Thursday, May 28, 2020

Madden Player Gets Robbed, Rage Rant Ensues


This dude got robbed during a "friendly" game of Madden, and proceeded to unleash a full on rage rant. For anyone that's experienced glitches in the game, this rant seems pretty realistic. 

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Farmer Tips Every Single Pallet


Here's a guy just trying to get his pallets of product situated when he manages to create a domino effect that tips every last one. Mostly it's has "dad gummit" style hat throw reaction that sells the frustration.

Submitted by: (via heisenberg cyka)

Tagged: forklift , farmer , FAIL , lol , funny , loading

Business Owner Handles Lying Yelper With Cold Logic


This is a classic example of a business owner fighting the good fight, and handling one of way too many lying reviewers that are out there, trying to ruin perfectly great establishments' reputations. This clap back from the owner really couldn't have gone any better. 

Check out more examples of liars getting called out online, over here.

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Text - Brooklyn Bagel & Coffee Company is in New York, New York. 16 mins Yelp remains a total 9 show. Thanks for playing Rob! @ New York, New York You and 2 others Haha Comment A Share

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Text - Rob M. Rob M. # 55 048 01 Aug 9, 2019 So annoyed with this place. Made an online order for pickup 10-15 mins before arriving. But actually have been waiting for 15 minutes because they don't have enough people working on online orders - would have been waaaay quicker to order at the counter. So frustrating.

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Text - Rob, Let's break this down... • You placed your order (via the order AHEAD app) at 9:05am. • We notified you via app notification and/or email that your order would be ready at 9:26am. You came to the counter at approximately 9:10am asking our staff for your order.

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Text - • You received your order BEFORE 9:20am. • You proceed to light us up on Yelp at 9:25am. These are indisputable facts. We have receipts & screenshots, and the owner was behind the counter at 9:20am. Our suggestion: Change your Yelp avatar from an anonymous egg to a clown. Sincerely, Brooklyn Bagel & Coffee Company

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Apartment Complex Tries To Pull Fast One On Tenant


Capitalism at its finest. This tenant found themselves staring down the unwanted scenario of an apartment complex trying to turn their units into condos, after luring folks in with low rent. So, as the story goes, the tenant basically sets up a marketplace for the use of the complex's laundry machines, and ends up commandeering some of the apartment's income. Beautiful work, really. 

Check out another revenge story with the time that a landlord wouldn't pay for electricity during winter, so they ended up having to pay thousands. 

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Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/OnlySlightlyEvil • 2y Apartment complex pulled a fast one on me; I commandeered some of their income. This happened quite a few years ago. I decided to move from Texas to the midwest in April to be closer to my father who had prostate cancer. The previous October, I came up to visit and go apartment hunting, and I found a complex I liked in a decent location. They wouldn't let me reserve an apartment six months in advance, so I had to wait four months before filling

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Text - So April finally arrives, and I arrive at the leasing office with my U-Haul packed to the brim. (Moving is such a fucking pain in the ass). I go in to get my keys, and amongst other things, the woman explains the washer/ dryer situation to me: There's a laundry room on every floor, each with 2 washers and 2 dryers. The machines don't take coins, they take "tokettes" which are wafer- thin, shield-shaped plastic tokens. Each wash and each dry is 1 tokette. Tokettes are $1 ea. They're sold o

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Text - hours so l'm not usually awake in the afternoon. And who wants to waste time with checks? It was all very inconvenient, so I bought a pack on the spot. I get to my apartment and take the tokettes out of the envelope to examine them. Embossed on the back is the manufacturer. I research the manufacturer and find a distributor. I call the distributor to inquire about prices and availability. A box of 1000 costs $58 + $10 shipping, and they were in stock. Wowza! So I ordered one box and had i

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Text - Fast forward to August. There are letters on everyone's door notifying residents that the building is going condo and that tenants had first dibs on purchasing their units, or the units would be sold and we'd be at the mercy of the new owners. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? I'm gonna be honest with you, I wasn't even fully unpacked at this point. I never would have gone to the trouble of arranging for housing from across the country at this complex if l'd known l'd have to either purchase the apar

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Text - So later that night, I put signs on everyone's door: "MOVING SALE! Laundry tokens 50¢ each! Get 'em while you can!" My phone started ringing at 7 am. I made over $300 that day. I immediately ordered a few more boxes, then put signs up in every building on the property the following week. My phone started blowing up even earlier that time.

