Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Wordsmiths That Lit People Up Online


Oh yeah, we've got a fresh collection of fiery banter and insults from the online world's most tenacious wordsmiths. Some people take it upon themselves to deliver all kinds of reality checks, witty insults, etc, to others in the online world that seem to be in need of a quick wakeup. Never underestimate the power of the written word. These folks definitely got humbled. 

1.

Text - Sunday River @sundayriver May 1 We not own or have an official affiliation with the Sunday River Brewing Company. They are a local restaurant down the access road. In following the orders of the state of Maine and federal guidelines to reduce the spread of COVID-19, we will continue to remain closed. 27 4 27 gomax @gomax774092732 - 21h You have no balls 3 t7 Sunday River @sundayriver Replying to @gomax774092732 @grenierad2 and 4 others Our social media team is composed of all women, so yo

2.

Text - Paul Joseph Watson O @PrisonPlan. · May 1 Mexican food is the most overrated shit ever. What the fuck is a "taco" supposed to be? Cornish pastie, bitch. 4.2K 27 667 6.6K Show this thread Replies Mark Rendiano 2 @MarkRendiano · May 1 Replying to @PrisonPlanet A Brit talking smack about other cuisines is like a dung beetle criticizing a butterfly's choice of dinner. 44 27 379 5.6K

3.

Text - Saya Olivia Hayashi 3 April at 23:46 · e ... Please stop saying you "researched it." You didn't research anything and its highly probable that you dont even know how to do so. Did you compile a literature review and write abstracts on each article? Or better yet, did you collect a random sample of sources and perform independent probability statistics on the reported results? No? Did you at least take each article, one by one and look into the source ( that would be the author, publisher

4.

Text - grumpythebarbarian Tyron @TyronWilson you are not a slytherin, you are 32 2019-06-12, 7:06 AM E ms-demeanor The character Harry potter is 36. People who are 32 were in the exact age range to match Harry as the books were being published, they probably grew up with it and it was probably important to them if they're still talking about their Hogwarts house. Being an adult doesn't have to be a joyless slog of work and taxes, you're allowed to continue enjoying your childhood interests, and

5.

Text - Potatoes are 100% from Ireland I dont know what that kid was smoking 12 21h Like Reply Just googled it for you: 004 21h Like Reply https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki /Potato EN.WIKIPEDIA.ORG Potato - Wikipedia 21h Like Reply

6.

Text - "The potato was first domesticated in the region of modern-day southern Peru and northwestern Bolivia between 8000 and 5000 BC. It has since spread around the world and become a staple crop in many countries." 11 21h Like Reply r how does it spread to an island? 21h Like Reply

7.

Text - Which was their man food source 21h Like Reply Just googled it for you: O07 21h Like Reply https://en.wikipedia.org /wiki/Boat 40 EN.WIKIPEDIA.ORG Boat - Wikipedia 21h Like Reply

8.

Text - hi-def-doritos A while back I heard my friend (male) insult another dude by saying, "You look like the kind of guy who wouldn't go to Wal-Mart to buy his girlfriend a box of tampons" and I still think about that crowning insult sometimes manasaysay My dad once called another guy "someone who thinks loading the dishwasher once in a while makes him less of a man" hi-def-doritos I like your dad already charming-tothelast one time my dad's boss was giving him shit for always leaving work earl

9.

Text - November 11 at 9:17am - Philadelphia, PA Last week I corrected my professor in Art History class and she took it pretty hard. I basically proved her knowledge wrong and got thrown out of class for it! Thankfully rest of the students protested this move and followed me out. They asked me to hold the next "class" at my house and teach them the next chapter. Eventually we all went to the deparment head and complained so the teacher is now suspended and have an A in the class. Like Comment Sh

10.

Text - iguanamouth i havent shaved my legs in a really long time and while i was babysitting my skirt edged up a bit and the seven year old i was watching said "ew you should shave that hairs not supposed to be there" and i said "well if its not supposed to be there then why does it grow there?" and he was really silent for a long time and then finally said "lets watch sonic the hedgehog" dinogatorr tumors grow, are they supposed to be there? its called "evolution", just because its there doesnt

11.

Text - All Course Announcement Fall 2016 BIO 101 - 15 General Biology! 5 minutes ago Final Exam Grades Open Dismiss Hi, All. I have your final exam grades Guys I really wanted to believe that Virginia Western was not the cesspool of morons all my fellow Biology faculty told me it would be. Unfortunatly your finals, which I purposely made as easy as humanly possible. tanked harder than a Kardashian marriage I personally apologize for expecting the bare minimum from you as students. If you look at

12.

Text - fractalphony · 40m 1 Award Maybe don't spend all of your paycheck on take out food, a desk full of make-up, the latest flagship phone, and a spare room full of "outfits", then you would possess what is adults refer to as " savings"... Freedom carries responsibility. Within the confines of freedom, you are wholly free to fail. Edit: a letter -16 Reply benho3 · 29m Maybe don't assume everyone has all these things you speak of and that they live on take out food. The inability to put yoursel

13.

Text - r/AskReddit In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity? Vote 14 1 Share SINGLE COMMENT THREAD VIEW ALL Tar 1h How tall are you? Reply

14.

