Monday, August 3, 2020

Wild and Awkward Junk said by Teachers


We've been out of school for a little bit so maybe things haven't changed much, but damn teachers used to get away with saying some absolutely wild stuff. Some were great, most were fine, but some could be wrong and dumb or just awkward bullies. Sometimes bad teachers got their comeuppance, like this strict teacher who told a student not to speak and it totally backfired. Kids can be weird too, like in these weird and stupid school stories.

1.

Text - tidepod007 1.3k points · 4 days ago she called me an escapist for missing school and homework due to jaundice in 7th grade.

2.

Text - klopnyyt 1.1k points · 4 days ago One time she leaned over my friend's shoulder to help him with his work and, as she was explaining, she accidentally burped right in his face. She walked away completely embarrassed and from the moment on, everyone would fake burp when they saw her. Ended up leaving the school eventually.

3.

Text - drewshaver 276 points · 4 days ago The moon doesn't have it's own gravitational pull. My 7th grade science "teacher" (aka babysitter).

4.

Text - 49Gold 38.1k points · 4 days ago I had an art teacher that got caught drinking. Apparently someone from the previous period told on her. The vice principal came into our class and told her to come with him. We all heard her yell "they drove me to drink" from the hallway.

5.

Text - ginger_bottle 22.5k points · 4 days ago S The morning after parents night, boy in the class was talking over the lesson for the 100th time that term and the teacher says: "Johnny! This is exactly what I was saying to your mum last night." The class burst into laughter, the teacher went red at the implication and Johnny didn't talk over the lesson anymore.

6.

Text - stuckNTX_plzsendHelp 21.0k points · 4 days ago Worst thing and also best thing. History class. Kid punches the kid in front of him in the back of the head. Teacher sees this and says, "now he's gonna punch you in the head and your all gonna sit there and watch because there's nothing you can do about it".

7.

Text - nikidino8 20.9k points · 4 days ago New year, new teacher and his introduction was: "If you are loud I will hit you with the chalk". We all thought it was very funny but the next day we learned what doom was because he never missed.

8.

Text - mylifeasblue 16.5k points · 4 days ago She read out my name and looks at me and says , "Your parents named you this?"

9.

Text - BÄ°Memol 14.2k points · 4 days ago - edited 3 days ago Not in my class but one of my professors once said 'You look like you enjoy riding a bicycle without the saddle'

10.

Text - completion1997 13.6k points · 4 days ago During English class we were watching Tomorrow When the war began. Those of you who have seen the movie know they start the movie talking about sex. The teacher goes, 'Sex is not that great, I have actually not had sex' He's a full 30 year old man and says that to a bunch of 13-14 year olds. Those were the days...

11.

Text - itsSomethingCool 12.9k points · 4 days ago During one year of high school in a bio class, the students were fooling around in class not doing their work and the young (had to be in her late 20s) professor yelled "you all stop jerking off!" Then turned red as she realized what she had just said. You can only imagine how that went in a room full of 16-17 year olds lol.

12.

Text - ordinarybloke1963 12.3k points · 4 days ago At the start of class our teacher just sat in silence for five minutes, we waited for him to begin. He then said “you have just wasted five minutes of your life. You will never get that time back" A bit harsh on a class of nine year olds.

13.

Text - Kamon0253 12.0k points · 4 days ago I had a prof that had given us an in class assignment. He was a shitty teacher and we were first year students so we didn't finish it and he told us to take it home and finish it and when we were done to "bring to me. Bring it to daddy." He was Greek and didn't know the context, but he was the head of the department so we all held back our giggles and left.

14.

Text - notthatguytheother1 11.4k points -4 days ago My sister once had a teacher tell the class that they had to write a paper on a "famous Egyptian. You know, like Socrates" My sister was given in school suspension for disrupting class with her laughter. She appealed it, and in the appeal meeting with our mom and the principal, the teacher insisted that Socrates was Egyptian. The suspension was canceled, my sister didn't have to write the paper, and AFAIK that teacher is still working at the sa

15.

Text - Curtana_ 10.8k points · 4 days ago · edited 3 days ago E "At least half of you will be dead by the time you reach 20 years old" to a class of 11 year olds...

16.

Text - CichaelMlifford 9.4k points · 4 days ago F "I don't know why there are so many girls in this class. You're supposed to be married and have children already" --11th grade advanced physics teacher

17.

Text - pathemar 8.0k points · 4 days ago "I will be in your butt!" Our band director was trying to fire us up for marching season, butt he had never given a motivational speech before so he fucked up all the intense parts and made them mildly sexual

18.

Text - yeetgodmcnechass 7.7k points · 4 days ago I was in 5th grade and there were a few students who weren't getting great test scores. So during our lesson one day she calls out some of those students and basically paints a really morbid picture of what their future would supposedly be. She said they'd end up working at McDonald's for minimum wage, barely making enough to pay rent in a shitty apartment with no way to pay for food, electricity or anything else

19.

Text - JohnFlips2424 7.3k points · 4 days ago · edited 3 days ago My AP bio teacher was a little behind on the times and on the first day of school called a student daddy. Safe to say everybody busted out laughing and never let her live it down

20.

Text - pmstin 7.0k points · 4 days ago Class mate explained he couldn't get through the 20-page assignment in time due to his dyslexia, Old-timey teacher says " there's no such thing, you're just lazy". Only about 6 or 7 years ago, too.

21.

Text - I_Ace_English 6.8k points · 4 days ago Said that all we had to do to understand a reading was to try harder. This immediately after someone who was visually impaired told her that no accommodations had been provided, so "trying harder" was kind of out of the realm of possibility. We all lost a lot of respect for that teacher that night.

22.

Text - LessThanAveragePeter 5.6k points · 4 days ago 32 Freshman year in high school a classmate called someone a "chode" in gym class. The gym teacher asked him what that means and the student explained "A chode is a good student" Next day, the teacher welcomed the class by saying "Good Morning Chodes" Honestly, at 13/14 that's about as funny as it gets.

23.

Text - PretendOrange 3.4k points · 4 days ago Teach was using an example to illustrate a concept. He was a very nice, bubbly man, we all liked him. He points at a random student and says: "For example, Bob, imagine you're adopted-" About half the class cringed as they knew what Bob was about to say: "Um, I am adopted" You could see the gears turning in the poor teachers mind omgohfuck I can't say sorry because that implies that being adopted is bad, omgohfuck The silence was palpable as he tried

24.

Text - hyteck9 3.1k points · 4 days ago His name. "Harry Balls". No.. really.. he was a substitute teacher who wrote his name on the board and said, "I will give you 3 minutes to laugh, but then we gotta get to work. "

25.

Text - daemonetteofslaanesh 1.4k points · 4 days ago · edited 3 days ago Assembly in front of the whole school (ages 3 and up). Let it slip that Santa isn't real.

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