Tuesday, May 19, 2020

Toxic Behaviors Disguised As Virtues


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the various toxic behaviors that are not so slyly passed off as "virtues." Nothing quite brings the blood to a boil like someone who is out there putting on the act like they're all high and mighty, while in fact they're just stinking everyone else's existence up with toxic nonsense. So, if any of these ring a bell, they might bring back to mind that time you found yourself in the presence of someone who was just too clueless to recognize they were bringing everyone else around them down. 

1.

Text - Squiddification • 18h 3 2 Awards I had an in-law who talked constantly about how generous and compassionate she was. She could be both... But she had a tendency to get carried away by what she wanted for you rather than what you actually wanted. She was the kind of person who would throw a big party for you when you explicitly told her you didn't want a party, and she would talk constantly about how overwhelmed she was planning the party and how you should help in all these ways because,

2.

Text - VulcanHullo • 20h Mum says several people on her facebook are ANGRY that they were told their services weren't needed when they signed up to the towns volunteer service to help folk during this crisis (we had an amazing number of people come forward). They're mad because they "want to help" and "do their bit" and honestly she realised so many of them are the ones who do charity drives and stuff like that just to show off how much of a #GoodPerson they are and to have others praise them fo

3.

Text - tariqk • 17h 2 Awards Self-sacrifice. Sometimes sacrificing some of your time and energy is important, but you've got to remember that if someone or something is important to you, it doesn't mean you should cut pieces of yourself or burn yourself out for it. It goes double if you're caring for someone – if that something or someone is that important to you, you need to make sure that the support you're giving remains consistent and sustainable, and doesn't take you out. We often forget th

4.

Text - kazu-sama • 20h 3 1 Award The workaholic. It's fine to work hard at something you love, but not at the expense of everything else.

5.

Text - mingmingcat • 21h 1 Award Supporting a person to a fault. In other words, being an enabler. Reply 12.9k ...

6.

Text - FierulMare • 18h "If you're willing to do something, you MUST be the best at it!!" Now how screwed up does that sound?

7.

Text - IDressUpAsBroccoli • 21h 1 Award When people get involved in and regulate other people's relationships. They try to act like they're helping but they always make it worse.

8.

Text - RedditRum87 • 21h 2 Awards The rise and grind mentality, saying if you're not working towards something you're wasting your time. It's important to take time to just relax or pursue a passion without monetary gain. But society as a whole has deemed this as wasting your time. Reply 5.6k ...

9.

Text - JSteus • 20h The entire "I hAvE sTrOnG pErSoNaLiTy" kind of people

10.

Text - tomis2003 • 14h 1 Award That kind of Hustle Culture where successful people give "motivational" speeches (or more often Instagram captions) where they say stuff like "if you're not succeeding you're not working hard enough" or "we all have the same 24 hours." We don't all have the same 24 hours. If you have kids, subtract a couple hours. If you have kids without a live in nanny subtract a bunch of hours. If you have to work a minimum wage job to make rent subtract hours. If you don't have

11.

Text - schnit123 • 18h Toxic positivity, ie: people who try to find the good in everything. There's a lot to be said for having a positive outlook but it quickly becomes toxic when you start defending abusers (I'm sure your parents still loved you in their own way) or trivializing people's sadness (so you got fired - it just means you get to pursue a new opportunity!). Sometimes the appropriate answer to a situation is to just acknowledge that things suck.

12.

Text - fishnugget1 • 19h Persistence in relationships. It's always sold in Rom- coms and in relationships. But usually your persistence is a complete lack of respect for other people's boundaries or holding onto things that aren't working out.

13.

Text - Dr-Sateen • 15h Being offended on behalf of another person without knowing or wanting to know their opinion.

14.

Text - PanoramicTrouble • 20h 3 1 Award Grand "romantic" gestures. I teach high school and it's crazy how many times you see a kid basically bully their crush into being with them. They make this huge public display and the kid is too shy to say no in front of everyone. It's embarrassing and distressing for that poor kid.

15.

Text - InnocuousDaisy • 20h Telling kids that they are so different than everyone else while implying that they are somehow better. The actual healthy thing to do is to stress that everyone is unique, and the kid's natural gifts make them who you are just like other kids' gifts make them unique.

16.

Text - InternetKidsAreMean • 20h Corporate passive aggressive behavior. Yes, you're saying all the right things and everything checks out if read back on a transcript, but you and I both know you've simply found a way to abuse the rules for your own gain.

17.

Text - RackingRods • 21h People that say they're always 100% honest and aren't afraid to speak their mind. It's definitely useful when needed, but all the time just makes the person seem insufferable and rude.

18.

Text - Dos_Henny • 21h 1 Award People who say " This is just the way I am; If you can't handle that, oh well". Like... No. You're wrong. I understand to an extent that if people don't like you for being yourself, they can go fuck themselves; BUT, if you are a person who seriously does not know how to speak to people or are just rude in general and claim "that's just how I am", you're wrong. People need to know it is not okay to be rude or obnoxious and that you should be able to know the differe

19.

Text - bayleaf0098 · 18h People that do good deeds so they can brag about it or use it to their own advantage. "Look at me, I'm such a good person! I do all these nice things, not because I wanted to be a good person or anything, nope! Just so I could tell everyone about all the good things I do! Repeatedly. Like all the time. Because l'm a good person, remember? Hey by the way, could you do me a fav-"

20.

Text - DudeAbides101 • 20h Over-studying, over-burdening, and excessive academic anxiety/self-doubt does not make for a dedicated pupil, but an unbalanced and miserable human being.

21.

Text - Sounded Doughnut • 17h Being the "supportive" friend/significant other who will never say no even if it's a really bad idea.

22.

Text - MontgomeryBumSnuffle • 16h "Kindly let me help you or you'll drown, said the monkey safely putting the fish up a tree" - Alan Watts

23.

Text - Trip_The_3rd • 17h Woke companies. They are literally just trying to sell more shit by piggybacking onto whatever is the cause of the day.

24.

Text - jemdamos • 19h 1 Award Constantly being so quick to call people "toxic" just because you had a fight or disagreement and you don't like it. Obviously if someone truly is abusive mentally or physically then sure, l've cut a few people out of my life too. But the culture we have created has people cutting each other off over everything. No one learns loyalty, conflict resolution, no one is allowed to grow. Also, too many people have become to proud to acknowledge their wrongs and say sorry

25.

Text - iangeca • 21h People that "are always worried of you" but they are just expecting the moment you make a mistake or be under a bad situation so they can feel relieved their lifes are better than yours

26.

Text - japanesepopstars • 16h When you tell people about how you're feeling (to vent or when they ask how you're doing in general) and they one-up you to make you feel like you don't get to feel tired or sad or stressed etc cause they're clearly having it harder than you are. I was tired from school and work one day and I told my old roommate that I was feeling a little tired, and he hits me with "Oh YOU'RE tired? I only had 5 hours of sleep and I had to wake up early this morning cause I had PT

27.

Text - ElleCBrown • 20h Always being busy and constantly working hard. I have family members that call me lazy because I've created a life that doesn't revolve around constant grinding. Constantly being busy, getting up at the crack of dawn, always complaining about being tired, regularly talking about how there's just not enough time to do things they enjoy – all as if it's some badge of honor. -

28.

Text - MichizureB • 17h People who record themselves doing something nice for someone in need. I'm all for helping people but the minute you bring your own camera crew it loses all meaning.

29.

Text - dhavalaa123 • 19h People saying they did stuff that directly affects us without our permission for 'looking after your best interests'

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