Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Guy Gets Called Out, Fakes Panic Attack


That's one way to handle criticism. 

Submitted by: (via Dr. Phil)

Tom Cruise In An Awkward Scientology Video


He's talking but not really saying anything. It's strangely mesmerizing, and completely hilarious. 

Submitted by: (via Aleteuk)

A Horse-drawn Cart Doing Donuts


It's a horse-drawn donut. Before The Fast and The Furious movies, this is all people had. 

Submitted by: (via liquid paint 2)

Tagged: donuts , cars , lol , funny , trick , horse , win

Intriguing Shower Thoughts To Stew Over


Nothing like a batch of shower thoughts to occupy the mind and fill the void. For whatever reason our brains churn out all kinds of nuggets of half-baked wisdom when we're in the shower. Whether it's the sobering realization that our tongues have the hardest job, and are constantly avoiding being chopped off; or something more innocent like the fact that taking crumbs away from an ant could make said ant look like a liar to the rest of the colony; shower thoughts are a swell time.

1.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jul 6 at 9:31am · O "It's Raining Men," "Let The Bodies Hit The Floor," and "Free Fallin" could be different perspectives of the same event. - 21 1 Share

2.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jul 6 at 7:46am• O The ability of a Golf cameraman to track a small white ball through the air over hundreds of yards is significantly underrated. - 22 1 Share

3.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 30 at 8:50pm • ... With all those fake cities by the border North Korea has the potential to open the greatest paintball parks ever 7

4.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jul 1 at 8:20pm · O Drinking water the morning after having too much alcohol is like consuming a real life health potion Ib 8 3 Comments

5.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jul 1 at 7:05pm · O In The Mighty Ducks (1992), a NHL game is played by 2 teams that no longer exist (Minnesota North Stars vs Hartford Whalers), and is watched by a team that now exists (Ducks) 00= 6 1 Comment

6.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 26 at 9:41am• People who don't have to pee at night really underappreciate that fact. 28 3 Comments

7.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 30 at 8:20pm• 6 One day passports will need to list our mass rather than our weight to be more consistent amongst different planets 19 2 Comments 1 Share

8.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 26 at 8:41am • The first ever Battle Royal we all played as kids was Musical Chairs 42 5 Comments 8 Shares

9.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 27 at 11:41am • O The human body can form a protected calcified layer to protect itself from infection and all we do is pick at it. Ib 8

10.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 27 at 2:31pm• O Butter is a milkshake Ib 6

11.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 14 at 7:33pm • Boxing is a competition to see who can jiggle their opponent's soft brain tissue hard enough to make them forget how to stand up. 73 7 Comments 12 Shares

12.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 14 at 6:31pm Hot dogs taste way better everywhere that is not your house O=0 45 6 Comments 2 Shares

13.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 30 at 7:05pm• 6 Pizza is a real time pie chart showing how much pizza is left.

14.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jul 1 at 1:20am• O The $1 bill is the bill we are most likely to give children, and the one most likely to have been in a strippers underwear. O=O 20 1 Share

15.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 13 at 10:33am • Every Single Person in the World has Been Alive for Longer than they can Remember O=O 29 2 Shares

16.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 15 at 7:33am Perfect attendance awards are like best immune system contests. 26 2 Shares

17.

Text - Shower Thoughts .. Jun 15 at 10:33am Watermelon is just crunchy juice 76 21 Comments 8 Shares

18.

Text - Shower Thoughts ... Jun 15 at 10:33am • ( There could be a species on earth that is so good at camouflage that we don't even know it exists 20 Comments 7 Shares

19.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 15 at 9:33am • In a real zombie apocalypse, after a few months, a huge amount of the zombies pants and or underwear would have fallen around their ankles.

20.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 14 at 7:33am · O Smell is like a wireless version of taste O 32 9 Comments 5 Shares

21.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 30 at 11:35pm You can say "have a nice day" and no problem. But you can't say "enjoy the next 24 hours!" And not sound vaguely threatening. O- 103 8 Comments 10 Shares

22.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jul 1 at 1:20am · O A chicken salad sandwich and an egg salad sandwich are the same sandwich at different points in its lifecycle... O 69 12 Comments 7 Shares

23.

