Expecting Mom Chooses Her Mother To Be In Delivery Room Over Husband, Doesn't Understand Why He Is Upset

In what seems like the most selfish move of the century, this expecting mom didn't like that her husband spent all his time working, so she chose to have her mom in the delivery room over him. The catch is, the dude is working a ton specifically because she can't work. It sounds like an oversight, to put it lightly.

The fact that someone could write all this out and not have the self-reflective capability to see themselves in the wrong is kinda staggering. And it sounds like the type of thing that was written by the dude himself, but from her perspective, just to show her how absurd she's being. But hey, who knows.

It's too bad that the whole reason this is even a big deal is because neither of these people get any kind of paid parental leave. But hey, that's a conversation to get kicked down the road forever.

Infuriating Nincompoops Who Seriously Didn't Get The Joke

No one can walk around expecting everyone to like your jokes. In fact, you might be the kind of person who is pretty confident that almost no one will like your jokes. But one thing most people can agree on with an obviously dumb joke is that at least it was a "joke." Where it gets hairy is when people misread these deliberate, obvious jokes and say "what do you mean a horse walks into a bar and orders a drink? That doesn't make any sense at all. Horses can't talk. You're a liar. Why would you lie about something like that." And then, as they scowl at you, you go "why the long face?"

The internet is a place rife with miscommunication, swiveling meanings, and obscure context. When most of us don't understand something, we either ignore it, learn more about it, or assume it was a joke. But not these people. They're itching to project their own ignorance upon you, like an outdoor movie theater for jackasses.

Here are 25 chowder heads who didn't get jokes.

Mother-In-Law Lies About Allergies For Years, Gets Called Out When She Steals Mousse

It's understandable why people take allergies seriously. When your cousin tells you that an errant peanut could send them to the hospital, it's in your best interest to make triple-sure that you're not feeding them anything that could make their throat snap shut like a bear trap. We do our best, and we believe our loved ones when they tell us what they can and can't eat, because, presumably, we like them. Also, it makes Thanksgiving super awkward when you have to throw the turkey off the table in order to do CPR. We're not gonna say it's not a pain to cook two separate dinners, but that's because we don't want to see our loved ones reenacting the chest buster scene from Alien just because they smelled shrimp.

When it gets interesting is when picky eaters stand under the hard-fought allergy umbrella just because they think something is "icky." If this lady had just been forthright about her preferences, or was a grownup about it, she might not be in this situation. But she didn't, so she is.

For more dessert-based subterfuge, here's the family feud that erupted over false cake-pop pretenses.

Pathetically Sad Puppy Makes Boyfriend Into a Liar, Breaks Promise to Girlfriend

Screw death machines, rays, lasers and any other ridiculous spy film torture devices that have been introduced over the years… All the bad guys needed was to let some sad puppies loose and the spy would have let them know everything they need to know to execute their dastardly plan. There's something about those "sad little eyes" that can melt a will of steel or the coldest of hearts.

Reddit has convicted this guy as an 'A-Hole' for breaking his promise to his girlfriend, but I want to take a look at an alternative take here. From the puppy's point of view he would have been the 'A-Hole' if he hadn't let the little guy up. After all, why should he have all of that comfort to himself while poor Murph is stuck down there on the cold hard ground? 

We're taking Murph's side here and girlfriend is the 'A-Hole' for denying puppy cuddles. 

Husband Volunteers Wife to Bake Mother's Cake in Presumptuous Birthday Mistake

We're just going to come right out and say it. This one is a definite "ESH" (Everybody Sucks Here.) The husband sucks for volunteering his wife to bake his mother's cake in front of the said mother without checking with his wife first. She also sucks for her reaction, being outwardly rude and instigating further conflict by bringing his relationship with her mother into it. The guy might have been an idiot for volunteering her in the first place but, to his credit, his wife even admits that he did not argue back with her despite his "argumentative nature."

This thread was posted to the r/AITA subreddit by the wife, who wants to see if she is in the wrong for the way she reacted at dinner. The readers narrowly voted in her favor declaring that she was "NTA" (Not the A-Hole.) Despite this, there were several replies that agree with us here that "ESH." 

35 People Share the Most Unattractive Things They See in Dating Profiles

Everyone has something that gives them the "ick" I've definitely covered this before, but mine is any sort of eating, mouth, or food noises. It's just something that I absolutely can not tolerate and can quickly drive me up the bloody wall. It's completely irrational, and I'm happy to admit that, but just something about the way those noises touch my ears makes my skin crawl. Traditionally people would say, "Like nails on a chalkboard." for me, it's' "An open mouth chewer churning through a sloppy burrito." 

Those "icks" tend to be personally specific and often don't reveal themselves until you've actually met the person. Dating profile "no gos" tend to be a bit different… They're pretty universally accepted, and so you would do well to avoid them.

Reddit gathered on this popular AskReddit thread to share what they find utterly unattractive in online dating profiles. Given the number of upvotes these responses have received, you would do well to avoid them. 

Consider this a comprehensive list of what not to put in your dating profile and red flags to look out for in other's. 

Mountain Man Makes His Own Quad Axe and Chops Wood Into Fourths With a Single Swing

With all the time he saved chopping wood, he'll be screamin' yodelayheehoo!