Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Kid Learns To Ride Bike, Gives Inspirational Speech


We should all feel happy of ourselves. 

Submitted by: (via funnykidvid)

Boeing Test Pilots Celebrate A Harrowing Recovery


Test pilots are the real deal when it comes to having nerves of steel. 

Submitted by: (via PrΞdΔ)

Tagged: flight , boeing , intense , Video , flying

Woman's Record Speed Climbing Run Is Scary Fast


Speed climbing looks like a difficult sport, and based on how hard it is to climb stairs, we have little interest in competing ourselves. But the fact that someone can make this look so easy is frankly kind of terrifying. It's like gravity is turned off. It takes longer for them to get her down.

Submitted by: (via Guardian Sport)

Customer Demands Extra Jam, Gets Weaponized Donut


Customers often suffer from the problem of not knowing what they want, and then being extremely stern demanding that thing. For example, this customer who wanted exactly a pound of wings and got less wings, or this customer who demanded to use an engineless go kart. In this case it was a woman who demanded a refilled donut, and it went about as well as you'd expect.

1.

Text - Posted by u/MPX73 1 day ago Oh, I'll fill your donut, lady.... oc s Backtrack to 1987. Times were good, jobs were plentiful and little 14yr old me walked into a job as a bakery assistant. Even the 4.30am starts didn't put me off, I rolled in every Saturday morning and worked like a trooper. About two months in, someone complained about their donut not having enough jam in. I wasn't responsible for this, but the lady was having none of it and demanded a new one, full this time, not like th

2.

Text - In the back of the bakery was the donut filling machine. It was like a jam vat with a spike and a pump handle. I took an already-filled donut and put three more pumps in. It was quite round. Another pump, and it was looking pretty much fit to burst. Back at the counter, the lady was looking impatient, so I hurriedly placed the weaponised donut in a box, gave it to her, apologised and off she went. The car park was visible from the shop, she made it back there before opening the white box

3.

Text - I saw her bite it and recoil in absolute horror as the donut exploded all over her blouse. I laughed my head off. The shop owner found it less funny but realised the irony of it. For a moment I thought she was going to come in and complain but she obviously realised she'd gotten exactly what she asked for. She never complained again, but I was also never ever trusted with the donut filling machine again either! 3 4 1 3

4.

Text - your_moms_apron 664 points · 1 day ago TIL that jam can be used as a weapon of mass destruction.

5.

Text - _jay 1.4k points · 1 day ago About a decade later than yours, I was working at a Maccas when we had a guy complain that he had asked for extra pickles but didn't get enough extra. So we remade his Mac and threw in a ridiculous hand full of pickles, it was almost 1:1 pickles to the rest of the buger, and so the bulging burger that was more pickle than burger was sent out.

6.

Text - Next thing we know he's yelling at us from the front counter, thinking we're going to get shit thrown at us again, we cautiously peek through the service window, and he's giving us double thumbs up grinning like an absolute idiot. In the following days he's called the manager to say how great the service was, also wrote in to make sure the store owner saw it too, and also to the Maccas head office. The next few years, every Saturday, around the same time, same order, he was there like clo

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Tumblr Thread: The Wild World Of Ambigrams


Little did you know that all your day was lacking was a quick and educational exploration of the world of ambigrams. They're a whole lot of fun. 

1.

Text - just-shower-thoughts The word "swims" is the same upside down bella-likes-nutella-and-acapella smiws?? eazyintheheezy upside down, not backwards. silly.

2.

Text - bella-likes-nutella-and-acapella Ethan. If you turn a w upside down you get an m. eazyintheheezy oh i see what you mean. You're kind of visualizing it like a flip side of a coin or card, take the word "swims" and turn it upside down by actually turning it 180 degrees. bella-likes-nutella-and-acapella THATS WHAT UPSIDE DOWN MEANS

3.

Text - eazyintheheezy bella do me a favor and literally write down the word on a piece of paper and turn it upside down bella-likes-nutella-and-acapella SWIMS

4.

Text - OKAY BUT I DONT SEE HOW THATS GONNA MS

5.

Text - bella-likes-nutella-and-acapella

6.

Text - tinyfloatingwhales Ironically enough, your sad, angry smiley face will also read the same when turned upside down...

