Wednesday, February 8, 2017

This Alex Jones-DuckTales Mashup Is Like Diving Into a Pool of Golden Chemtrails


fail video ducktales alex jones mashup

What's better than conspiracy theories? That's right, DuckTales.

The wacky Saturday-morning adventures of Huey, Dewey, Louie, their Uncle Scrooge, and, of course, Launchpad McQuack could only be made better by the non-sensical ravings of professional garbage spewer Alex Jones. So this genius Twitter user answered the call of millions and stuck Jones ranting about "chemtrails" and "gay bombs," and, Jesus, is it great. 

This video makes me feel like I'm diving into a pool of gold coins. 

via GIPHY

Submitted by: (via @hateshaliek)

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John Oliver Stopped By to Chat With Stephen Colbert About the Unstable Nature of His Own Immigration Status


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This Feels Trip of a Web Comic, Will Speak To Anyone Who Was Ever Burned By a Long Distance Relationship


Sad,feels,relatable,dating,web comics

Disclaimer: Get the permission slip signed for this feels trip. Shit's about to take you places.

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The Oakland Raiders Are Roasting Each Other on Twitter With Celebrity Look-Alikes


twitter,lookalike,nfl,roast,football

Glad to see that the Raiders have managed to have some fun since the devastating ending to their storied run in the Wild Card Playoffs. 

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20 Perfectly Timed Snapchats of Kids Being Cry Babies for the Best Reasons


Babies,snapchat,kids,Perfect Timing,crying

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School Appalled With Troublemaker Student, Sends Unintentionally Hilarious Letter to His Dad


school,kids,parenting,funny

I think the best course of action for Dad here is to write a sincere letter back, asking the school what exactly a dildo is? Let's milk this ridiculous situation for all it's worth. Long live Wildo the Dildo, may he live a long and fruitful existence being a perpetual pain in the asses (and other places too) of academic institutions, near and far.

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Tagged: school , kids , parenting , funny
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John Wick's Dog Finally Gets the Respect It Deserves and Kills a Bunch of Dudes In The Process In This Amazing Video


It's hard for everyone to deal with the dog's death in John Wick. Oh, how many nights have we stayed awake wishing that those gangsters took John's life instead of his poor pup's. 

Well, someone finally made John Wick the right way.

This video puts the gun firmly in the mouth of an adorable little dog, whom after his master John Wick is killed, he takes a bite out of crime – or more specifically, puts a bullet in its head. 

Submitted by: (via RocketJump)

Tagged: dogs , john wick , parody
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People Are Having a Blast Finishing Donald Trump's Tweets


fail trump finish the sentence

The president of being a reality-TV gameshow host and also the United States of America is having a hard time getting his Muslim Ban through — mostly becuase it's unconstitutional. And like a person who didn't like the service at their local Denny's, he's tweeting about it. 

However, unlike someone who didn't like their All-American Slam Burger, tweeting about issues like a racist travel ban requires more than 140 characters. So he got cut off in the middle of this tweet:

So people are finishing the tweet for him, and honestly, I wish this would happen more often. It's very funny.

Submitted by: (via Daily Swathmore)

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Guy On Flight Caught Writing Dark and Twisted, Incestuous Porn Novel In Plain View of Fellow Passengers


wtf,FAIL,gross,porn,incest

Disclaimer: Make sure you've fully digested your meal before even considering prying open the lid on this grotesque little pandora's box. The dude photographed penning this disturbed literary shit stain at the very least has a serious set of stones (or is completely out of touch with reality) for proceeding to write this on a damn plane. If the goal was to 'fly under the radar' you failed and then some, man. 

Hell, maybe he was hustling trying to make deadline. I couldn't care less. No matter how you frame it, this one's been seven kinds of messed up since he sat down to write the sick puppy in the first place. The best ending possible to that story lies somewhere at the bottom of the Pacific. 

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Tagged: wtf , FAIL , gross , porn , incest
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Chick's Story About Her Friend's Tinder Encounter Ends With a Bone-Chilling Climax


wtf,tinder,dark

Hold onto your seats, folks, because this is easily one of the more twisted tales of immoral depravity I've encountered in a long while. That or we're dealing with a storyteller who has a dark imagination on par with the horror-inclined Stephen Kinglike brains of the world. 

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Tagged: wtf , tinder , dark
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Go Gaga for This Photoshop Battle of Lady Gaga Jumping Off Stage at the Super Bowl


Whether you were for the Patriots or the Falcons on Super Bowl Sunday, you were probably wondering what Lady Gaga would look like if she was in an Easter egg basket or fighting a sea monster. It's perfectly normal for you to think such things. 

