Saturday, October 31, 2020

Tumblr Thread: Octopuses Are Clever Brain Lords


This quick and informative collection of Tumblr posts shines some light on the fascinating, slimy, intellectual behemoths that are the octopuses of this world. Basically, you better be ready for some eerie and deeply unsettling trickery if you're going to be a security guard at an aquarium that houses octopuses. And you better make sure that there are no bad shrimp in the batches that you're feeding them. 

Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this thread about customers' mythically powerful coffee orders.

1.

Text - tilthat TIL Marine biologists are claiming there is a rare instance of non-human warfare happening between octopuses in the waters off the coast of Australia. The octopuses are fighting in large groups over territory and even using projectiles such as seashells to spit at enemies. via reddit.com pain-and-missouri Octopi are intense bransrath I prefer octopedes celticpyro “Animals don't go to war because they're cinnamon rolls unlike ebil humans uwu" Check-fucking-mate Linda, cephalopods a

2.

Text - arishok-s They're literally in the shell age copperbadge So...they're shelling each other? mamapluto *takes a long drag on a shitty cigarette* war is shell A mondrag-on Why isn't anyone even bothering to mention the countless wounded soldiers of this cephalopod war? Many come back missing tentacles and eyes! Some even return home with a bad case of...shellshock imperilysm ругорotter You are angry about something. "Clam down," I text you. You assume I have made a typo, but in fact I am hol

3.

Text - giant pacific octopus - memescomedy HOsea SnatchedEdges @haking Put this back in the ocean. Google Facts @GoogleFacts An octopus named Otto caused an aquarium power outage by climbing to the edge of his tank and shooting a jet of water at a bright light that was annoying him. He's also been seen juggling hermit crabs, throwing rocks at the glass, and re-arranging his tank surroundings. 2500

4.

Text - aproposnegro He doesn't wanna be there. broccoli-goblin Relatable satanslover Fun fact: scientists believe the only thing that stops some species of octopi from being classified as sentient is their relative lack of desire to teach other members of their species Source: memescomedy.com 29,841 notes

5.

Art

6.

Text - wittyusernamed My buddy read an article about octopus intelligence. It was feeding time, and the handler dumped some shrimp into an octopus' tank. Then he went into another room and sat at his desk. A while later, a shrimp was tossed onto his desk. The octopus, upon finding one bad shrimp in the lot, had grabbed it, escaped its tank, crossed the hall, and threw the expired shrimp at its caretaker. Not only does this showcase their problem-solving capabilities, but also that it could have

7.

Text - roseweasley7 I went to the aquarium once and we had a tour and we walked past the octopus tank and it was duct taped shut so I asked why and the guy was like. "Well, we had a problem before because these fish were disappearing randomly at night and we had no idea why. Turns out the octopus had memorised the night guards rounds and would creep out of its tank, crawl across the floor to the fish tank, have a little snack and be back in its own tank with the lid shut before the guard came ba

8.

Text - cassandrashipsit I am both delighted and FUCKING TERRIFIED. ze-witch-arteest Once I went to the aquarium where they had a baby pacific red octopus in a tank. I had gone there to work on a few real life sketches, obviously I wanted to do one of an octopus. So I kinda just kneeled in front of the tank, and started sketching. The octopus didn't mind, he sat happily. Then, 5 minutes later, he started moving to the front of the tank, where I was. This tiny octopus faces me directly and starts

Submitted by:

Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

Entitled Coworker Learns Lesson On Christmas Day


Jane was playing with fire. She thought she'd just go on and on, not helping out her teammates, and instead proactively making their work situations genuinely unpleasant environments. Just picturing the mystified look of pure confused, terror on Jane's face when this employee dipped out on Christmas Day is enough to put a smile on your face. Sounds like the manager wasn't doing anything to help the situation either, so it's not terrible he had to show up to address the meltdown on Christmas Day. 

Check out some more juicy revenge drama with this property manager who was terrible, and ended up getting canned.

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge u/MorganLeFatal • 2y + Join Merry Christmas! I quit. Quite a few years ago, I moved into a house with a few of my best friends. One of my friends got me a job with her at the local gas station within walking distance of our house and I thought I was pretty set with my new arrangement - living with my best friends, able to walk to work and a job that should have been one of the easiest positions I've ever held... That is, until I met my coworker - Jane. I worked nights. We did

2.

Text - gas pumps, sweep up the parking lot, and stock the beverages which entailed going into the walk in fridge and stocking it from inside the cooler (which could take 2 hours or more at times). There was always 2 people scheduled on night shift, most of my coworkers and I would split the work and one person would don their coat and gloves and go stock the cooler for a few hours and the other person would keep coffee made and sweep up the store and stop and ring up the occasional customer and

3.

