Monday, March 30, 2020

Clever and Literal Jokes that are Technically Correct


There's a time and place for overly literal puns, stupid moments and clever jokes. That time and place is here and now. Technically accurate jokes might make you feel smart, but who knows. They're right, but kinda not. They're just technically correct.

1.

Drink - Lamps in video games are using real electricity

2.

Text - BSPORTS Tyler larning Teegraph O MACH mu cOM WHAT'S GOING ON IN SPORTS? 28

3.

Text - Tweet Twitter Gaming O @TwitterGa... · 11h v What's the game that best describes you? O 1.853 27 186 5.667 1 Destiny 2 0 @DestinyTheGame Antwort an @TwitterGaming Destiny 2 19:28 · 03.03.20 · Twitter Web Client

4.

Text - HOW BEAUTIFUL IT IS TO FIND SOMEONE WHO ASKS FOR NOTHING BUT YOUR COMPANY. BRIGITTE NICOLE Grve me ur company company

5.

Text - Pahasapa66 • 4h 9, 9 6 Awards In 1665, the University of Cambridge temporarily closed due to the bubonic plague. Isaac Newton had to work from home, and he used this time to develop calculus and the theory of gravity. So, if you are shut down and sent home, be like Issac. Do something productive. Reply 2.6k Characterofournation • 4h MrCaul · 3h AngusBoomPants • 58m Newton didn't have dark souls 3 with DLC Vote

6.

Adaptation - Erika Marie KREAM 2 hrs · A I know this is way off sneaker topic but i know this group has a lot of talented people .. can someone put wings on this picture Marlow Franco 1h Like Reply 94 Erika Marie Marlow Franco this isn't a joking matter 1h Like Reply

7.

Text - Rads @FeelingEuphoric THERAPIST: listen, I really need you to relax ME: "banging fists on table* BUT HOW CAN IT BE "BIRTHDAY CAKE" FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR

8.

Rat - Comments 8.5K Add a public comment... John James Rambo • 2 years ago dont let the video fool you, seals are dangerous. i heard a group of them killed bin laden t 16K 目282 VIEW 282 REPLIES ...

9.

Text - Who knew red & yellow went so well together Derrick @_ayosworldd McDonald's

10.

Text - Sarah ® @SarahEliza_99 cheese is just a loaf of milk 2:21 PM · 22 Jul 19 · Twitter for iPhone She's right and I'm scared urbanfantasyinspiration This implies a liquid form of bread i-am-the-broken-bride Beer urbanfantasyinspiration FUCK Posted in r/tumblr by u/LordofNarwhals reddit

11.

Product - Wanna see me look like a snack Read 12:27 PM Yes pls I'm a sundae Delivered

12.

Floor - just got my new slow cooker

13.

People - • 7 months ago You technically only have 2 minutes to live, but every time you inhale oxygen, it resets the timer. 23K E 499 It's hard to argue with his assessment.

14.

Line - Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Turtles Lizards Snakes Crocodiles Birds Chickens appear here A Sketching Science Eggs already existed here

15.

Text - Kevin Hart @KevH2_205 Just heard a woman caught robbing in Tesco say to security "if it wasn't for people like me mate you wouldn't have a fucking job", that's one way to look at it tbf

16.

Fiction - EXPERIENCE WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY REALI REALLY ACTUAL REALITY Want GOGGLES ACTUAL REALITY! 2430 IT'S JUST LIKE REAL LIFE... BECAUSE IT IS! INSTRUCTIONS: 1. CUT THEM OUT! 2. PUT THEM ON! 3. GET BLOWN AWAY! REAL! WOW! YCOOL! ACTUAL! IMPRESSIVE! FOA REE USE TAPE! FOLL HERE CUT LEFE A SLOT HER

17.

Text - Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex. Jesus Christ has left the chat

18.

Text - LetsGoToMarsDude @ma... - 17u v Als antwoord op @catholicourtney Pompeii last week. Literally nobody there. Unheard of. ASA O 10 27104 820 Martin Schranz @martinp... 13u l'd say it happened once before. Q 16 2770 ♡ 2.229 1

19.

Line - 8W=2+F(x-2)+1' g6) =2-V--2)+1 h4)=3x-3 i (k)=-3x+9 j«)=0,2x+1,7 2.

20.

Text - what rhymes with orange no it doesn't

21.

Face - The word "bed" looks like a bed

22.

Floor - It's March now. Spring is right around the corner

23.

Shower - Every naked person i see, turns me on CCC

24.

Text - This product contains peanuts.

25.

Chicken - @backtOnature Chicken can't afford an umbrella so she uses her wings to keep her chicks out of the raint DB I @david_belle "Can't afford' It's a chicken.

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