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Twitter Thread: The Escalating Stress Of Emailing The Landlord


This Twitter thread from @calebsaysthings captures that unforgettable, teeth-grinding frustration that many tenants have had with trying to navigate apartment problems with landlords that are terrible communicators. It's just the worst. 

1.

Text - CALEB HEARON @calebsaysthings first email to landlord: "hey dave l'm sure you're busy and I hate to be a bother but we noticed..." third email to landlord: "Mr. Whittington-I trust that you're familiar with all local, state, and federal ordinances regarding the rights and expectations of tenants pursuant

2.

Text - CALEB HEARON @calebsaysthings (the second email was just "any update?" with seventeen pictures of a window attached)

3.

Text - Christo @christobarbour Replying to @calebsaysthings Did you end the third email with "govern yourself accordingly" ? I like that closing.

4.

Text - XDonna I#3Stars4GenFlynn #FreeJulianX SHARIA LAW @donnamoon81146 WE DONT WANT Replying to @christobarbour and @calebsaysthings And when appropriate, Your silence will be deemed agreement-/approval, etc. Always fun. >

5.

Text - The Meta-Author @metaauthor Replying to @christobarbour and @calebsaysthings I am also fond of this valediction, used by the Qianlong Emperor to George III (China was at this time colossally outmatched but the entire letter assumes Britain to be a wayward vassal of China located somewhere around the Ryukyus) expulsion. In that event your barbarian merchants will have had a long journey for nothing. Do not say that you were not warned in due time! Tremblingly obey and show no negligence! .

6.

Text - amber @indicaluna Replying to @calebsaysthings This is literally my situation right now and I'm wondering when I should send the "third email" e

7.

Text - nic @nicvargus Replying to @calebsaysthings "We look forward to improved communication going forward."

8.

Text - jezebirb @TraceOddity Replying to @calebsaysthings I definitely pulled one of these on my landlord because we didn't have GFCI outlets in our bathroom and risked electrocution. >

9.

Text - Sawyer Middeleer @SMiddeleer Replying to @calebsaysthings My first one of these was when I realized I could dim my lamp with a knob on my oven >

10.

Text - jimmytwohands @jimmy_two_hands Replying to @calebsaysthings I broke out the "pursuant to" language when my landlord tried to take our deposit for a broken sink we'd been complaining about for ten years and cited the chicago rental code saying he owed us double our security deposit for not paying us annual interest on it

11.

Text - sfhippie @sfhippie Replying to @calebsaysthings The door down the street where we were told to take our trash and recycling for the last several years had the locks changed, and my landlord has ignored all texts, emails, and calls about it for going on 3 months now. It's actually insane.

12.

Text - Madeline Flores @destroyedcircle Replying to @calebsaysthings @ my last landlord who told me lcouldn't have my service dog. I told her he's a service dog and I legally can't be denied housing or my dog. She literally tells me "well this place just wasn't built for dogs, sorry you can't have him". Well I wasn't built to listen to bullshit e >

13.

Text - scoot mctoots TM the trash baby @daintyscoot Replying to @calebsaysthings My collection of texts to my landlord about necessary paperwork that was supposed to be signed the day I moved out. It wasn't signed for 3 days after and on the phone call she dead said to me "We've been communicating with you" BITCH WHERE??? >

14.

Text - M MidtownMeridian > before the end of the day that would be great!! Wednesday 5:32 PM I'm not comfortable relinquishing the property until all of the papers are signed so please get back to me. Yesterday 10:20 AM I won't be leaving the property until the papers are signed. Please send them to me ASAP.

15.

Text - Yesterday 4:31 PM Do I need to come in there? l'm recovering from surgery and would rather not but the lack of response is extremely concerning Today 12:06 PM Y'all open at 10, I don't understand that lack of response. This is extremely worrisome Today 2:51 PM I'l be there Tuesday Morning at 10am. Please make sure Sandy is present, as l'm still recovering from my surgery.

16.

Text - Can Do Rosie the Resister @RandomMuse Replying to @calebsaysthings When it literally started RAINING in my living room, I stopped with the emails and withheld my rent. That got their attention fast. Then tried to bully me in court for a year AND THEY LOST because IT SHOULD NOT BE RAINING INSIDE MY LIVING ROOM.

17.

