Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Weirdest Things Window Cleaners Have Seen


Someone on AskReddit got a wild thread going about the various things that window cleaners have seen while on the job. People get up to all kinds of crazy nonsense in their apartments/condos/offices, and it's easy to forget that every now and again there are dudes getting paid to clean those windows. 

1.

Text - strengr • 4h S 2 Awards I am a consulting engineer working in building science and structural restoration. a number of years ago while working in Toronto at a 38-storey high rise, we (2 contractors and myself) were reviewing glazing and sealant bead and came down upon a window where a woman was grooming her bikini area. We are always taught to see something inappropriate and look away. Apparently we looked so far away we missed the metal flashing lip of the next level down, our swingstage

2.

Text - jbob172 · 3h Once I was doing this two story house, with big square plates of glass pretty much everywhere. The guy had every single painting on his walls covered with sheets, and absolutely would not allow us inside to get to the double hungs on the second floor.

3.

Text - mfinleyv • 6h Not a window cleaner but I was at a boring industry black tie event at a posh hotel in London a few years back. Woke up very hungover on the 12th floor, stumbled to the window and pulled open the curtains. 2 blokes stood there staring at my fat naked self, they were on one of those tall building platform things. Took me a moment to understand what the fuck was going on. Closed curtains. Moved on with my life.

4.

Text - amjadpac • 3h My (maternal) grandfather was a window washer in the 1930s. He saw my (eventual) grandmother on the other side of the glass.

5.

Text - theunrealabyss • 6h I don't know. I think many of these stories here are made up. Did some window washing during my college time back then and these are scheduled appointments - so there are really no surprises here and owners are usually prepared that we are there. One time we did a rich guys house and it was just him and his girlfriend there. They got into a massive fight towards the end and she just walked out. Literally walked on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere and we pi

6.

Text - El-rond • 7h The window cleaner commented on the huge spider on the inside of our office room window. He assumed it was caged in some way, but we explained how it's free, but stays on its web which spans the one metre width of the window recess. Quite a few of us in the UK keep exotic spiders other than just tarantulas! Mine is a Nephila inaurata madagascariensis for anyone interested :)

7.

Text - Vuldyn • 2h I used to be the janitor at a busy McDonalds next to a university campus a while back. Early in the morning I usually cleaned the windows outside before the drive through started to get too busy. Usually saw some fairly strange people, but one that stuck out was a very unkempt and definitely hungover man foraging for cigarette butts in the trash, and on the pavement. After he gathered a handful, he sat on the curb nearby, crushed the tiny bits of old stale tobacco out of the b

8.

Text - Praeconium2501 • 2h I cleaned windows at a house stuffed with as many taxidermy animals they could fit. That was strange

9.

Text - Dosu_Kinuta • 1h When i was a cleaner there was a old lady who had me do her windows. In the corner of the windiw on her third floor was this massive tarantula that was completely loose and just chillin. When I told her about it she said her nephew was "supposed to fix her spider issue"

10.

Text - ElevenSleven • 4h My dad owns a window cleaning company. It's mostly residental. Usually it's people changing or showering. Which is weird cause they know we're there. My favourite story is of a retirement community that didn't allow fences and sheds and had a bunch of other rules. When inquired about the sheds she said cause people grow dope in them

11.

Text - Not a window washer, but I used to install them. One afternoon we'd gone out to a job where some asshole neighbourhood kids had smashed several back windows of a nice elderly couples place. We worked our way from top. First two windows belonged to an ensuite bathroom, while the third was the bedroom to which the ensuite was attached. The master. My job was to clear any remaining glass from the area so the other bloke could put the new panel in. Anyway, I noticed a small urn on the desk by

12.

Text - bfly1800 • 8h 3 2 Awards A tornado. We'd had little warning before we saw it about 1 kilometre away. It didn't appear to be moving side to side much, which indicates that it's coming towards you. We winched down about 4 floors, jumped onto a fire escape and got inside the building. Rode out the storm inside and then went home.