Text - Not Jane. Jane would usually hang out in the back in the manager's office for hours or stand behind the registers "doing inventory of the cigarettes" and make the other employees unfortunate enough to be scheduled with her do all of the tasks that needed to be completed in and out of the store and have to stop and run to the register to ring people up even when she was standing right there "counting the cigarettes" and couldn't be bothered to even acknowledge the customers.

4.

Text - When people called off, it was standard to call the other employees and see if someone could come in and take the shift. Most people would give a legit reason why they couldn't when they declined - i.e. No sitter, family plans, etc. Not Jane. Jane would just answer with a flat no when she was called and would then hang up. My best friend came to me a few months into working at the place and told me that our manager told her that Jane said that I don't do anything during my shifts with her

5.

Text - Jane fancied herself the second in command in our store under the manager. Now, mind you, we didn't have an assistant manager with that gas station chain. There was only a manager and there were supposed to be a few shift leads who really didn't have any power, just a few additional tasks to complete during the shifts where they were scheduled as a lead - inventory, ordering stock, etc. Jane was not ACTUALLY a shift lead but she was able to do most of the tasks of the shift lead and acted

6.

Text - The best part of this "improvement" was that she would harp on my coworkers about it while NEVER stepping foot in the cooler herself to do anything that I saw in the entire time that I worked with her. Another of her "improvements" was that everyone had to attend a weekly mandatory team meeting because she read somewhere in one of her training books that it's supposedly policy - even though none of us, including the manager, had heard of this before she brought it up. These team meetings

7.

Text - I came to work my shift at the gas station after receiving a call earlier in the day saying that I had passed my background check and employment verification and was offered the job that I had been seeking. I asked my shift lead how to put in my 2 Week's Notice and she smiled and asked who I would be working with on my last day? Jane. She asked if I already officially had the job and I confirmed that I did and that all of my background checks were complete. She then asked me if it really

8.

Text - My last day was Christmas. I was scheduled as a split shift. From 7-10pm, I was scheduled with my best friend. My best friend was scheduled to get off at 10pm and Jane was to come in and work her normal night shift from 10pm-6am. I came in at 7 and worked as I normally would and had a fun time clowning with my best friend when we had a rare moment of downtown - being Christmas Day, there wasn't really anything else around that was open so we were swamped as a result. My best friend left a

9.

Text - My best friend filled me in on what happened when I left. She went through the phone list calling everyone to see if they could come in to work my shift. Every single person just gave a simple No and hung up on her. She was left to run the store on her own for quite some time before the manager showed up to assist her. The next team meeting that she had after I left, she could not find her clipboard and had a melt down fit in front of all of the other employees as they all stood there loo

10.

Text - Now, before you start feeling sorry for my manager having to lose time with his people on Christmas Day to clean up the mess from my revenge- Keep in mind that he has access to video recordings of every inch of the store and outside grounds and could easily verify how much work I was doing during my shifts before he felt the need to insult my work ethic to my best friend based solely on the lie of one person. I'm actually GLAD that he was caught up in my wonderful revenge, truth be told,

Submitted by:

Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

Fastest Ways People's Co-Workers Got Fired


It's nothing short of a miracle that these people were able to weasel their way into getting jobs in the first place. You've got the dude with the next level situational awareness, who decided it'd be a good move to light up a smoke next to a bunch of hay. Or you've got the other prime job candidate who was hired, and then proceeded to just never show up. It's as if some people get hired just to see how long it'll take them to get fired. Try hard enough, and it really won't take too much time to get canned at all. 

Check out another entertaining AskReddit thread that's about the ways workers got their bosses fired.

1.

Text - squeeeeenis • 2h He didn't show up the first day, second day, or third day. I had to work a double shift for three days straight. Not fun. I answered the phone when he finally 'called in' on the fourth day. He said, "I'm going to be honest with you, I've been in Orlando. My parents paid for a small vacation as a reward for getting the job. Would it be okay to start next week instead of this week?" Reply 938 ...

2.

Text - KnightofShaftsbury • 2h New guy started on Monday and was gone by Friday. The guy hit some racking in the warehouse with the forklift, boss saw him do it, and the guy decided to lie about it when asked if he knew what happened. Reply 390 ...

3.

Text - chungoglungus • 2h Had a girl show up for her first day then no call no show for the next 3 days. Needless to say she was off the schedule by the 4th day Reply 145 ...

4.