Text - Can Do Rosie the Resister @RandomMuse Replying to @RandomMuse and @calebsaysthings Also want to mention that their negligence and refusal to fix and trying to sue me for non-payment horribly backfired further when the city stepped in and did 3 emergency repairs on the roof, which cost them tens of thousands of dollars.

18.

Text - Candace @ltsCandaceinCa Replying to @calebsaysthings My fifth email included "As I have not heard from you, please see attached receipt from the company T hired to fix problem, as I will be deducting it from next month's rent."

19.

Text - K @K_Lou_Aloha Replying to @calebsaysthings Landlady from hell for 6 months who used to call me whenever she needed a fight! Wasnt til she started doing it to the agent, after I refused to take her calls, she got blacklisted by every agent in the town The built in fridge that was broken upon arrival NEVER did get fixed

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A Sackful of Puns to Spill All Over


Sure, puns aren't exactly the height of comedy. In fact it's pretty normal to hate them. From the groan-tastic to the dad-tier, there are all sorts of dumb and clever puns to feel stupid about. Sometimes you need a break from humor that has a "premise" or "intelligent point" and you just want a bundle of puns to fill that wordplay hole.

1.

Text - madagascar gladagascar sadagascar E FUEL F outtagascar

2.

Pink - Whoever named this a 'urinal cake' clearly missed the opportunity to call it a "piscuit"

3.

Footwear - I WILL HEEL YOU, I WILL SAVE YOUR SOLE I WILL EVEN DYE FOR YOU SHOE REPAIR JESUS SHOEPEPAIR

4.

Tree - Look, a Cowch

5.

Job - Hello, may I have your order No it's mine.

6.

Text - garbage @sugarfoot34 *using Ouija board* "hello, is there anyone there" *Y* *O* *U* *U* *U* *U* "ah damnit this is a Soulja board*

7.

Furniture - 10:56 AM Oh sorry for the unsolicited deck pic. That was for someone else That is a sexy deck 10/10 would sit on it Trimmed the bushes so it looks bigger

8.

Land vehicle - Gr IMIPRLA VLAD THE IMPALA

9.

Food - I present to you, the chilly cheese dog.

10.

9:07 22% ISTANDE Stanley Chain Saw $160 $180 Listed over a week ago in Send seller a message Is this still available? Send ... Message Save Share More Seller Information See Profile

11.

Face - Lettuce come together. Romaine calm. This may just be the tip of the iceberg

12.

Mammal - Nurse: Sorry for the wait My Dad: No problem, I'm patient the nurse' me my dad

13.

Text - Ygrene @Ygrene [me as a knight] Me: squire, young squire..do you have the time? Squire: sir by the judge of the sun, it is 3pm Me: wrong squire, it is (shutting visor) knight time 11/02/2018, 14:30 907 Retweets 2,870 Likes

14.

Mason jar - Yoo've been tait by. You've been struck by. SMOOTH CARAMEL Flacour

15.

Text - charlesoberonn My Arch Nemesis: Do you know why I challenged you to this duel? Me: You want me to stop making puns. My Arch Nemesis: You're right. My Arch Nemesis: I didn't want to do this. I once considered you a friend. It didn't have to come to this. But the puns have to stop. Me: It really is the duelity of man. My Arch Nemesis: *shoots me instantly* charlesoberonn Me: *holds my bullet-ridden intestines in place* It all lead to this. My Arch Nemesis: Why *shot* Won't *shot* You *shot*

16.

Organ - Mike @MonsterMike24 This is nuts ]€@I\I!{_}$... @_JEANIUS_ 4d These are the lungs of a 10yr Marijuana user... They're not supposed to be that color. Smoke at your own risk.

17.

Soldier - THE INFANTRY

18.

Job - Eye doctor: Your result just came back. Me: Can I see them? Eye doctor: Probably not. Stit

19.

Arm - backstreet boys algebra teacher tell me Y

20.

Computer keyboard - HEY LONG TIME COMPAC

21.

Asphalt - my life my own dumb asphalt

22.

Photo caption - INEED TO SEEA DENTIST ONE OF MY CANINES IS GETTING LOOSE GUmemeom

23.

Clothing - H TH FORMALDEHYDE INFORMALDEHYDE O=O

24.

Text - WHEN A BRIDGE SUDDENLY APPEARS 大志田橋 Oshita Bridge

25.

Text - PLEASE CHECK IF YOU FLUSHED THANK YOU!

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