Tuesday, May 19, 2020

Attempts At The English Language That Failed Miserably


Fully grasping any language is no easy matter. It's tough. And the English language is filled to the brim with difficulties it doesn't get enough credit for. Especially those strange spellings that just don't match up with how we envision the word being spelled, due to how it sounds. These attempts at the English language just crashed and burned in a pit of fail. 

1.

Yellow - RESPECT ARE-COUNTRY SPEAK ENGLİSH

2.

Food - february 28 @badgalzak just made me some synonym rolls zander @finah just like grammar used to make

3.

Snack - LAB SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF CHEESE WHO Am I TO DISS A BRIE? L CHEDDAR THE WRLD AN FETA CHEESE EVERY BODYS LOOKING FOR STILTON

4.

Text - wuyien taesmiine Source: egberts egberts: wordsmythologic: egberts: | im really pissed that palindrome isnt palindrome backwards Ah, yes but emordnilap is a word! An emornilap is any word that, when spelled backwards, produces another word. Examples of emordnilap pairs include: o desserts & stressed • drawer & reward • gateman & nametag o time & emit o laced & decal o regal & lager And therefore "emordnilap palindrome" is an emordnilap palindrome. Which I, for one, think is really frickin

5.

News - My baby going to kidney garden BEST FURK FU AED And you need to go with him

6.

Face - childish sadbino @datassque i love brazilians they be speakin porch of geese and I be like 80808 damn baby quack quack

7.

Vegetation - GROJ SALE

8.

Text - Black Jesus Follow @BullHunitProof "c-Jah" (noun) - that shit when you shake Jay Murphh > ( Recent (18) Messenger Shit got shut down not too long ago bro Ohh why what happen.? Somebody have a c-Jah Had I don't know to spell bro but it's that shit when you shake Imfao

9.

Blackboard - ... jeffreylewisband RADIOBREAD @tebaratin, WINNER 2014 DINERS CHOICE I'm a crepe I'm a weirdough Whate I donut beleng amI doughing here? here

10.

Text - Bubbles @TheNamesVee Do you know how sexy it is when he teases you in bed with a bird leaf KZA @FipAKoyin Omg she meant feather. Somebody has to bring me an inhaler.

11.

Text - killerkitty707 "Yoink" is the opposite of "Yeet" wierdrocks But it's just as fast viewtiful-kim The Lord yeeteth and the Lord yoinketh away

12.

Mason jar - Parma Jawn

13.

Text - David Burge @iowahawkblog Yes, English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Traducir del inglés 1/5/15 17:55 6.635 RETWEETS 5.029 FAVORITOS Take That, Vaccines! @TakeThatSalk 6m Hey @TekThatEnglish ...

14.

Text - Matthew Anderson Follow @MattAndersonBBC Things native English speakers know, but don't know we know: adjectives in English absolutely have to be in this order: opinion- size-age-shape-colour-origin-material-purpose Noun. So you can have a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife. But if you mess with that word order in the slightest you'll sound like a maniac. It's an odd thing that every English speaker uses that list, but almost none of us could write it out. A

15.

Text - buttlicked You're bad at grammar? *pats u on shoulder* their, they're, there. kissmycatastrophe I JUST SPIT MY CEREAL ALL OVER MY COMPUTER

16.

Text - direcartographies: fun fact: the reason that the plural of goose is geese but the plural of moose is not meese is because goose derives from an ancient germanic word undergoing strong declension, in the pattern of foot/feet and tooth/teeth, wherein oo is mutated to ee. however 'moose' is a native american word added to the english lexicon only ~400 years ago, and lacks the etymological reason to be pluralized in that way. Oh baby. Keep talking dirty to me.

17.

Text - pjo-superwholock-potterhead itsvondell you can take one man's trash to another man's treasure but you can't make it drink runtime-error Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor. My personal favorite is "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it." chromalogue I'm rather fond of "It's not rocket surgery" and "not the sharpest egg in the attic," but my all- time favourite is, "...until the cows freeze over." bowtochris You've opened this can of worms, now lie in it,

18.

Text - ofools not gonna say it again!!!! a BOG is a wetland that is acidic a FEN is a wetland that is alkaline vampireapologist FINALLY someone said it!!!!!! quasi-normalcy a SWAMP is a wetland whose vegetation consists of trees or other woody plants a MARSH is a wetland with other forms of vegetation lesbianshepard #A LITTLE LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

19.

Text - notquiteapolyglot To people who use "þ" as an aesthetic "p" þink again. tharook getting thorny in the linguistics fandom tkdancer þorny* solarine That also goes for using ß as an aesthetic B. On my old server, there was a character named Billyßadass. This never failed to make me laugh, because that letter is not pronounced like B. It is a sharp S. That guy named himself SsillySsadass. Source: notquiteapolyglot

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