Text - Ed_Rock • 1h About 35 minutes I hired a guy to work for me as quality inspector for merchandise headed to Walmart & Target. He bragged about everything he stole from his last job during training and how they paid him more than I did. Well, I'm not holding him back from all that money so I had some big guys escort him off the property Reply 34 ...

5.

Text - jeff_the_nurse• 2h As a teenager, I worked at a bowling alley. Within an hour, a new girl was fired on the spot for dropping a ball on the foot of a complaining patron. Reply 280 ...

6.

Text - The_Tell_Tale_Heart • 1h Guy had been working a few days at a barn. Decided to smoke right by bales of hay. Manager saw him and fired him right on the spot. At farms, you don't fuck around with fire. Reply 40 ...

7.

Text - DifficultMinute • 1h Before their first day on orientation. I got hired for a manufacturing job through Manpower (a temp agency). Me and a friend of my wife were both supposed to start on Monday at the plant for a week- long orientation. She got into a fender bender on her way to orientation, and called them to say that she'd be a bit late, that she just needed to wait on the police to give a statement. The manager told her not to bother ever coming in. Girl was torn up. She took pictures

8.

Text - JoeBear1978• 1h A shop I used to work at hired through a temporary agency,after a few months they either hired you full time or let you go. They brought this one kid in,he worked good and they were going to hire him full time. The supervisor brought some paperwork for him to get hired on, he filled it out but forgot to sign something. The supervisor brought the paper back to him to sign but couldn't find him at first. She found him smoking during shift by by the emergency exit door. Had t

9.

Text - jbiggs107 • 1h 5 days. My boss hired an "Executive Chef".. dude didn't even know how to make a quesadilla... Reply 20 ...

10.

Text - Hickspy • 2h This was just a summer job at a fast food place. We had a new girl start and within two days it was apparent she was an idiot and everyone knew that. You could already see the manager questioning his decision. Then on her third day of work she said she couldn't come in because her mom was in a car accident and in the hospital. Turns out that's an easy thing to disprove in a relatively small town. Reply 147 ...

11.

Text - sum_muthafuckn_where • 1h First week, he's called over to the unstaffed truffle counter by a customer. Hasn't been trained in truffles, so he just grabs one from the display case and sells it to the customer. He doesn't know the display "truffles" are made of plastic and the customer has already payed $90 for it when he realises. Still not sure if it was an honest mistake or if he was planning to pocket the money. Either way, fired. Reply ...

12.

Text - uitSCHOT • 1h I worked at a high security workspace for a while. Under no circumstance could you take photographs anywhere inside the building and you were strongly discouraged to post on social media were you worked. (Something to do with the competition finding things out) So this guy took a picture of his employee pass on his first day and posted it on his Facebook talking about how happy he was with his new job. Work found out (I think his FB wasn't even set on private) He was gone qu

13.

Text - Revolutionary_Oil897 • 2h 3 hours into the first shift. Guy lost it serving an annoying customer in a grocery shop, throw a cabbage at her. The manager came and told him to go home cause he finished there. He wasn't surprised. I was standing next to him, it was an entertaining day. Reply 245 ...

14.

Text - astrokade • 1h Incredibly strange office worker turned up each day with wet hair, wearing loose fitting pyjamas and shuffled around in her slippers. Lasted about a week before she was let go. Reply 20 ...

15.

Text - Red_AtNight • 2h I used to do a lot of field work on site investigation programs - basically we'd hang out on a drill rig while the drillers took rock cores. We'd log the cores, take photos, do some down-hole tests, etc. New engineer gets sent to site and gets assigned the night shift (some people love night shift, but most people don't... hence sticking the junior with night shift.) After 5 nights he calls the office and says he wants to come home because he's freezing and he hates it an

16.

Text - pdxchris • 1h Couldn't pass the simple tests given at the end of new hire orientation. Yelled at test facilitator when she wouldn't just take the test for him. Reply

Submitted by:

Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

Guy Transforms Brother's Crazy Voicemail Into Music Video


It's videos like this that make us genuinely appreciative to have the internet around. What would've otherwise just been an insane voicemail from a dude's rambling brother has been transformed into nothing short of modern day art. 

Submitted by: (via Sam Seeger)

Posted by at No comments:
Labels:

Americans And Brits Duke It Out On Tumblr


We always love a little good old cultures clash on Tumblr. So, comparing Hershey's chocolate to any chocolate sold back in England is a grave, mortal sin. Duly noted. Also, that whole bit about how the Brits call it "maths" while Americans call it math was a trip. If you enjoyed these funny Tumblr moments, check out this Twitter thread where cultures clash over canned chicken.

1.