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Text - I moved out at the end of my lease, but the orders kept coming in. I'd divvy up each new box of tokens into little zip baggies in 10-, 20-, 25-, 50-, and 100-count increments. My customers' phone numbers were stored in my phone by building address and unit number. When they called, something like 4100 #215 would show up on my caller ID. They'd tell me how many they needed, l'd deliver to their door. I was like a drug dealer. I made several deliveries a week for a year. But then the machin

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Text - In the end, I made about $3,000, which means I bilked the complex out of +$6,000. I have no idea if the sharp decline in token sales was the impetus behind the switch. TL;DR: Apartment complex lures me in with low rent, turns the tables on me and goes condo, I hijack their washing machines. Edit: Someone in the comments asked me to prove it, so here it is:

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Text - -50201 6:18.17

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Tumblr Thread: Elves Are Flat Earthers With Scary Eyes


This fun Tumblr thread has physicists banding together to illustrate the absurd reality of what elves eyes might look like, while factoring in the curvature of Middle Earth, while they're at it. The resulting picture is an unsettling one, for sure. All in all, it's fun to see how ridiculous things can turn out when logic is applied to a fantasy world. 

Get some more Tumblr fun here with this dog that figured out how to herd Lawn Roomba.

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Mom Thinks Sleep Paralysis is Literally Satan


For those not in the know, sleep paralysis is a pretty common phenomenon that's found all across the globe. You find yourself sort of in between being asleep and being awake, like you're conscious, but you can't move or speak. An episode of sleep paralysis can be accompanied by hallucinations that look like a face or figure, and that's commonly referred to as a demon or a visitor. It's pretty god damn scary. Anyway, this person told their mom and it backfired. People mess up, and sometimes that screw up is in their control. Here's a guy who thought a date was a job interview.

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Text - Posted by u/megs_wags 13 hours ago 2 TIFU by showing my mom a drawing of my sleep paralysis visitor I get sleep paralysis. I have for the past few years off and on. Usually every couple of months I'll get a sleep paralysis dream. I've talked to my parents about it before. The fuck up is not that they know. The fuck up is that I decided to try drawing what I saw over my bed last night. And then sent a picture to my mom.

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Text - Now, my parents are hella catholic. Like, homeschooled for 6 years and went to church every day catholic. Like, when things go bad in life my dad wholeheartedly believes it's the devil actively attacking us so we lose our faith. Which explains their reaction when I showed them this picture

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Text - Cue the panicked phone call from my parents who now believe the devil visits me in my sleep. I spent 30 minutes on the phone with them trying to find a bible or a rosary so my mom could sleep without worrying my soul would be stolen. They want me to talk to a priest and get my house blessed and use holy water every time I enter. The next time I visit them, I may end up in an impromptu exorcism. Wish me luck. TL;DR my mom thinks the devil visits me at night

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Text - bob_apathy 3.3k points · 13 hours ago Sleep paralysis sucks! My visitor tends to be an old witch crouching on my chest while other times it's just a presence in the room. I always wake myself up trying to scream in my sleep with my heart racing and adrenaline coursing through me. It makes falling back asleep difficult. Thankfully it doesn't happen as often now as it used to and I've learned some breathing techniques to help me relax after an episode.

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Text - FastWalkingShortGuy 6.3k points · 12 hours ago I had sleep paralysis once. Just once. You know what my demon was? Fucking Woody from Toy Story. I have never been terrified and amused at the same time before. But that time, I was.

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Untrue "Facts" People Were Told In Complete Seriousness


There's a lot of people walking around with their heads still full of garbage they heard on the bus in 6th grade, and they're more than willing to tell you with full confidence that bears lay eggs. From absurd falsehoods to nonexistent laws that people insist are real, people are willing to say some absurd things in complete seriousness.

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Text - the_krusty_cl0d 493 points · 18 hours ago My grandma wasn't very happy with the fact that I'm vegetarian so she tried to convince me that fish were vegetables. .. I still can't help but laugh because she wasn't even joking

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Text - aBucketofChestnuts 7.6k points · 20 hours ago My roommate tried to convince me that there are Chimpanzee-people in the jungle because isolated tribes are getting it on with the monkeys. I tried to explain how species reproduce and quickly realized he thinks you can bang a horse and get a centaur.

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Text - psych_edelic_survey 7.4k points · 19 hours ago It's possible to breathe underwater. She then tried to demonstrate and snorted a bunch of lake water up her nose. She was 14 at the time.

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Text - a_guy_named_gai 5.2k points · 19 hours ago Peacocks dont have sex. A female gets pregnant when it eats the teardrops of the male.

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Text - downhereforyoursoul 3.9k points · 19 hours ago An old boss explained to me one day that hearing men sing causes women's brains to release some kind of sex hormone that makes us crazy. This is why girls and women screamed and fainted over the Beatles back in the day and why we get all hysterical at concerts. He said it in this really condescending tone, too, like he was dropping some deep knowledge on me that I probably wouldn't understand, but that's how he explained most things anyway. F

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Text - Alarmed_Brick 3.9k points · 18 hours ago · edited 7 hours ago Not me but my mum. She was walking with a group of friends on a popular trail in the UK. She has quite an outspoken friend, let's call her Sally. The group saw a number of Chinese tourists taking pictures of the sheep along the trail. One of the group asked; "I wonder why they are all taking pictures of sheep all the time." To which Sally replies; "It's because they don't have sheep in China" The group all believed Sally, and t

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Text - fazedpan 3.9k points · 18 hours ago I was told random strangers would offer me drugs my whole life.

