Bread Memes to Fall In Loaf With

Bread. Ducks love it. But can we blame them? Because we love it to. Maybe we don't love it enough to eat wet bread out of a scummy pond, but we haven't tested it. For much of us, our loyalty to bread stops at the floor.

Many of us consider our relationship with carbs to be an affair of sorts. They're late nights of sordid bread-having, paying no attention to the number of slices that might disappear between our greasy lips. And the next morning, waking up in an empty bed, absolutely covered in crumb.

We love bread. It's lighter and fluffier than potatoes, and it's by far the best form of carb to garlicify. Honestly it's a shame that it's even related to oatmeal in any way. Poor oatmeal. It just can't get anything right. When you need to lean that heavily on brown sugar, you know you've failed as a food.

Anyway here are memes about bread, the Beatles of carbohydrates.

Wholesome Maintenance Guy Gets Tired Of TV Company Exploiting Old Folks, Runs His Own Cable

TV and internet service providers might be some of the most universally disliked companies on the planet. Almost no one can say that they've had an excellent time dealing with customer service for a company like this, and extremely simple problems are notoriously difficult to resolve, frequently at the expense of the customer themselves. There's a whole lot of "so you're telling me I have to pay you money because of a mistake you've made." And it's not like you'll ever get to talk to Mr. Satellite. You can only deal with a poor customer service person who's job is to get yelled at on behalf of the garbage company they have the misfortune of working for.

Anyway, this person said "no" to all that and on behalf of 200 elderly residents just did the thing themselves. Not bad.

For some more nice stuff, here are wholesome moments to tap into the feels.

23 People Share Things That Smell Good But Shouldn't

Smell is a very strange thing. Most of the time it makes sense, but it's easy to get duped. It's not hard to find yourself pining after the smell of something that has no nutritional or sentimental value. There's no evolutionary benefit to being attracted to the smell of gasoline, but here we are, spending a little bit too much time filling up so that we can get in a few delicious whiffs of expensive go-go juice.

Sometimes it's connected to a certain memory. We'll find ourselves wanting to smell a few pens just because they take us back to the good old days. But other times, for no reason, a terrifically hazardous chemical will smell like maple syrup, and we just have to sit there wondering if we're insane. 

No, it's the chemical's fault for smelling like breakfast. Anyway, it's a bad idea to huff paint, even for nostalgia purposes.

Man Sits in Pouring Rain Right Outside of Cafe For Some Inexplicably Important Work Zoom Call

Yes, his computer broke

Entitled Idiot Won't Let Guy In Elevator, Gives Him Longest Elevator Ride of His Life

There are some types of behavior that are brazenly entitled. Acts that make this non-exclusive list include cutting queues in traffic, snapping at your waiter, and refusing to let other people into a public elevator. 

Well, this entitled idiot made the list when they refused to let a stranger who lived in the building into their elevator for no good reason.

The abandoned would-be rider then took matters into their own hands and did what any of us would do when faced with this situation. They took to the staircase. Not only to get to the ground floor to meet their waiting guest but to exact a little revenge upon the entitled idiot elevator guy. 

As they ran down the stairs, they were sure to hit the elevator call button on every floor. Ensuring that the entitled idiot would have the longest elevator ride of his life.

This thread was posted to Reddit's r/AITA (Am I the A--Hole) subreddit by Redditor u/agieluma, who tells their tale of this beautiful, relatable, and simplistic revenge. 

See selected screenshots of their story and the internet's reactions below. 

Divorced Brother Won't Stop Insulting Dude's Wife, He Kicks Him To The Curb

So this piece of work found himself staying with his brother and sister-in-law after a messy divorce, and instead of just being chill about it, he thought it'd be a good move to constantly talk about his brother's wife. Apparently her current physique wasn't "up to his standards" as if his opinion on that matters to anyone at all, and felt the need to criticize her on multiple occasions. Most of us might have the common sense to know that this is a stupid thing to do in general, let alone when you need a place to stay. But he wouldn't stop, and OP had enough of his idiocy. It makes it a little easier to understand how this guy ended up having marital problems in the first place. Dude needs a clue about how to talk to people like a human being.

For another tale of brotherly retribution, here's the brother who stood up for the cheated on ex and obliterated his brother in his wedding speech.

21 Dating Red Flags That Are Way Too Common

Everyone likes to say that dating is "weird now" but it's not like people haven't had massive problems building and maintaining relationships for all of human existence. Most Shakespeare plays are about this kind of garbage. Romeo and Juliet quite literally ghosted each other. Y'know, by dying.

