Friday, August 14, 2020

Twitter Thread: Woman's Loving Friends Offer Beautiful Support


Sheila O'Malley's story about her friends taking a risk and intervening when she was too overwhelmed by grief to ask for the help she needed is a beautiful thing. Sometimes being a true and loving friend is stepping up for that person in your life who can't see what kind of hole they're in, and needs someone who cares enough to notice what's going, to step in and help get them out of it. This story's got all the feels. 

1.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen The year after my dad died was so bad I don't remember 90% of it. I moved to a new apt and was unable to unpack. For MONTHS. I was ashamed I couldn't unpack. How can you be UNABLE to unpack? Just open the g.d. boxes. That was the year I cried for 19 days. Straight. /1

2.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h My good friend David - whom l've known since high school - knew I was struggling and he felt helpless. He said "you are loved" "we need you". I was like, "Doesn't matter, but thanks." So he took a risk. It very well could have ended badly. I could have lashed out. /2 03 2742 O 777

3.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h I could have been really REALLY offended. But he took the risk. He sent out an email to a group of local friends (w/out my knowledge) and said, "Sheila is struggling. She needs our help. Let's all go over there and unpack her apartment for her. Bring food. Let's make it fun." /3 Q4 2745 926 Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h David sent me an email saying "will you be home Thursday night? Can I stop by?" I said "Sure." Sitting surrounded by 200 unpacked b

4.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h At 6 pm on Thursday night the doorbell rang and 10 of my friends barged in, bearing platters of food, cleaning products, and complete unconcern for my 'wait ... you CAN'T COME IN HERE I HAVEN'T UNPACKED YET" protestations. They ignored me and got to work. /5 2736 1,006

5.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h They unpacked my boxes. They put away my 1,500 books. They hung pictures for me. They organized my closet and put away all my clothes. Meanwhile, someone set up a taco-making station in the kitchen. People brought beer. By the end of the night, my apartment was all set up. /6 04 2739 O 1,314 Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h I literally was unable to do THE SIMPLEST THINGS. And nobody judged me. They were like superheroes sweeping in. One friend arrived

6.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h One of my friends basically took over hanging all of my posters and pictures. "I'm really good at measuring stuff. Let me put all these up in your hallway." I hovered, not wanting to give up control: "wait ... put that one there maybe?" She said, "Go away." I did. /8 01 27 25 934

7.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h And she was so much better at hanging stuff than I was! Here are my friends putting away my books. /9

8.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h Here's a break for dinner. Please note that my friend Sheila's dinner plate is resting on my DVD player. /10 27 26 1,199

9.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h I was overwhelmed at the sight of all of my crazy friends turning themselves into Santa's workshop. On my behalf. W/out asking me. They just showed up and barged in. I was embarrassed for like 10 minutes but they were all so practical and bossy I had no choice but to let that go.

10.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h At the end of the night, I looked at my friend's husband - a quiet tactiturn guy who drives a tugboat on the Hudson - practical, man of few words - and I just looked at him, speechless, not knowing how to say Thank You, especially to this tough resilient self-sufficient man. 2726 867

11.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h He looked at me, saw the look on my face, understood the look, understood everything that was behind it - and said, "Listen, baby, what we did today was a barn-raising." t750 O 2,045 Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h That's the end. The "ask for help" advice is well-meaning but not really thought through. There's shame, there's enforced helplessness, there's the feeling you're not worth it, etc. My friends didn't wait for me to ask. They showed up. They

12.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h When they all swept out of there 4 hours later, my place was a home. Not only was everything put away - but now it had a memory attached to it, a group memory, friends, laughing, dirty jokes, hard work. These are the kinds of friends I have. Be that kind of friend to others. 0 5 2783 O 1,979 Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h To reiterate: this plan could have backfired. I very well could have been offended, insulted, hurt. David took that risk. Being a

13.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h Here's a break for dinner. Please note that my friend Sheila's dinner plate is resting on my DVD player. /10 27 26 1,199

14.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h I was overwhelmed at the sight of all of my crazy friends turning themselves into Santa's workshop. On my behalf. W/out asking me. They just showed up and barged in. I was embarrassed for like 10 minutes but they were all so practical and bossy I had no choice but to let that go.

15.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h At the end of the night, I looked at my friend's husband - a quiet tactiturn guy who drives a tugboat on the Hudson - practical, man of few words - and I just looked at him, speechless, not knowing how to say Thank You, especially to this tough resilient self-sufficient man. 2726 867

16.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h He looked at me, saw the look on my face, understood the look, understood everything that was behind it - and said, "Listen, baby, what we did today was a barn-raising." t750 O 2,045 Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h That's the end. The "ask for help" advice is well-meaning but not really thought through. There's shame, there's enforced helplessness, there's the feeling you're not worth it, etc. My friends didn't wait for me to ask. They showed up. They

17.

Text - Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h When they all swept out of there 4 hours later, my place was a home. Not only was everything put away - but now it had a memory attached to it, a group memory, friends, laughing, dirty jokes, hard work. These are the kinds of friends I have. Be that kind of friend to others. 0 5 2783 O 1,979 Sheila O'Malley @sheilakathleen 7h To reiterate: this plan could have backfired. I very well could have been offended, insulted, hurt. David took that risk. Being a

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