Tuesday, November 10, 2020

A Motherload of Devastating Dad Jokes


There is a right time for puns and there is a wrong time for puns, and now is the time to let the dad jokes flow freely. These puns are reeking of such dadness that they belong on a minivan road trip to a lawnmower festival. These sackfuls of puns might have you regretting wordplay and looking completely dad in the eyes.

1.

Human - I lost my hair years ago but I still carry a comb I just can't part with it

2.

Text - Князь Мышкин @MyshkinFool HOT older men in YOUR area want to know if YOU have been playing with the THERMOSTAT?

3.

Photo caption - WHEN YOU GOT THE SAME MOM BUT DIFFERENT DADS

4.

Games - This made me throw up.

5.

Cartoon - Teacher: Can you count down from 100? Me: Yes. 100, 59, 58... My teacher My microwave

6.

Facial expression - A cheese factory exploded in France. That's awful. Riker's Beard It is. Da Brie is everywhere.

7.

Text - Wanna hear a joke about Sodium? Na Wanna hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite? NaBrO

8.

Text - А, В, , Е, F, G...

9.

Mammal - A NEW STUDY RECENTLY FOUND THAT HUMANS EAT MORE BANANAS THAN MONKEYS I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME TATE A MONKEY

10.

Computer keyboard - H. K. All Pissed off the IT guy, and he said he was going to give me a black eye... and i laughed... looks like he put me in my place. Touche IT guy 13

11.

Hero - Lion-O Richie

12.

Skin - Doctor, here is the list of donor hearts, livers and kidneys, Wow, it is very... in alphabetical order. Organ-ized.

13.

Text - On Monday we start Diarrhea Awareness Week. Runs until Friday.

14.

Liqueur - It was the best of Shires, It was the HEINZ KISTERS MORS HEINZ RCESTERS 20% MORE 20% MORE HEINZ MORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE HEINZ WORCESTERSHIRE ZNI3H RCESTERS HON NO

15.

Graduation - SHOUTOUT TO SIDEWALKS FOR KEEPING ME OFF THE STREETS

16.

Face - Oh No! our neighbour died! Who, Ray? ePunHubOnline I don't think cheering is appropriate, Karen Pun hub

17.

Text - Woman gets killed while eating a burgers First 48: Hamburger Couldn't Helper O Like Comment A Share Shawn Shawn and 62 others 29 shares Donte D-low Trammell Brooooo im dead 2 2d Like Reply

18.

Dog breed - TOOK MY DOG CAMPING AND AS HE SAT THERE STARING AT THE FIRE BLANKLY IREALIZED HE LOVES STICKS.O WAS BURNING A GIANT PILE OF HIS TOYS.

19.

Lawn - If there's anything I love more than a family costume, it's a solid dad joke. Hunt MANWICH Origira

20.

Cartoon - Baby I wanna travel. Go outside, pick up a basketball & take 3 steps

21.

Motor vehicle - Do you know why I pulled you over? If you forgot, I'm not reminding you.

22.

Internet meme - Was that a T-Rex that was just talking to you? Yeah, he just sold me a few handguns What?? Why? He's my small arms dealer

23.

Meal - Dad: If the Queen farts during dinner, the guests should pretend as if nothing happened Family: Why? Dad: Noble gases should have no reaction

24.

Photo caption - Number One, when we're done here would you like to join my llama and A picnic with you I for a picnic? and your llama? Yes. Alpaca lunch

25.

Tree - Look, a Cowch THE DAILY LAUGHS

26.

Arm - INSTRUCTION MANUAL? YOU MEAN THE MANUFACTURER'S OPINION?

27.

Footwear - Das a foot PURIFIED WATER NE FA Cn DASANI RO2 (1.25 PO S91

28.

Terrestrial animal - I HAVE THE NECESSARY YOUR KOALAFICATIONS ARE KOALAFICATIONS DON'T LISTEN TO HIM COMPLETELY IRRELEPHANT THIS ARGUING IS BECOMING HE'S LION UNBEARABLE! INDEED HORSE PLEASE. WHEN DO YOU EVER SAY SOMETHING SMART? ITS MAKING MY VOICE HORSE DONT WORRY, OWL WAIT I'M OUT OF HERE! OUCH YOU ALL ARE GIRAFFING ME CRAZY HAWKWARD

29.

Cartoon - IF YOU DRIFT A TESLA IS IT CALLED AN ELECTRIC SLIDE?2 made with mematic

30.

Photo caption - Friend: “Are you alright?" Me with the mental capacity of a 9 year old: "Nah, I'm half left."

31.

Text - Son: can we go to a haunted house this year? Dad: what's wrong with the one we live in? Son: WHAT?! Dad: goodnight son edadiexting

32.

Animated cartoon - When you use a non-stick pan, but the food still sticks to it. P'll get you for this, Pan!

33.

Album cover - BEFORE CALCULATORS PEOPLE USED AN...

34.

Player - There's only one thing that scares me on Halloween. Which is? Captain Kirk Man Myth Legend Yeah. How did you know?

35.

Horizon - YOU OF A

36.

Facial expression - I have a pen that can write underwater. Wow, really? Riker's Beard Yeah. It can write other words too, though.

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