Friday, October 9, 2020

Totally Random And Hilarious Tumblr Nuggets


The world of Tumblr is filled with rabbit holes and strange, yet hilarious observations about this strange thing we called existence. If you haven't gotten lost in a Tumblr thread about how Magenta isn't really a color, or maybe fallen down a different rabbit hole that was all about the scary monster plant that is Kudzu, then you clearly haven't really lived yet. 

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Text - bisexualbarbaragordon Evidence against the argument that Superman's disguise wouldn't fool anyone: adventurecomics • Dolly Parton once lost a Dolly Parton look alike contest to a fucking drag queen. • Charlie Chaplin once failed to even place at a Charlie Chaplin impersonator contest. Hugh Jackman went to comic con as Wolverine, only 2 people noticed him and one told him he was too tall. • Christopher Reeve use to go to a restaurant in costume when filming Superman. When he went in the Su

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Text - Freya C @Spdrcstl "What a nice sheep," I think as I gaze out at a field. The sheep, facing away, starts to raise its head. I stare in mounting horror as the head keeps rising, rising, neck elongating in some cursed spectacle that roots me to the spot in fear until I realise, oh, it's an alpaca brawltogethernow Thought this was going to be horror short fiction, but no, it's just rural. annaschmendrick the veil between rural and eldritch is far thinner than anyone wishes to guess Source:the

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Text - errorsanitynotfound: internetexplorers: why hasn't anyone offered my parents 5 camels for my hand in marriage yet what am i doing wrong its because you are worth at least 10 camels and they just cant afford you this is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me

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Text - biggest-gaudiest-patronuses imagine you're a middle-aged mom & you let your teenager invite some friends over & you bring them like, lemonade & cookies and crap, and 10 years later u find out one of those kids joined a band & wrote a top 100 song about how you were his puberty-fueled teenage sex dream and u have to spend the early 2000s listening to it play on overhead speakers every time u visit the mall all bc you tried to let your teenage daughter Stacy have a social life 2,037 notes >

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Text - E geistverrse I am literally begging, BEGGING modern media to portray healthy relationships. enough cheating. enough infidelity. enough disrespect. show me people who love each other, proper communication, and a strong mental as well as physical connection. I want plots about people who are madly in love with each other and STAY madly in love with each other. please. I am losing my mind.

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Text - prokopetz Honestly, if you see an angel that's all eyes and wings and wheels of fire, you should be worried. Like, not because it's going to hurt you or anything, but because scripturally, angels invariably appear to ordinary people in human form. In general, they only show their inhuman true forms to prophets - which | means if you're seeing them like that, they come bearing responsibility. domina-honoribila I woke up today with the phrase "spooky scary seraphim" in my head today, looks

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Facial expression - Dinner is on me! Yes! Nothing is better than free food! horizonindigo: #CollegeStudents fred you live in a mansion Source: dark-sexy-metal

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Text - xtraterrestrials my personal curse is the knowledge that I function best with rigid structure and strict routine but am almost totally incapable of independently establishing or maintaining that structure and routine curlyfrywho Don't forget this special feature: at the same time hating when people tell you what to do #me 61,754 notes

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Sand - rifa: therandominmyhead A wild MACHAMP appeared! Go! DUGTRIO! I tried to scroll past this but its too damn clever It has to be awkward being buried so close like that.

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Text - ironychan TIL astronaut Jack Schmidt discovered he was allergic to moon dust, which is a thing millions of other people have probably gone their whole lives never knowing. ironychan Imagine being one of only twelve guys ever to have the honour of walking on the moon and then when you get there you're allergic to it. sanctferum NASA scientist: you're back early Jack Schmidt: moon's an allergen NASA scientist: ...what? Jack Schmidt, loading an epipen and climbing back into the shuttle: moon

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Text - claup777 I admire people who do exercise with no music like you are putting your body in pain while being alone with your thoughts... that's double torture one-for-all-plus-ultra jaboukie young-white @jaboukie anyone at the gym with no headphones is training to avenge someone's death 7/3/18, 11:03 AM

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Text - the-last-girl-scout Boil up some mountain dew. It's gonna be a long night. cartoonfreack You could have said anything else E stopmakingthosedecisions Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, baja blast to fuel my trouble 4,194 notes

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Text - flashhwing we all make fun of Zuko for "that's rough buddy" but like. how the fuck are you supposed to respond when someone just nonchalantly says “my girlfriend turned into the moon" ככ #atla 63,261 notes

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Text - skeletOnx: theblogchoseme: If I text you back fast its not because Im thirsty its because my phone was in my hand at the time. The waiting to text people back on purpose shit is childish Finally somebody said it Source: theblogchoseme 309,761 notes ...

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Text - leftboob-enthusiast (to the tune of The Final Countdown) it's a mental breakdown thesilencedmasses *off-key kazoo* agoodkind After vine died we are reduced to text form vines

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Text - writing-prompt-s As you die, you wake up in a fiery place. You quickly realize you're in hell. You ask the next demon why you are there, as you lived a very good life. "You're not being punished", he says. “You are the punishment." E deadbonessinderhellaton You honk in joy. It's a lovely morning in Hell, and you are a horrible goose. Source: writing-prompt-s 28,112 notes

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Text - thistherapylife 2 sw-or-gtfo tumblr Follow someone: it starts at 4 so you should be here by 3:45 me: *arrives at 3:30 because I have to be early to being early* sw-or-gtfo left at 2:45, arrived at 3:15, sat in the car for 15 minutes so it wouldn't be weird thistherapylife It's me

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Text - cherenigans: do you think whoever was designing the default netflix avatar made a mistake somewhere but just sat there laughing at the result for so long that the whole design team decided to keep it

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Text - princesstigerbelle If cats knew what sin was they wouldn't even care imlizy I don't care either fuck trigonometry

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Text - smuganimebitch i don't really think the relationship between generation z and millennials is comparable to the relationship between baby boomers and millennials mostly because largely speaking. baby boomers are the parents of millennials but millennials aren't the parents of generation z smuganimebitch your older sibling telling you you're an idiot for eating laundry detergent just isn't the same thing as your parents berating you for not having a job in a shitty economy

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