But at the same time, life is too short to make all these mistakes yourself. So it's better to just learn about other people's experiences with boring, toxic, narcissistic or manipulative partners rather than ignoring all the signs and pushing forward through one train wreck after another. Even actual train wrecks only stop once, but one person can find themselves in one bad relationship after another.

Anyway, here are some pretty common signs that maybe it's time to rethink things. And here are some more glaring red flags that made people dip out of relationships.

Musical Memes for the Lyrically-Minded

Life is challenging, and we only have so many coping mechanisms that don't make us dehydrated or cause severe headaches. Among these are memes and music. So why not combine the two? Combining your favorite things is always a recipe for success, except maybe in the case of chocolate and dogs. We love 'em both, but separately.

Maybe one of the amazing things about music memes is that you're reminded of just how many references are filling up your skull. It makes you ask yourself, "why is my brain able to recall thousands of extremely specific sound bites when I also can't for the life of me remember where I parked."

Is there a limit to the number of Mr. Brightside references someone can make before they stop being painfully relatable and perfectly funny? So far the answer has been "no, and honestly we're upset that you are even asking."

Karen Gets Destroyed By Business Owner After Leaving 1-Star Review

There's a certain net of safety that the (rapidly evaporating) anonymity provides to us. After all, there is a reason that the term 'Keyboard Warrior' exists. It's easy to let the darker and more aggressive parts of your personality emerge when you stand to face no consequence for whatever you may do or say.

This same principle is why online review systems are the absolute worst. Any entitled idiot can just go online and frame their experience in whatever way they please without the other side of the story having a chance to be told. These review systems are directly responsible for giving us malarkey like the "The Customer is Always Right" corporate mindset, which has resulted in mass dehumanization and exploitation of retail and service industry workers. After all, whatever the customer says online is apparently the truth, so you had better make sure that each and every one leaves satisfied at whatever the cost. 

This constant stream of soul-draining exchanges makes retail and service a living hell, so it's always gratifying to see an owner take these people on with replies to set the story straight. 

Glitch in the Matrix: Couple Go on Movie Date, But Cannot Find a Single Soul Working There, End Up Seeing 2 Movies for Free

Sounds like the ideal date, tbh…

Shady Client Refuses to Pay Accountant So He Just Reports Them to the IRS

If you're doing something that is illegal, whether downright or just technically, it's always best to make sure that there isn't anyone who can rat you out. The best way to do this is the mafioso way of tying up loose ends… We're talking horse heads in beds, bodies six feet underground, maybe the occasional shallow grave. After all, dead men tell no tales. (Wait that last one is a pirate thing.)

If you're a member of the Sopranos this type of thing might be an effective strategy but the rest of us have another option. It's pretty simple and it goes like this… "Don't f--k with the people who prep your food or do your dirty laundry." It's a similar philosophy to "Don't break two laws at the same time." At a certain point of combining factors and risk, you're just asking for it. 

This epic tale was posted to the r/ProRevenge subreddit by Redditor u/redditadmindumb87 who shared their friend's story of the revenge that they exacted on a shady client.

It's a long read but well worth the time.

Fed-Up Lecturer Insists Breastfeeding Law School Graduate Turns Her Web Cam On, Gets What He Asked For

"Ask, and you shall receive." This breastfeeding mother ensured that this verse held true with her response to her lecture's demands to turn on her web camera during an online training session.

She had, before the lecture, let the presenter know that she was going to be keeping her camera off to keep her sick baby fed when she needed to be. Despite this, the lecturer called her out and told her that she needed to have her camera on "So that he knew [she] was paying attention."

This thread was posted to Reddit's r/maliciouscompliance subreddit by Redditor u/bittyboo242, a new mother who recently graduated from Law School. She shared her story to the popular subreddit with the title, "Sure, I'll turn my webcam on." as a nod to her actions of malicious compliance.

Commenters voiced their support for her actions.

"Wonder what he was expecting." user AngryCod mused. 

See images of u/bittyboo242's story and Reddit's below. 

Distressed Mother Takes Baby Formula From Hoarder's Cart, Asks Internet If She Was Wrong

This thread was posted to Reddit's r/AITA (Am I the A--Hole) subreddit by a distressed mother, posting from a "throwaway" account 
u/throwawayformula893. u/throwawayformula893 wants to know if she was wrong for her actions during the incident that occurred while she was trying to find baby formula to feed her child. 