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Text - USPSA-Addict 3.4k points · 19 hours ago You can get black lung disease from overcooking the marshmallows for s'mores.

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Text - 69schrutebucks 3.0k points · 19 hours ago My cousin's wife told me that blue eyed babies can't wear Pampers diapers because they're all allergic.

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Text - InannasPocket 2.9k points · 19 hours ago Africa is one country. We had literally just finished a geography segment about the countries in Africa.

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Text - Keefer1970 2.9k points · 18 hours ago The band name "KISS" is an acronym for "Knights In Satan's Service." "AC/DC" = "Anti-Christian Devil Children" "Slayer" = "Satan Laughs As You Eternally Rot" ..all told to us without irony by a Sunday school teacher, circa 1987

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Text - MeiMei91 2.8k points · 19 hours ago "soap makes the water molecules smaller, that's how it cleans"

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Text - onioning 2.7k points · 19 hours ago · edited 8 hours ago Goats lay eggs. A several minute argument followed, and I did not convince him he was wrong. I work in meat processing. Not that that's necessary to know that goats don't lay eggs, but it just made the argument all the more ridiculous. I'd literally seen goats born live countless times, and yet he argued. Edit: I also worked at a caviar bar for a while, and many times had to hear from people who were horrified we were eating dolphin

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Text - Foolscap77 2.4k points · 20 hours ago I always like "if they are undercover law enforcement and you ask, they HAVE to tell you!"

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Text - I_throw_socks_at_cat 1.8k points · 17 hours ago The shape of the banana and the way it fits your hand so well are proof that god exists. He stopped using that argument when one of our co-workers pointed out that dicks fit hands pretty well too.

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Text - ToxicMasculinity1981 1.6k points · 16 hours ago This is a story that is too long to type in full but I once got into a disagreement with some random dude at an A&W because he thought that 1/4 (one quarter) was more than 1/3 (one third). His reasoning was that since 1/4 has a four and 1/3 has a three, and 4 is one unit higher than 3 then 1/4 is more than 1/3. The worst part was that in order to prove him wrong I asked the cashier girl which weighed more, she didn't know. Then I asked the n

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Text - shaka_sulu 1.5k points · 19 hours ago North Carolina can't be in The South... its has North in its name!

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Text - atlantis_airlines 1.4k points · 18 hours ago I was talking to a guy at the bar and he was telling me how soap is unnecessary for washing your hands. All you need is a combination of hot water and cold water. Not warm. But use both cold and hot. I did not shake his hand.

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Text - iffyiffyyahyah 1.4k points · 20 hours ago My mum told me Michael Jackson died from eating too many potato chips, in an attempt to get me to stop snacking..

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Text - DisneyDork1313 1.3k points · 18 hours ago My ex argued that fossils weren't actually old and those creatures never existed, they were just stuck there to confuse us.

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Text - RedHotChilliFeta 1.3k points · 18 hours ago · edited 11 hours ago "The internet is in the sky." I explained how it's in the ocean. They ganged up on me and said “It's called the 'cloud' because it's in the sky, duh!" It was 3 of them vs 1 of me. I walked away Ê»losing' the debate. There's power in numbers folks.

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Text - TreePretty 1.1k points · 18 hours ago A woman I worked with a long time ago told me that her proof of Christianity being the correct religion is that it was the first one.

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Text - LOB90 931 points · 18 hours ago When you go to Liverpool and start singing a Beatles song, everybody will join in like it's some Disney movie. The guy was dead serious.

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Text - Scamperillium 789 points · 18 hours ago Someone once told me that it never snows in the state of Washington because 'its on the west coast'. Same person also told me that she doesnt believe in gravity because "if it was real, wouldnt the sun just suck up the moon?". She was 24 when she said these things to me.

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Text - eraser_dust 733 points · 19 hours ago My dad believes "nano silver" cures everything & truly believes in his “nano silver" throat spray. He says kings & emperors in the past drank from silver cups & that's how they had long, healthy lives. Er. No they didn't. They had mostly short, often disease riddled lives.

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Text - RealityTimeshare 662 points · 19 hours ago La Quinta is Spanish for "next to Denny's". I thought they were making a joke. They were not.

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Text - AggressiveResult2 594 points · 18 hours ago That men have one less rib than women, and that alone disproves evolution.

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Text - TaintTickle86 507 points · 19 hours ago That you can live off drinking sea water because Gatorade has sodium in it. I was telling this dude about a guy who was stranded out at sea for awhile and survived by drinking rainwater and shark blood or some shit, and dude was like "why didn't he drink the sea water? Gatorade has sodium in it and it's fine. It's a myth that you can't drink sea water. Probably so they can keep charging people for drinking water."

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