Tuesday, July 7, 2020

Facepalm Moments From The Dimmest Bulbs


We all fall prey to brain farts, and sometimes those brain farts end up manifesting in unbelievably clueless statuses for the rest of the online world to tear into with ferocious passion. Outside of the brain farts, the internet also invites a whole lot of blind ignorance. If we're lucky, we get to see those folks called out by some remarkable retorts.

1.

Transport - Outdoor yoga in a dome pop-up coming to Toronto cp24.com/news/ Danny @Danny_MAZE So we just let the homeless sleep in the fucking rain and snow because why?

2.

Text - 4 days ago Hey jackass, we use MPH in this country. 1 ^ | v 12 Reply 3 days ago Wheels is an Australian magazine, we use metric measurements. 12 ^ | v Reply 16 hours ago You're on the internet, which is American. Therefore you can use American (the best) measurements. 시 ▼6 Reply 3 hours ago Attually, the world wide web was first developed in CERN. I don't blame you for not knowing that, you're apparently an American.

3.

Text - The elevator doors opened up and a guy walked in the elevator. It was just me and him in there and he said "I love you." And I'm not rude so I said "I love you too". He gave me a weird look and pointed at his Bluetooth.

4.

Skin - This is what happens when you put a penny in a microwave for 2 minutes LIBERTY Yo you just made me start a fire in the house

5.

Text - Just read something about replacing "I'm sorry" with "thank you". So, instead of saying "sorry I was late", say "thank you for waiting for me". Replacing negativity with positivity and gratitude and breaks the "i'm sorry" cycle. Powerful. 10 2.8K 285 Comments • 1.1K Shares Like Comment Share de Thank you for letting me sleep with your sister. >

6.

Text - C6'3.Slim.Bahamiank If you use facial recognition for anything..the govt has your face lol Tash THEE Baé Wait until you find out about driver licenses.

7.

Text - IF YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER WAS THE AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU HAD... HOW RICH WOULD YOU BE??? fonzworthcutlass $34,523,2674 gochellzgo 93,780,9632 boystop 585,214,172 sexualified Hold up..

8.

Vehicle - What color should I paint my wheels for the strip this year??? 138 102 Comments O Like Comment Mike Why didn't you just take the fuckin wheels off...

9.

Technology - ellentube #TheEllenShow #Ellen #EllenDeGeneres Can This Teenager Use a Rotary Phone? 2.7M views 4 days ago 56K 6.6K Share Download Save day ago "Oh look at these stupid kids. They can't use a rotary phone. They can't use a phone book." M Wow, it's almost like as technology advances, older things slowly become useless and obsolete. Kind of like Ellen...

10.

Text - iwouldliketobutteryourmuffins S takineko Follow REI tilthat TIL blind people have a hard time drawing because they interpret the world as three-dimensional and struggle to portray it as two-dimensional. via reddit.com worlds-leading-gnome-expert And here I am, an idiot, thinking it's because they cant see Source: tilthat 3,920 notes

11.

Text - NOBODY IS ENTITLED TO CHARGE UP ANY MOBILE PHONES OR OTHER ELECTRICAL DEVICES ON THESE PREMISES. IT IS THEFT OF ELECTRICITY AND YOU MAY FIND A DEDUCTION HAS BEEN MADE FROM YOUR PAY. PHONES SHOULD BE SWITCHED OFF.

12.

Text - Brittani Nichols @BisHilarious Called a restaurant to make a reservation but couldn't think of the word so asked for a food appointment and now I can never show my face there again

13.

Text - Ingredients 1/2 cup rice 1/2 cup water 11 milk 1/4 cup sugar 1 tsp vanilla essence REVIEWER: DATE: 01-06-2015 19:13:50 RATING: **★★* I was wanting to use up some full cream milk. bought by mistake instead of light milk., and came across this recipe. Have just cooked it and the rice is so beautiful and creamy l only added 1/3 cup of sugar as my husband doesn't like things too sweet, and it's perfect for us. Thank you very much for posting.

14.

Text - Friend has been complaining about finding an avocado on his lawn every day for weeks now. Why would someone keep throwing avocados in his yard? Who would do that? You guys he just realized he has an avocado tree 8:51 PM · 8/22/19 · Twitter for iPhone 2,213 Retweets 22.9K Likes

15.

Text - Tony Hawk O @tonyhawk girl at restaurant: "Are you Tony Hawk?" me: "Yes." her: "Why?" I had no idea how to answer. >

16.

Text - What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard? Discussion 7.0k 6.9k 1, Share BEST COMMENTS VnGChrome • 3h 1 Award I drive for Uber on the weekends and one time a girl who was in her late 20's told me that I was making her uncomfortable. I haven't said a word the whole trip so I asked how I could make the situation better. She said she didn't like how i kept "playing with the fidget stick in the middle of my car." I drive a manual. She then told me that I didn't need to use that because "her

17.

Text - Snee ee Thusds Jewant il Here is the schedule hey, i think you have the wrong number Then what is your number because I have the 51 that is my number Read 11:36 AM Ok then why did you say I have the wrong number because i'm not...the person you're trying to text

18.

Text - Murphy's law states that the best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question; it's to post the wrong answer. What are some examples where you applied this law? ఎం 1 000 Answer Follow Request More 1 ANSWER David Donnelly, Freelancer Answered Nov 20, 2018 This is Cunningham's Law and not Murphy's Law. Murphy's Law is “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong". via @ReddlyApp

19.

Text - Dude I just spent an hour arguing with half the fucking company that there can't be 60 grams of sugar in a 50 gram gummy worm I was called a fucking moron, and that while I might know math I don't know shit about science I was also told that if you added salt to water it doesn't increase in mass or weight either, because it dissolves Furthermore, I was told that if you have ice and melt it into water, it'll weigh less The last two were arguments made to convince me that I was wrong about

20.

Junk food - THAN OUR 12 OZ. French's Since 1904 DELI MUSTARD SPICY BROWN Dali 100% natural, gluten free. no fat. 18 OZ. (510 g) 8173491 How is 18oz 50% more than 12oz?

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