This isn't something that we would typically be able to voice support for. Typically snatching things out of other people's shopping carts would be highly antisocial. Even in this situation, it crosses some of the lines that societal norms set. But, that being said, was it an unethical move? Hoarding during a crisis or emergency is undoubtedly unethical. This must mean defying a societal norm to make sure that you stop these people (and get what you need to survive) is ethical. 

Looking at the situation in this way seems to be the reason why Reddit ended up voting "NTA" (Not the A--Hole) on this thread, despite the immediate issues with this mother's actions. 

User poddy_fries touched on this line of thinking with their comment, "Y'know, sometimes the question isn't if you're TA, it's that it's not always morally wrong to be TA. Edit: NTA"

What's your take here? TA (The A--Hole) or NTA (Not the A--Hole), or does Everyone Suck Here (ESH)?

Keep reading to see screenshots of the original post and the internet's responses below. 

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Double Take-Inducing Image of Things That Look Like Other Stuff

The human eye is a magnificent thing, capable of discerning between incredibly minute shades and hues, able to make meaning out of things that are terrifically great distances away. The human eye will also look at corn and go "what's up with that lady." Maybe the easy-dupability of the human eye is a good analogy for the duality of humans in general. We're all capable of incredible feats of self-determination and creativity, but we're also the people who will jump at the chance to spend 35 dollars on a T-shirt with an opossum on it. Not that that's a particularly bad use of money. It just is what it is. But some things? Some things aren't what they look like they are. And we think that those things are pretty fun to look at.

Like these great many confuzzling moments of skewed perspective or these things that look like other stuff.

25 Of The Creepiest Things People's Kids Said

There's no shortage of the wildly creepy things kids say. The fact that they're new here, just trying to get a handle on reality, and also don't really know what is appropriate to say in any given context leads them to spill some terrifically creepy junk. It could be that they don't have a perfect lock on their imaginations, but for some reason it's pretty common for them to wake up in the middle of the night and insist something like "the man with the long nails stands over my bed" or something just as bonkers. And it's not like they should be ignored outright for fear that they're actually describing something real, but for the most part we all have to assume that they're saying this kind of stuff because, for the most part, kids are dumber than bushels of hammers.

All we can hope is that they grow up to be less creepy adults.

Airbnb Host Returns to a Wrecked Home Covered in Blood & Feces, Guest was a High-Rated NYU Professor

She had to get a biohazard clean up and is now treating it like a crime scene. 

Internet Backs Husband Who Denied Coworkers' Demands to Stop His Wife From Putting Notes in His Lunch

This husband's coworkers approached him to ask that he ask his wife to cease a playful ritual that the pair had shared for the past year. When he had been having issues with employment, his wife had started putting notes in his lunch to brighten his day; even after he got through his rough patch, the tradition continued and continued to positively affect his life.

His coworkers told him to ask his wife to stop after a new coworker joined the team. The coworker had recently lost his wife and was having his grief triggered by lunch notes. The coworkers felt that it was only fair that the notes stopped altogether. The husband refused and told them that it was ridiculous. 

This thread was posted to Reddit's r/AITA (Am I the A--Hole) subreddit by the husband under the throwaway account u/Jimmythrow5677. He posted the topic to the popular sub to get the readers' opinions as to whether or not he was in the wrong for his response.

Commenters ultimately decided that he was "NTA" (Not the A--Hole) for this and that the coworkers' demands were ridiculous. They told him not to change a thing and noted how sweet the exchange with his wife was.

"NTA at all," the top comment by PoseyCircles stated. "Your marriage and the way your wife expresses her love is your business. It's unfortunate about Jimmy but that's a massive boundary he crossed. Are you all never allowed to mention your wives again?

How long is this supposed to last?

I feel sorry for him but it's out of order to expect your wife to stop the notes."

What's your take on the situation? Was this a reasonable request?

Scroll on to see the original post and Reddit's reactions. 

25 Funny, Random and Shiny Tumblr Gems

Tumblr is like a Walmart of weird ideas. Just like how you can walk into a Walmart and pick up a rack of ribs, a fishing pole and a shirt that says "Whomst farted" you can waltz on over to Tumblr and see someone's erotic goblin-core novella, forty puns about the ancient Greeks, and a portrait of Austin Powers made of beef. And what it might lack in freaky Walmart customers it makes up for in freaky anonymous strangers. It's an interesting place to expand your horizons.