Text - impala-outside-221b: severalzygons: civilish: severalzygons: civilish: severalzygons: civilish: Do British people not drink ice tea as much as Americans do? What do they drink during the summer? tea But it's hot... only tea there are no other drinks only tea Wait.. What if you don't like tea? then the weak die natural selection

2.

Text - nutrigrainbarf: serious question are there any other channels in england besides bbc bbc2 bbc3 ВВC Four bbc1 hd ВBC Five BBC News 24 BBC Parliament ВВC HD Birminghan UNITED KINGDOM Fstguard pswich Londud Reading Southampton Dun Calais ighton Portsmouth Cmou Weymouth Strat of Dover English Channel Aey Cherbourg Am CHANNEL ISLANDS Le Havre Sare Guemsy Rouen Aney Cag Brest Cbbc If you're not into TV there's BBC Radio 1 BBC radio 2, 3, 4 and 6

3.

Text - England: "Fantastic. Cheerio, America." America: "Yeah. Fruit Loops to you, too, dude." s aphcanada-remade 153,269 notes Jul 17th, 2017 ...

4.

Newspaper - Monday September 2, 200 METRO 27 Ship crashed 'after captain forgot about English coast' o l wey One minute each day for ONE extra minute of brik ativity can make nealy hall apound dfference average woman's weight new research shows Lots of short bouts of heart and lungworking activity stais instead ty HAYDEN SMIT CAPIAIN hi carge ship apoond aher ploting ped xpose has revealed san, an sipper f de MV Di lt abo a course Im Sodd to Belpum ccon astaking of a i had the same effect as les

5.

Text - annyoung89: Raise your hand if you have watched so much British television that is has actually changed your speech patterns. I've not the slightest idea how you've come round to that idea. Exactly. I haven't the foggiest idea of how you've come to that conclusion. What in the bloody hell are you blabbering on bout you twat? Behold, people that have never been within 50 feet of anyone even remotely British. Fremdscham (German) Embarrassment felt on behalf of someone else (often someone so

6.

Face - HERSHEY'S VIC COMICS CA fadingnebula: ninjagurlftw:

7.

Text - bowiesglassspider: GOOD GOD THIS IS LIKE EATING RAW COCOA EVEN AS I TYPE NOW I CAN FEEL IT BURNING AT THE BACK OF MY THROAT DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT SUGAR IS FUCK IT IS STILL BURNING I DRANK LIKE A PINT OF RIBENA AND IT STILL BURNS what a bunch of wimps

8.

Text - i dont understand its just chocolate its not even dark chocolate its just regular old hershey's milk chocolate what where you expecting Just to clear things up I'm british and I was expecting a bar of chocolate that had some semblance of sugar or milk Hershey's just appears to be solid cocoa death wait so is british chocolate just like pure sugar or something Pretty much How do you think we survive such long periods of uninteresting bland politics and weather i love the real world news vi

9.

Text - harrysgettinhead: british people are so fucking cute they called christmas lights 'fairy lights' they called sweaters 'jumpers' sneakers are 'trainers' they say 'you alright/you ok' instead of 'how are you' i quit fuck off you condescending twat They also have a very firm grasp on the words cunt and twat, as illustrated above Dickhead is another favourite, knobjockey perhaps too if you're feeling adventurous.

10.

Text - snorlaxatives: quiettimeeverytime: snorlaxatives: do british people really eat beans on toast as a meal in america is everyone ignorant it was just a question damn no need to get hostile go eat some beans on toast 3 setheverman Source: snorlaxatives 558,006 notes Jul 17th, 2017

11.

Text - Anonymous asked: BUT WHAT DOES CHEEKY NANDOS *MEAN* IT HAS TO HAVE A MEANING youngvlcanoes: ahrned: chavvesty:

12.

Text - mate it's hard to explain mate it's just like one day you’ll just be wif your mates having a look in jd and you might fancy curry club at the 'Spoons but your lad Calum who's an absolute ledge and the archbishop of banterbury will be like 'brevs lets have a cheeky nandos instead." and you'll think "Top. Let's smash it." what the hell does this say im f*cking crying

13.

Text - thinkinsidethebluebox: exprincesssammya: prinsenafnord: exprincesssammya: prinsenafnord: Britain is a strange place. #WE HAVE TO BOOST THE POWER AT A CERTAIN TIME TO COPE WITH EVERYONE PUTTING THE KETTLE ON FOR A CUP OF TEA yOU'RE JOKING RIGHT wow No, I'm not. It even has a wiki page. Oh my god.

Submitted by:

Posted by at No comments:
Labels:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)