Sunday, September 20, 2020

Parents' Most Absurd Conversations With Their Toddlers


There's no question that parenting is an emotional rollercoaster. Countless sleepless nights, and some kind of temper tantrum are regular occurrences for parents just trying to live some kind of remotely peaceful existence. This particular AskReddit thread considers some parents' most unexpected, absurd conversations that they've had with their toddlers. Some wild conversation topics from the thread include how it's not okay to color the cat, or how one is not advised to take lettuce to bed with them. 

1.

Text - SmudgeZelda• 3d 2 Awards We have an almost daily conversation about how its not nice to color the cat. Reply 2.9k

2.

Text - Overthemoon64 • 3d 3 Awards So we were counting down the time on the microwave until her chicken nuggets were done. 3...2...1...END. Not zero. The worst tantrum today was that she wanted to count down to 0 on the microwave, but there is no 0 just END. "No I can't make the microwave be 0 sweetie." Reply 2.5k ...

3.

Text - MadameBurner • 3d 1 Award No, you can't take the lettuce to bed with you. He was 4 at the time and the head of lettuce was his new best friend. Edit 1: Thanks for the award! Edit 2: Glad to hear I'm not the only parent who has a kid that befriended foodstuffs Reply 2.5k ...

4.

Text - therealDannyMartin • 3d Why it isn't nice to lick people..or the dog Reply 1.3k ...

5.

Text - ThatOneWritingPerson • 3d 1 Award "You can't go to school today because it's Saturday!" And then she sulked because who the heck dares close the school two days per week. I hope she'll still be this motivated during her teen years. Reply 1.4k ...

6.

Text - captconfusion • 3d My sister took video if our nephew banging his head on the screen door and him giggling the entire time. On video she said 'if you keep doing that your head will hurt' he just continues. She saved the video to show his mom to prove she wasnt abusing him. Reply 202 ...

7.

Text - landreasen 3d 1 Award I had to explain to my 2 year old today that we don't in fact just wash one hand after using the bathroom. "This ones not dirty!" Followed by a plethora of tears of course. Reply 940 ...

8.

Text - stobbsm • 3d Not that it was today (he's now 12), but the big one was: No, you can't climb in the oven. Happened everyday for about a week.

9.

Text - BlissfulThunderStorm • 3d Cats claws are not called a "foot fork" Reply 64 ...

10.

Text - The_Mr_Pigeon • 3d "No buddy, the iPad doesn't go in the toilet." In the space of 24 hours he's also deposited two fresh nappies, a tin of soup and a plastic froggy into the porcelain throne. The Amazon delivery for a toilet safety lock better arrive this afternoon because he keeps picking up my car keys and smiling at me. Reply 3 ...

11.

Text - bumpywigs • 3d Stop drinking your bath water. Reply 1.7k ...

12.

Text - oilpaint8 • 3d Quit turning all of the lights off while we are eating dinner! Reply 3 ...

13.

Text - AngelMeatPie • 3d "Why are there cars and trains in the fridge?" Yesterday it was "don't lick the dishwasher!" Reply 207 ...

14.

Text - Desidiosus • 3d "No, I don't think baby ostriches are particularly afraid of mummies." She has an active imagination. Reply ...

15.

Text - Casey25 • 3d "Please have a bite of your hamburger, then you can have more veggies." Reply 3

16.

Text - cheezygritz3 • 3d "Yes, that's a beautiful leave you found!! No, i will not eat it." -cue tantrum... Reply 3 ...

17.

Text - clarissaswallowsall • 3d Not today but yesterday in her OT session. Occupational Therapist "so what do you do when you're angry to calm down?" My 4 yr old "I squeeze my voodoo doll" Ot and I look at each other Ot: "do you have a voodoo doll?" 4 yr old "no, but I think about it a lot" Reply 2 + ...

18.

Text - MaleficiumFervor • 3d I once was told: "You can't drive toy cars in your brothers hair" Reply Vote ...

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