But of all the twisted menageries of bad poetry and stories from people's childhoods, the one thing you're sure to find, for some stupid reason, is someone's earnest observations on Scooby Doo. Without fail. It's good to know that that's what's really bubbling up from the collective unconscious. Okay, that or Ratatouille. It's a good movie, but like, dude.

Here are some more ridiculous, random and stupendous Tumblr gems.

Teacher Accused Of Time Theft, Turns Out School Owes Them 10 Times As Much

Most employees are way too used to having their contract used against them. Whenever someone is asked to sign something without being given the time to read it, we're rightfully, deeply suspicious that there could be some stipulation folded into the legalese that says our boss could eat our lunch out of the fridge and that we're contractually obligated to provide them with a lobster bib. It's just so much reading.

So when we hear about times someone's contract was actually used to help them stand up to their jerk boss, it's a good time.

A contract disagreement led this teacher to be confronted with a piece of paper saying that they owed their employer money based on misreporting of hours. This caused someone to look into his certifications and realize that he'd actually been underpaid the whole time.

For another tale, here's the teacher who was told to quit their second job, so they quit their teaching job.

Entitled People And Their Fantastically Bold Moves

Most of us have a pretty decent idea of how to treat other people. We've cultivated a sense of decorum for what's appropriate to ask of others, and we are mostly capable of self-reflecting enough to not display terrific acts of ignorance or selfishness on a daily basis. And then there are the entitled people who make everyone's day worse. The boss who calls you lazy for only doing your job and his. The lady at the end of the street who sends out a neighborhood watch post because your car isn't nice enough. The random stranger on facebook marketplace who demands that not only should you deliver him your old phone, but that you should pay him for the opportunity.

It's unclear if these people think the rest of us are stupid, or if they're so far gone that they see no use in having any self-awareness. But one thing's for sure; its an absolutely wild time actually paying attention to the BS they try to pull.

The Top Tinder Moments of the Week (May 31, 2022)

Welcome to this week's "Top Tinder Moments," a treasure trove of the hottest trending online-dating related items of the past week. 

Tinder can be an abyss of despair where all of your hopes and dreams of ever finding true love go to die... Which is why it's always nice to pan for those little nuggets of gold from such a despondent place.

This week's batch has its fair share of "thirsty" bios. Some lovely ladies and gents who like to lay it all out there and be as forward as possible. 

There's also the weekly "caught cheater" post that we've been seeing consistently the last few weeks. These posts usually are an obviously-edited bio of the caught cheater or a "revenge bio" that has been posted by their vengeful partner. 

Sift on through your pile of corpses and maybe you'll find the one. But remember, it only takes one. 

25 People Share The Most Embarrassing Moment They've Witnessed

It's all fun and games until you poop yourself at school.

If you find yourself dogged by your own cringey memories, it's important to remember that no one remembers 99% percent of the embarrassing things you've done. We're all so self-involved that even if you have spent sleepless nights thinking about how you thanked your server wrong, your anxiety is overblown and of no value to anyone.

 That said, if you slipped on a banana peel and your pants split perfectly down the middle, then you accidentally farted in a way that sounded like "Taps" then yeah, people remember that. People remember it and they laugh and laugh and laugh. About you. Your scared face is burned into their brains and every time they do something minorly embarrassing, they use your screw up as an example for how what they did wasn't that bad.

Anyway, here are some times people didn't forget about.

Scammy Landscaper Gets Done-Over For Sale Deception

This thread was posted to Reddit's r/ProRevenge subreddit by the avenger's friend, Redditor u/Three-Nations, who tells the story of how their friend got even with a scammer after the scammer tried to cheat them over a used water heater that they had sold. 

The scammer came back several weeks after the sale trying to tell the friend that it was not working. The friend offered a full refund for the sale. 

Instead, they received a $400 invoice for the "repairs" of the water heater and told the friend that if it was not sent over they were going to send them to debt collection. 

The friend decided to just pay the invoice and let that be the end of things. That is, until they overheard a conversation in a bar…

A loudmouth employee of the scammer's company told him that the entire ordeal had been a scam and even confirmed the scammer was her boss who owned the company.

This would lay the foundations for their revenge.

Read on for screen-grabs of u/Three-Nations's full story and the reactions below. 