Text - elğ> @arabia612 Marry a guy who will email you when u block him cis lord problematic @MacMaal_ Fellas, marry a woman that doesn't play these kind of games

15.

Text - the good news is i work for a real rachel bell @racheltacobell estate startup and know the law, and my landlord and i have a pretty DID MY LANDLORD JUST TRY TO chill relationship (until this Imfao). USE THE BIBLE TO RAISE MY so i just texted him this: RENT.LMAOO00 Bruce Landlord > Attn: All Tenants Today 2:57 PM hey brucie baby. it's illegal for you to raise my rent during an active lease term. also federal law (the fair Effective October 1, 2019 rent will increase 10% on all units accord

16.

Text - ••WeJustMet•. @Im_Not_Cheryl Repeat after me: "It's a guy's duty to pay the bill at the raustarant, that's why it's called 'MEN'U Deacon Tolu @Bams_Jnr Or It's the responsibility of both parties that's why it's called Me'N'u

17.

Text - idk what's so sad about the mars rover dying, I'm gonna die cold and alone too 9:28 AM 15 Feb 19 ili View Tweet activity 27 Retweets 106 Likes 1d Replying to Difference is the mars rover contributed to society 01

18.

Text - Tara McCarthy Follow @TaraMcCarthy444 I'm so proud that we are creating an international alliance of nationalists! Together we will beat globalism. 7:46 PM - 23 Oct 2017 Alexandra Scarin' Follow @alexandraerin This is the best tweet since the Flat Earth Society announced it has members all over the globe.

19.

Text - Ugh my back is so sore Baby l'm so sorry :c Did you sleep on it poorly? I can grab you some ibuprofen :c No it's from carrying your ass through 4 dungeons last night ОН I SEE

20.

Text - Asked a woman sitting alone on the plane if she'd switch seats with me (just one seat in front of her, still window) so I could sit next to my friend and she said no. Genuinely never had anyone say no to that type of request before. Can't imagine being that selfish honestly O 127 2718 ♡ 1,776 Or another way to look at it... A stranger asked me to switch seats & I declined. He then painted me as an awful person & only saw things from his own point of view. Can't imagine being that selfish,

21.

Text - Last night dreamt that he cheated on me and we broke up, now i don't know if i should respond to his "good morning beautiful" or give him attitude all day . #MenAreTrash Tweet vertalen 24 okt. 19 om 07:05 · Twitter for Android 1 Retweet 7 Vind-ik-leuks Als antwoord op @ Just because you dreamed something doesn't mean it's real. It shows distrust in your partner. And then the menaretrash hashtag, ugh. Just because you don't trust someone doesn't mean that men are asshole's. That shows that

22.

Text - Jeremy C. Shipp @JeremyCShipp "OK Boomer" marks the end of friendly generational relations? It wasn't the 10 million articles blaming poor, underpaid millennials for killing every industry? E The New York Times O @nytimes · 7h Fed up with older people who just don't get it, Gen Z has a retort to push back against adults: "Ok boomer" nyti.ms/2PuYXcK

23.

Text - 4h but bro you're literally a package delivery guy. As if that's something to be proud of Imao Reply -91 • 3h It actually is. Don't be a dickhead. You should be abso- lutely ashamed of yourself for trying to put down some- ones profession. Especially if the position is unionized and gets great great pay and benefits (UPS) or tenured gvt jobs with amazing benefits and pay (USPS). Mail carrier is an amazing career to have if you can work your way up. ANY job is better than no job and you tr

24.

Text - Per Replying to @TheTodayShow I challenge any game maker to come up with a game that rewards kids to be empathetic to situations involving other 'players/game characters' & rewards them for kind gestures & behaviours; and also positively reinforces kindness, politeness & constructively can problem solve. O 130 32 Journey, Undertale, Stardew Valley, the entire Fallout series, Minecraft, Animal Crossing, Harvest Moon, the vast majority of role-playing games made by Bioware. Would you like r

25.

Text - TIME TIME @TIME Millennials want jobs and education, not marriage and kids Kelly @kellyblaus Alternate headline: Y'all fucked up the economy so badly that we can't focus on marriage and kids because we're struggling to afford to live

26.

Text - The cost to operate this printer each month is equivalent to: - 4,000 Taco Bell tacos - 1,084 gallons of gas - 42 tickets to Disney World Think Before You Ink A Student Wants You to Know: With my tuition I could pay for • 41, 460 Taco Bell tacos • 10, 365 gallons of gas • 465 tickets to Disney World With this, times 5,200 students, I should be able to print whatever the hell I want.

27.

Wood - Let's not go into 2020 being fools phone flipped over means either you hiding something or cheating 2 KILLER KING @killerkingggg NoI flip my phone over to let you insecure fools know Im focused on you

28.

Text - Kristin @sodangfancy22 · 2d I graduated from college 8 years ago today. I was 28. I refused to go into debt for college so I joined the military. I kept my grades up and they took care of me. #CancelStudentDebt is a slap in the face to many like me. Q 3,278 275,985 27.7K Spanky McDutcherson @thatdutchperson Replying to @sodangfancy22 Imagine thinking "I had to enter into a situation where potentially would have died or maybe would have had to kill others so that I wouldn't go into crippli

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