt278 · 21h Someone once told my own story back to me. I told them something funny that happened to me, and 6 mos later they told me back my own story, only that it happened to them. Reply 185 3 ...

30.

Text - AbeLincolnsBallsack • 21h 1 Award In the early 90's I was at work making $5/hour, and a co-worker looked me straight in The eye and said he had bought a surface to air missile from China and kept it stored at him moms house in a different city. Wtf dude? That's not even close to believable. Q Reply 183

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