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Girl Takes her Parents to 'Karen's Diner' Without Warning Them the Staff is Meant to be Obnoxiously Rude

For the Karen's and Gentle-Karen's

Woman Instructed to Dress as Trashy as Possible for First Date; Takes the Challenge Very Seriously

Themes are not optional

Gems From Scottish Twitter That Definitely Make Sense On Some Level

Language is fascinating. It's one of those things that's always changing and evolving. Every corner of the world has its own words for things, and that's even within one spoken language. Two speakers of the same language might even have a hard time understanding each other based on pronunciation differences or specialized jargon. Scottish Twitter is one of those shining examples of language being used in ways that both shock and amaze. These language acrobats are using nouns and verbs in ways we never thought possible, and the internet is all the better for it.

We're like 90% sure that we understand what's being said in these tweets. Outside of that we just gotta start googling up all these terrific slang words for things. Scottish Twitter. There's just nothing else quite like it. So break out the Irn Bru and get to pushin your peepers into these sweet sweet tweets.

Grandma Leaves Life Savings To Mooch Aunt, Gets Paid Out In $10 Installments

Family can be a hassle. And when you have one family member that refuses to be responsible, it's a lot harder to turn your back on them than it would be a non-relative. This makes it much more difficult to navigate their BS, especially when money gets involved. Add to that the tension of a passing loved one and you've got a minefield to deal with.

In a fitting moment, this miserable parasite of an aunt managed to finagle her mother's last 700 dollars. But before she could do more dishonor by grubbling up that money, another aunt decided to do a nice little petty disservice to her twisted sister and pay out the deathbed cash in a series of terrifically inconvenient installments.

It's one of those nice little inconveniences that makes the world a more interesting place. For another tale of installment revenge, here's the tenant who had to pay an unfair fine so he ended up paying back in 37 installments.

Absolute Units Whose Bigness Knows No Bounds

Our own lives tend to feel small. The things we do, the places we go, and the people we see are all basically pretty normal sized. But then, every once in a while, we get to witness something of uncommon bigness. "Dear sweet fancy Moses!" we say to ourselves. "Look at the size of that caterpillar! The butterfly that comes outta that big boy is gonna have wings like paper bags!" Great big stuff is just interesting to look at. Not to mention poking at, remarking on, and wondering out loud how much it probably eats. We'd like to see more big stuff in our lives. And thanks to the internet's insistence on pointing out absolute units that are large and in charge, there's no end to all the big stuff we get to see.

It's a world of horses with biceps, bananas whose peels could be worn as sleeves, and wrenches so big they should be called WRENCHES. Phenomenal work, you big beautiful beasts.

Fiancé Returns Bride's Wedding Dress, Gets His Mother to Come to His Rescue

This thread was posted to Reddit's r/AITA (Am I the A--hole) subreddit by the wife, Redditor u/Sealine5033. She has posted this topic to the popular subreddit in order to appeal to readers and see whether or not she is in the wrong for being furious with her fiancé for returning her wedding dress. 

Right off the bat, it does seem like there could be some merit to the fiancé's financial concerns. So many people will blow their entire life's savings on their wedding ceremonies and put themselves in hardship for years afterward. 

That point is moot as, if the bride's account is to be believed to the letter, the way that her fiancé has handled the entire situation is concerning and immature at best. Redditors, of course, have voiced their ever-present concerns about the red flags that the fiancé's actions have displayed and are encouraging the bride to rethink the wedding entirely. That may not be necessary in this case but some serious discussions need to be had. 

Let us know your thoughts. Story and reactions follow.

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40 Times Wedding Guests Knew The Marriage Wasn't Going To Last

Weddings are great. You get free cake, you get to see people you haven't seen in a while, and there's usually an open bar. On top of that, you get to see someone you (presumably) care about enter into the next phase of their life with someone they (presumably) love. 

But just because weddings are a thing people do, does not mean that they always happen for good reasons. And sometimes it's apparent to everyone there that the couple involved would be a lot happier if this whole arrangement were called off. But since it's hard to get the venue deposit back, people go through with it anyway. In times like these, it's easy for the guests to pinpoint the exact moment they knew that this whole thing was a bad idea. Sometimes it involves a fistfight, sometimes infidelity, and other times it could be the bride or groom literally going "uhhhhhh can I get a raincheck on that" during their own vows.

For some more wedding shenanigans, here are some of the most terrifically trashy weddings people have been to.