Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Tumblr Gold Harvested From Tumblr's Rabbit Holes


We're always up for more Tumblr gold. This collection of strange and hilarious Tumblr gems doesn't disappoint. If you're still hungry for more funnies from Tumblr after this list, check out another collection of random moments from Tumblr over here.

1.

Text - I feel like you'll appreciate this photo I took several years ago when I was in school of a raven getting spooked by something in the bushes theshitpostcalligrapher Quoth the Raven. ΑλλλλλλλΝ

2.

Text - ragingbomer: ragingbomer: so we had 3 bottles of shampoo and O bottles of conditioner then mum came home excited that she bought ten bottles of conditioner on sale it turns out she bought shampoo now we have 13 bottles of shampoo and 0 bottles of conditioner here's another fun little tidbit the shampoo she bought is for premium blonde to sand dune coloured hair i am your child have you ever SEEN ME WE ARE ASIAN GODDAMNIT Source: renloras

3.

Text - justspilledcoffee Hey guys didI mention I live on a fucking weird island and sometimes land crabs with 8-inch claws try to get into my house scotchtapeofficial cute puppy what breed is he purified-zone sideways Source: justspilledcoffee

4.

Tree - magicalgirlwandamaximof: dekutreeDeactivated: beelzeburg: This is... not any less creepy in daylight me when I wake up late Groot's cousin that they don't like to invite to family reunions

5.

Text - O hymnsofheresy have y'all ever had communion bread that was just so..nasty? like i know we have to suffer as christians, but do we really need to have whole wheat bread as the body of christ? hymnsofheresy my old church used hawaiian bread. my standards are high missweber Some old housemates of mine were Syrian Orthodox. At their church different members of the church took turns baking the bread that would be consecrated for the Eucharist. This was all well and good until one woman baked

6.

Text - yourfairyqueermother @the-geico-lizard the-geico-lizard our brethren die for the bread we must obtain it for them Dont Eat DRUGS images-that-are-only-cursed He saved 15% by switching to Geico and got lost in all the bread

7.

Text - personsonable me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I'M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU miaislying Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean? personsonable decay exists as an extant form of life miaislying That's a terrifying answer, h

8.

Food - Just whipped up a gore May dinner! Osteoporosis wroughtornot this "bon appetit" meme has turned into some sort of bizarre telephone game where each incarnation sounds more and more different than the original. in what way does "bon appetit" sound like "osteoporosis" lady-dainty i don't know but it's cracking me up every time i even think about it wearejustvisiting guys guys guys 'osteoporosis' is a disease in which bone mass decreases so they mean fucking "Bone Atrophy"

9.

Text - trombono tumblr. Follow E teleroboxer-remade-deactivated2 chen000 how to draw a sheep: draw a cloud, legs, a circle for the head and there you have it a sheep chen000 someone draw a sheep using these instructions trombono this rly helped i think this is the best sheep i have EVER drawn!!! 489,344 notes

10.

Text - furrypost-generator 0000 the trolley problem but instead it's a catboy or a werewolf furrypost-generator peeboyinferior Throw myself in front of the trolley to protect them arbor-viridanus Werewolves can only be killed by silver. Let the trolley run over the werewolf, it will survive. furrypost-generator 0000 tumblr user arbor-viridanus's silver trolley one must die lotus-of-light I eat the werewolf's ass. This solves none of the problems but I die doing what i loved. furrypost-generator

11.

Text - supremesaudi She was poetry, but he couldn't read." i-hold-the-snitch His name was jarred hes nineteen artsekey When his parents built a very strange machine dothepropaganda watch that scene dig in the dancing queen aftermath-meme aaaay macarena

12.

Text - reallyreallyreallytrying people say dolphins are smart but there not smart enough to not be Shity grey rubber tubes flappin about in the gotdamn ocean mystic-bullshitt *they're reallyreallyreallytrying congratulations! you are the piss lord of shit mountain. thank u for hefting turds down the mountainside so that we, the proles, may feast on your bounteous craps mosticonicposts certified iconic post 357,933 notes

13.

Text - just-shower-thoughts Do Deaf people understand puns? Are there some combinations of sign language which are hilariously ambigious? mad-yet-glad Signing the word milk when moving it pas your eyes is "pasteurized milk" (past your eyes milk) mugasofer That's appalling. Have a like.

14.

Text - may this spoonful of honey i just had is the best darn honey ive had in my life . find me the bee who is responsible thebeeresponsibleforthishoney *blushes* Source: may

15.

Text - acepalindrome Follow My brother decided to teach his two and a half year old that Mommy and Daddy have names and there is nothing funnier than seeing a cranky toddler turn to his mom and say 'leave me alone, Meredith. #he only uses their names when hes mad and it kills me every time he does it 54,241 notes A

16.

Text - lotterywinnersonacid Today a student emailed over a draft of his es- say on 1984 and had clearly used a thesaurus on every single word, and how I know this is because the the party slogan 'Big Brother is watching you' had become 'Enormous Sibling is viewing you' and I lauged so hard I cried wellmanicuredman you: big brother me, an intellectual: enormous sibling Source: lotterywinnersonacid 5,100 notes L

17.

Text - deoxyhemoglobin: I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him I looked him in they eye and told him "you're bleeding because you don't floss" and he went dead silent

18.

Text - dracobaby harry potter starts a youtube channel and all of his videos are called like: "STORY TIME:I WAS A TEENAGE CHOSEN ONE" "BABYSITTING MY FRIEND'S WEIRD DEAD HORSE (INVISIBLE)" "THERE ARE DARK WIZARDS TRYING TO KILL ME BUT ONLY THREE PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT MY HOUSE" dracobaby would like to add to this post and say that harry is uploading these videos to standard muggle youtube. people see this kind of scruffy, obviously Fucked Up kid rambling nonsense into his deskptop camera and just thi

19.

Gerbil - mr sandman violetswhiskey bring me a rat violetswhiskey make it the softest that i've ever pat wormbabie

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