Luckily for you, the folks over on Reddit were wondering the same thing, and a photoshop battle was born. Check it out: 

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Girl Mistakes Her Senior Photo For Being Great Until Internet Points Out Giant Dick In The Background


photobomb,whoops,FAIL,picture,funny

Well, there's always the next senior year photoshoot right? You failed this time, but keep your head up, lady. At least she can find solace in the glaring fact she is anything but alone when it comes to being photobombed by attention-grabbing, graffiti dicks. 

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44 Pics and Memes That Perfectly Capture the Highs and Lows of Working in the Food and Service Industry


struggle,relatable,Memes,kitchen,food

Rifling through this sweet and savory selection of service industry-inspired pics and memes brought all the bullshit-ridden glory days back. As someone who worked through the opening, closing, and double-shifts as a self-proclaimed team bitch of a busboy/dishwasher, no less....I definitely connected with this collection. 


Those were the days, man. Were they though, were they? Continually making every effort to appear busy when the vindictive manager made her/his obsessive productivity sweep through BOH, every 15 minutes. Or engaging in all out verbal warfare with a potentially drug-fueled, heavily tattooed line cook that spewed rage and backhanded, incomprehensible foreign slang you just knew was directed at you. And the endless slush pile of dishes, and the sweet unwanted steam bath that pervaded through the dish pit every time a fucking lunch or dinner rush hit. At least the FOH provided a consistent source of beautiful-faced, professionally flirty entertainment. 

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Donald Trump's Talking About Getting The 'Easy D!' On Twitter and People Are Losing It


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People Share the Worst Things They've Ever Woken up to, and I Thought You Had to Be Asleep for a Night Terror


Sad,scary,wtf,morning,waking up

There's waking up on the wrong side of the bed, and then there's waking up in a rancid puddle of booze piss left by the ever generous 'blacked out' degenerate that is you; or what would appear based off this thread to be an unsettlingly high frequency of waking up alongside a scorpion or pack of spiders. NOPE. All the NOPE.

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Tagged: Sad , scary , wtf , morning , waking up
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19-Year-Old Spots Couple Having Sex In Front of Her Apartment (Again), Shares Pictures to Shame Them From Repeat Performance


wtf,cringe,dating,couple

Lara Shoemark is clearly getting more than she signed up for when it comes to backyard entertainment. Through her window, Shoemark spotted our sex-crazed, depraved couple of the hour begin making out under bridge, which quickly then graduated to some solid rubbing against each other action, and the finale of course, as they rounded third base, being the home run. Shoemark had it. Poor young 19-year-old mother of two is trying to raise an upstanding family, so she shared the moment to twitter in an attempt to shame the couple into a different district. Fair to say this incident's all water under the bridge, or nah? 

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Tagged: wtf , cringe , dating , couple
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Guy Buys Jar of Jelly, Makes Horrific Discovery Inside, Proceeds to Receive Rotten Customer Service


wtf,gross,jelly,food,weird

No matter how you slice and dice this dark and twisted discovery, that right there broheme, is a condom, the wrong kind of plastic baggy, an entirely unwanted chef's twist. Truly, what fresh hell is this? And the shit-coated excuse of a customer service dialogue that follows thereafter is unbelievable in every sense of the word. Bro, you seriously want us to believe that's a jar of foam? We can see the RING!

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Tagged: wtf , gross , jelly , food , weird
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If You Don't Mind, J.K. Rowling Would Appreciate You Not Bringing Up Her Death All The Time, Thank You Very Much


This might be hard to believe, but people, even famous authors, generally don’t like discussing their own demise. I know it sounds crazy. J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter books is no exception. She just doesn’t like people romanticizing her death. It’s weird, sure. However, she’s entitled to her opinion.

This meme going around has different ideas in mind. They think it’s fun to imagine Rowling’s final day. The author does not. So if you don’t mind, please stop talking about her death. Thanks!

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Judge Is Having None Of This Bullshit Parking Ticket


The law is the law. 

This woman from Providence, RI parked her car at 9:58 am in a spot that was clearly marked 8 to 10. What is a judge supposed to do, let her go? What is this the magical lawless land of Discovery Zone? I think not. 

Watch this judge throw the book at her. 

Just kidding, he's really fun and funny, and this video is great because he's not a total dick about it. 

Submitted by: (via www.youtube.com)

Tagged: judge , court
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Office Fans Rejoice! Chilis Has Finally Lifted Its Decade-Long Ban on Pam Beesley


the office

It’s been over 10 years since fictional character Pam Beesley stepped inside a Scranton, PA Chili’s for the Dunder-Mifflin award ceremony, “The Dundees.” On that fateful night, after many, many second drinks, Pam was escorted out of the establishment that she “felt god” in and was politely asked not to return.