Text - Shower Thoughts .. Jun 13 at 10:33am • The only reason we know what foods are poisonous is because someone didn't 52 5 Comments 4 Shares

24.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 14 at 7:33am• 6 Late last year Metallica rereleased their hit song from 1986 "master of puppets" under the title "master of puppets (remaster)" instead of the clearly superior title "(Re)master of puppets" 20 5 Shares

25.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 15 at 1:33am • Anything that is "grape" flavored tastes nothing like a grape. It tastes purple. O=O 55 1 Comment 6 Shares

26.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 15 at 8:51pm · O A Death Certificate is a Ghost's Birth Certificate O=O 37 5 Shares

27.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 18 at 1:36pm · O The Walking Dead is watched by the sitting living. 5 Comments 11 Shares

28.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 18 at 11:36am The worst part about being an adult is that no one cares what your favourite dinosaur is. 158 103 Comments 33 Shares

29.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 18 at 11:36am • The fact that our lips can create an airtight seal and a watertight seal pretty easy is really underrated. O0 50 3 Comments 5 Shares

30.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 14 at 7:03am • Whoever said "The customer is always right" really screwed over generations of service industry employees 30 7 Shares

31.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 30 at 9:05pm • O A sandwich is just a salad with really big croutons.

32.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 27 at 11:41am ·O A scab is a bandaid that is both natural and man-made. Ib 11

33.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 15 at 8:33am • ... If you clean up a mess after an ant has already left to report back to his colony you're essentially making him look like a liar 84 8 Comments 6 Shares

34.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 15 at 1:33am• O When you know nothing about magnets, they are enigmatic sorcery, when you know a little about magnets, they are predictable and mundane, and when you know a lot about magnets they are enigmatic sorcery again. O= 21 2 Comments

35.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 14 at 4:33am • The opposite of "Tinder" would be an app named "Tender" which connects people for long-lasting, romantic relationships. O 58 8 Comments 1 Share

36.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 21 at 7:43am • If you can't tie a knot, you cannot. If you can, you can knot. O=O 73 17 Comments 16 Shares

37.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 17 at 2:36am · O We don't have voluntary control over our internal organs because our brains don't trust us enough to keep ourselves alive. O=0 89 3 Comments 14 Shares

38.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 26 at 12:06am• Those baby gate blockers for stairs and stuff are basically real life 'need more experience to access' spots that are in games. 36 4 Comments 1 Share

39.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 19 at 2:13pm • O Maybe the reason super villains always spill their evil plan is because the want someone to talk to. 16 3 Shares

40.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 19 at 10:23pm • We never appreciate the fact the most complex thing in the Universe is sitting right there inside our very own skulls. 17

41.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 19 at 4:33pm • ... At some point in your life, an attractive person passed by you and regretted not talking to you. O=0 40 5 Shares

42.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 13 at 5:33pm • O Atoms are the pixels of real life. - 41 1 Comment 6 Shares

43.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 21 at 8:33am • Cari from "The Incredibles" is actually a really good babysitter when you think about it. Most people would have ran away as soon as Jack Jack started using his powers, but she stayed and kept watching him for over 24 hours when she could have been KILLED by him. THAT is impressive. - 10 3 Shares

44.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 17 at 1:56pm · O The one thing Q-Tips tells us not to do is the only thing we use Q-Tips for. 20 4 Shares

45.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 26 at 11:02am • It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly You and 15 others 2 Shares

46.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 14 at 10:33am • You don't realize how much muscle memory you have until you move your apps around on your phone. 47 5 Comments 2 Shares

47.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 21 at 6:10pm • Horses are running around on their fingernails 19 2 Comments 6 Shares

48.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 17 at 11:26am • O We need more reminders to enjoy breathing while we don't have a stuffed nose. 23 1 Comment 2 Shares

49.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 17 at 10:06am • Some of us are still "it" from when we played tag as a child 34 5 Comments 4 Shares

50.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 14 at 12:33pm • Your tongue has one of the most dangerous jobs in your body. It's literally milimeters from being chopped off every day. O 15 3 Shares

51.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 14 at 12:33pm Aloe Vera is the friendliest plant. Imagine someone rips off your arm and rubs it on their sunburn, and you say, "Cool. Hope you feel better. There's another arm here if you need it." 16 1 Comment 3 Shares

52.

Text - Shower Thoughts Jun 26 at 11:02am • Anxiety is like when video game combat music is playing but you can't find any enemies. 16 6 Shares

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