Bank Won't Let Guy Withdraw All His Funds So He Decides to Drown Them in Perpetual Transactions

These days banks have all kinds of ridiculous fees for anything and everything you could ever imagine. Sure, I'll buy into the fact that closing or opening an account used to have a bit of administration time involved. But surely those processes are now automated at the large banks that pull this kind of crap?

How about that paper statement fee that you are automatically opted into. And are you seriously going to charge me $5 because I blinked 500 times while I was waiting in line for service?

When it comes to stuff like this there's only one thing you can do; Play the game. Which is exactly what user Creepy-Analyst has done. 

What better way to avoid fees for closing an account than this?

 

 

48 Funny Pun Business Names That Chose Cleverness

Sure, any of us could get fried eggs at "Paul's Diner" but why not take a chance on those eggs at a place called "Mother I'd Like To Cluck." Some of the more boring folks out there would prefer to get their sleeping implements for "The Mattress Warehouse." But put that drab place across the street from "Nothing Really Mattress" and see which one raises more eyebrows. What can we say, we like things that are stupid. The reason? We are stupid. It's relatable. It feels like what we would do. Like start a Star Trek themed plumbing company called "Captain's Clog." It's dumb. We're dumb. And proud of it.

It's unclear if having a pun business name is any better for business but at least it's something to look at. There's just something so awesome about an entire sign someone made just for a dumb joke. Maybe it's the sheer commitment to the bit? For the connoisseurs of sign jokes, here's a funny restaurant sign that dispensed jokes and wisdom.

Jerk Step-Brother Hijacks Engagement Party With His Baby's Gender Reveal

An entitled older stepbrother, with whom the bride-to-be has a competitive history, usurped an engagement party with news of his own. The bride-to-be sends him half the bill.

Fair is fair, right?

Take notes everyone because this is probably something that you don't want to do at your sibling's engagement party. It should be common knowledge that it's never a good idea to slap your announcement on top of someone else's celebratory event. Yet, we hear stories like this all the time. 

I'd say that the poster is, in no way, in the wrong here. It's bad form to hijack someone else's event and it's not a good sign if you also have previous history of doing things like this. 

This older brother needs to take a serious look at his life and his entitlement. Chances are that this isn't the only crap like this he is pulling to the people around him. Even if it was a one off honest mistake, he needs to take ownership of his error. 

What's your take?

Painfully Obvious Things People Didn't Realize For Way Too Long

No one likes feeling stupid. It's down there with "ugly" and "being wrong on the internet." But the weird thing about thinking stupid things is that we all do it. Being stupid is more of a temporary condition than an identity. Well, for most of us. For some of us it's a chronic, incurable condition that just gets worse and worse. But these people's stupid moments are all about learning. They're about actively becoming less stupid. And there's nothing like becoming smarter to make you realize how dumb you truly are.

It doesn't matter how long you've been on this planet or how much you know, smart people still do stupid things. Even the concept of "smartness" is variable. Anyone might know everything there is to know about brain surgery but might not know that it's stupid to put metal in the microwave. Some of us were just sick the day we learned that snow is made out of water, only to have that fact make us look like complete smooth-brains a decade later. There are too many obvious things people realize way too late.

Essential Engineer Fired For His New Supervisor's Malicious Mistake, Hired Back On Steep Contract Rate When Company Faces Millions in Losses

This worker, who was the sole person at the company who was capable of doing his job, ended up on the wrong side of a malicious manager. When the manager made an extremely obvious error and let an entire (now unstaffed) department fall over he was sure to hang it on u/PeaceNGrease. 

The thing is... since u/PeaceNGrease was the only person capable and qualified of doing his job, they quickly realized that they were going to lose millions of dollars. Which left u/PeaceNGrease in the ideal position to negotiate a high contracted rate to train the new hires.

The big takeaway from this story seems to be that he should have asked for more. But $20,000 is a pretty penny and will pay for a nice vacation that he wouldn't have gotten otherwise! 

For more stories about appalling management check out this guy's story about being fired for asking for a raise.

Client Tries To Screw Employee Over By Locking Them Out Of System, Totally Backfires

They say "man makes plans and god laughs." They also say "fail to prepare, prepare to fail." So who's right? Should we expect reasonable outcomes to happen or shouldn't we? Maybe figures-of-speech don't actually mean anything until they can be applied after the fact. Isn't language stupid?

Anyway, this client had his own plan to save some money by not paying for this guy's services, and it just so happens that this employee prepared for that possibility. Maybe the lesson here is "if you're going to work for a bastard, prepare to be the bigger bastard." And bastard away this IT guy certainly did, to the tune of some satisfying justice.

There's just something so sinfully sweet about a proper jerk getting their righteous comeuppance when it's all said and done. This client tried real hard to screw over a completely well-meaning employee by locking them out of the system. Well, that definitely backfired in glorious fashion. For another tale of pro revenge check out the time that a scummy collection agency attempted to mess with a guy's credit score. 

Insane Boss Tries to Fire Woman For "Being Pregnant", Police Get Involved, Meltdown Ensues

Imagine thinking that you could get away with firing a pregnant employee. Imagine thinking you could pull this off and not have it blow up in your face.

Especially when the person who you are trying to fire has completed essential work that they won't release to you until you pay them the money they are owed.

Well, that's what u/joke-on-you9719's politician boss tried to pull when they were due for a raise while working on a hard-fought campaign. It's almost as if this politician hadn't thought this one all the way through and was blinded by greed (no surprise there) at the chance to save a quick buck.

It's probably best that they aren't currently elected into their local government but, unfortunately, other idiots like this seem to keep slipping through.

Tumblr Thread: Literary Coincidences Get Authors In Hot Water

It's pretty wild to imagine yourself in a scenario where you're literally being interrogated by the authorities because of a purely fictional spy story that you wrote that just so happened to come way too close to a real life spy situation. How were you supposed to know that making highly educated guesses about ships could be a threat to national security? Honestly it's kind of on the government for making a tool of war that's so easy to just make up in your head. Maybe Tom Clancy should have gone the other way with it, made it really obviously fictional and wrote garbage like "and then General Supercommander Smith climbed through the colorful ball pit, took the slide down to maintenance, and then took one of those single-chair wall-mounted-escalators-they-make-for-old-people up to the president of the boat's office." That would have gotten everyone off his back.

 If you're looking for some more gold from the wonderful wandering minds of Tumblr, then check out this Tumblr thread about how it pays off to ask the world's craftspeople when you're in doubt.