Today, she enter the hollowed halls of the golf course of today, not to do business, but to enjoy their reasonably-priced menu items, such as their sizzling fajitas, honey-chipotle shrimp & sirloin, and, of course, baby-back ribs.

Chili’s has lifted their ban on the character, and the internet is pretty happy about it.

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Tagged: the office
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This Is Why You Don't Make Friends At Work


work,friends,notes,funny

Look, when you clock into your work, it's not social hour, ok? I want to be hearing the clickity-clack of your keyboard, not the chitty-chat of human connection. Below you'll find an employee who thinks they can turn their job into a regular drawing room salon, and another who understands the value of a dollar. One will be getting a promotion. Try and guess which one.

Now, get back to work! 

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Tagged: work , friends , notes , funny
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Why Did They Do That? Here Are Good Movies That Were Nearly Destroyed By One Bad Scene


Director Howard Hawks once said that every good movie has "three great scenes, no bad ones." So Looper is looking at few good movies with one bad, head-scratching scenes. 

To be fair, two of these entries are the Star Wars Special Editions, so take their opinion with a grain of salt. In any other case, this video would be described as "nitpicking."

What do you think?

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Tagged: movies
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Blind Taste Test For La Croix Sparkling Water, Spawns Hilarious Reactions: ‘It Tastes Like Someone Pantsed Me In Front Of Cheerleaders’


This blind taste test was bound to bubble over the brink of anything remotely close to 'calm and collected' reviews, and head straight for the ridiculous. From covering the proper pronunciation of the brand, to brainstorming illustrative and hilariously descriptive reviews, it's fair to say this was one of the more enjoyable 'blind taste tests' to surface on the interwebs for a while. 

Submitted by: (via Ivor Andrew)

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Fighting Off a Robber Is a Family Affair


When you're a small business owner, you've got to protect yourself. So when this dude came into a smoke shop and kept telling the owners that he had a gun and was going to rob the place, you best do it and get out. 

Unfortunately for that dude, he didn't anticipate this family of crime fighters to put the kibosh on it. He also didn't anticipate the owner's jump kick. 

Here's the full story from the description:

"My daughter and I were on shift at Tracks Smoke Shop in Elmwood Park, NJ. Guy walks into the shop around 6:15PM. Soft spoken, hoodie on. First thing he says is, "I have a gun and can rob you (taps his chest), but, that would not be the right thing to do." He proceeds to pick up different items and look at it while mumbling the same things repeatedly, " I have a gun and can rob you." My daughter Jazmin and I humored him with his questions about different products as we did not want to agitate him until we could safely call someone or the police. I was waiting for an opportunity to call my son Jonathan back to the store to help us allow the guy to leave quietly. When Jonathan arrived about five minutes after I called him, he came with his dog. Once Jonathan engaged the guy (as seen at the beginning of the video),I immediately went to the back office and called the Elmwood Park, NJ police department and was explaining to the dispatcher what was going on when I saw the guy put the gun on the counter and reach into his pocket to pull out the cartridge to load it. I then told the dispatcher to send the police immediately and ran out to assist Jonathan and Jazmin. When I returned, Jonathan was telling the guy to get out of the store. The guy kept saying he wanted his gun which Jonathan had successfully grabbed from him. We told him to step outside the store first and we would return it. He finally stepped to the front door but not outside. The police arrived at that moment and the guy then walked outside and started walking away. The cops intercepted and he resisted. It took five police officers to contain him. He was then arrested and subsequently released less than 24 hours later pending a hearing".

Submitted by: (via ViralHog)

Tagged: fight , robbery
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It Was Shang Tsung The Whole Time


fail gif trump shang tsung

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I Don't Know Why This Video of a "Skateboard Teeter Totter Nut Shot" Exists or What The Filmmakers Were Trying to Accomplish, But I Do Know That I Love It


When evaluating the cinema, one must rid themselves of the director's intent. The intentional falacy is the theory that, ultimately, when an artist releases their work into the world, their intention is no longer open for consideration. The work now belongs to the audience. 

As for the video "Skateboard Teeter Totter Nutshot," one must keep the ideas brought forth by literary theorists W.K. Wimsatt, Jr. and Monroe C. Beardsley close at hand. The viewer cannot judge the actions of the participants with the director's ideas in mind. To create a fully-formed opinion of why a skateboarder would jump off a latter onto crudely made teeter totter above which a large man stood one must ignore the author's original intention. For instance, why put a fluorescent light bulb on the teeter totter so when the wood came into contact with the large man's groin, the bulb would explode? These are questions you must answer. 

But if we had to guess, the director probably thought this would be funny. They're assumptions were correct. 

Submitted by: (via ViralHog)

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Trump Calls Up His Buddy Obama for Valentine's Day Advice


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