13.

Text - anteas06 • 5h I saw a window washer sneeze on the window and just spread it on the window with a towel like it's a cleaning liquid.

14.

Text - ytoast • 4h Housekeeper checking in. This one lady liked to feed birds, like 50lbs every two weeks. No screens, sills caked in filth and the windows themselves had been neglected over time. They were Anderson windows so you could pull them in from the inside. Well the tension string broke and I'm literally holding the window by a string and this bird straight up flies into my face. I was shocked, the bird was shocked, I screamed, I like to imagine the bird did too. Bird flew away and I go

15.

Text - ionakana511 • 5h I was washing windows at this one building. It was any ordinary day until i saw the biggest celebrity ever walk in. He was applying for a bank loan. But after a few minutes i saw that something was going on. The bank manager and several reps came out to discuss the justifications for his denial. I felt bad for the guy. He put his head down and walked out of the bank in shame. It became clear to me... The Human Torch was denied a bank loan. TLDR: The Human Torch was denied

16.

Text - Platinum_Mad_Max • 1h Favourite thing I saw was we were doing the windows for an older man who had his granddaughter over probably no older than 5. She got excited watching us so the guy gave her a wash cloth and she would try to mimic us cleaning while we did our work on the outside. That or the people that would come out with watermelon or water on extremely hot days. We rarely got a chance to stop, so once we ran out of water we were usually out for the day which made people like this

17.

Text - Leila_Koch • 5h 1 Award Not a window washer, but I saw a window washer dressed up like Batman while cleaning the windows of the cancer ward in the hospital (grandmother had cancer). The child cancer center was through a different door on the same hall as the elderly (60+) cancer center. I was 9 at the time and thought it was awesome, cheered me up for a while.

18.

Text - lokidopolous • 2d Not as exciting as the other stories but something I'm blown away by when l'm on ropes is how many people feel guilty about not working when I'm around. When you look into peoples work stations you can see that almost no one works, most people are on Facebook, YouTube or on news sites. But the second the notice me outside the window they quickly switch to an excel spreadsheet. Like they think I'm some kind of productivity spy about to rat them out to management. Keep cru

19.

Text - The lady clearly thought I was a neanderthal. She later complained that she had to do all the work, pointing it all out to me. I tried to explain that I could sit in a bus and point out the route, but that doesn't change the work the bus driver is doing. She complained that I couldn't be that smart because I was a window washer and window washers are lazy. I explained it was one of two jobs I was working while taking a full course load at the university. TL:DR I met someone who was Classi

20.

Text - zappasbestfriend • 2d Once while cleaning a high rise apartment, an old lady kindly ask me if I was hungry and proceeded to open her window and hand me a pizza slice. Sol sat there, 27 stories up, tangling on my chair and eating pizza. It was a good day.

21.

Text - normal242 • 3d It was a normal morning and I had just began cleaning windows. I'm cleaning one with the blind down not really paying attention. I realise that the blind is slowly rising and when it finishes opening I see him. Cricket legend Brett Lee doing yoga. Will never forget that day.

22.

Text - RedditYankee • 3d I was visiting my grandparents in a high rise, looking out their windows a few stories up. As the window cleaners went by, I happily watched them clean, hands folded behind my back, because the windows were a one way type thing where they were basically mirrors from the outside in. I knew this because l'd seen the building from the outside. Unbeknownst to me, the level of reflectivity changes pretty drastically depending on the time of day, and I realized that when the w

23.

Text - Mrjizzquick 4.2k points · 17 days ago I actually did this in High School for a bit. It was actually another window washer and I thought I was looking into a mirror until I realized it was a middle aged African American woman. We smiled, waved and moved on. God I miss her.

24.

Text - BrayWyattsHat 349 points · 16 days ago A piglet. As in, a baby pig, not the Winnie the Pooh character. No idea why he got an office on the 10th floor.

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